Doesn’t the good part usually come before you squirt something onto my stomach? I want to ask, but I bite my tongue. No need to stoke the fire when he’s going to be all up in my lady bits in a few.
Gah! He’s gonna be all up in my lady bits in a few.
Seriously, though. I’m gonna kill Dylan.
And Sway.
Her knowing smirk is killing me as she watches our interaction like a reality TV junkie minus the popcorn.
A loud, squirting noise echoes throughout the room as Dr. Bennett squeezes a bunch of pink gunk onto my stomach. I gasp when it touches my skin.
With a quiet laugh, I look up at him. “It’s cold.”
“Sorry, the warmer must not be working. Let me just grab my wand, and then we’ll get to the fun part.”
He turns around to grab the wand while my teeth dig into my lip to keep from laughing. Swiveling my head to the right, I try to contain my embarrassment, but Sway bounces her eyebrows up and down as soon as she comes into view.
And I lose it. My snort is far from quiet as tears leak from the corners of my eyes before I finally give in and laugh. It’s loud. And embarrassing. And so impolite I should probably burn in hell for the thoughts churning in my head. But I can’t help it. He’s gorgeous, and he just mentioned his––cough––wand.
“Something funny?” Dr. Bennett rumbles with his head cocked curiously.
“Nope,” I reply through another bout of laughter as Sway joins in.
Kill me. Kill me now.
“It’s the nerves,” Anthony covers for me. “Right, Marcy?”
“Mmmhmm,” I hum as a fresh wave of tears well in my eyes, and my face stretches into an even wider grin. Wiping them away, I apologize, “I’m sorry. Seriously. Anthony’s right. It’s totally the nerves. And the hormones. Let’s be real. I’m a mess.”
He chuckles softly before raising a wand into the air. “You’re not a mess. You ready to hear this heartbeat?”
I nod, my dopey grin slowly sliding into a soft, comfortable smile. “Sway. Anthony,” I order. “Get your butts over here and listen to your baby’s heartbeat.”
Like a little bunny, Sway jumps up then bounces over to me with Anthony trailing a foot behind. Once they’re both beside the exam table, I look up at Dr. Bennett and release a deep breath. “We’re ready.”
Sway grabs my hand as Dr. Bennett presses the wand a few inches above my pelvic bone.
Brows furrowing, Dr. Bennett moves it a little to the left, but I don’t hear anything. He shifts the wand to his other hand and presses it into my stomach at a forty-five-degree angle.
Still. Nothing.
Squeezing my hand a little tighter, Sway rests her head against Anthony’s shoulder but doesn’t say a word. I can feel her anxiety rolling off of her, and it amplifies my own until I’m desperate to break the silence.
“Everything okay?” I whisper, my voice threatening to crack.
Dr. Bennett moves the wand to the right side of my uterus but keeps the same forty-five-degree angle. His brows are wrinkled with concentration before a soft rustle echoes through the static of the doppler. As his eyes connect with mine, his triumphant grin is contagious.
My heart stops.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The rhythmic beat is louder than a siren in the otherwise silent room, and my eyes close as I soak up every single pulse.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
A quiet sniffle grabs my attention, and I look up to see Sway’s eyes red with tears. Wrapping his arms around his wife like a security blanket, Anthony pulls her into his chest and rests his chin on top of her head. His knuckles turn white as he holds onto her so tightly that I’m surprised she can breathe.
I can see it in his eyes. He’s close to breaking too.
I feel like I’m intruding on an intimate moment. A moment that should be shared between husband and wife and their baby. A happy couple who are unable to conceive without modern medicine. Yet, here I am.
The oven.
The girl with a healthy uterus, but no one to use it with.
The realization sucks. Hard.
Sometimes life really isn’t fair.
Then that same thump, thump, thump echoes through the room, reminding me that sometimes we find a loophole to sway it in our favor. And I’m so glad Anthony and Sway get to cheat the plan fate had laid before them.
And that I get to help them do it.
“Man, I’m a mess. I’m never a mess,” Sway chokes out with a pathetic laugh before wiping away a fresh wave of tears that fall down her cheeks in rivulets. “Thank you. Both of you.” She squeezes my hand again before sniffling. “Thank you so much.”
I dig my teeth into my lower lip to keep my composure, but it doesn’t do much. The tears still threaten to escape, no matter how much I try to hold them back.
What do I say to that?
You’re welcome?
It just…doesn’t do it justice, especially because I’m the one who feels honored to have this opportunity. If only I could make them understand that.
Squeezing her hand in return, I nod, positive that I look like a bobblehead but unable to say a word.
“I’m going to go clean up in the bathroom while you guys finish the exam,” Sway announces. “We’ll meet you in the waiting room, okay, Marce?”
“Sounds great. I’ll uh…”––I swallow past the giant ball of emotion that’s lodged in my throat––“I’ll see you in a few.”
Anthony ushers Sway into the hall as Dr. Bennett presses a little black button on the wall that I assume notifies his nurse to come back into the room. Sure enough, Tracey enters with a small tray of equipment and sets it down on the counter next to the sink.
“We ready?” she asks.
“Yeah.” Stepping away from me, Dr. Bennett wiggles the mouse on the computer screen and scans my chart for a minute then grabs some gloves. “You don’t need a pap today, so we’re going to just do a quick internal exam to check your cervix and make sure everything is in good shape down there. Do you have any questions?”
Ummm…are all your patients like Niagra Falls when you go poking down there or…?
I shake my head. “Nope. No questions.”
Please don’t notice I’m wet. Please don’t notice I’m wet.
“Okay. I’m going to have you put your heels on the edge of the table and scoot down a few inches toward me.” He sits down on a stool near my freaking vajayjay then waits for me to comply.
Aaand it’s official. All the touchy-feely emotions from moments ago disappeared as soon as Sway and Anthony stepped out of the room. Now, I’m drowning in a whole different level of touchy-feely. I press my legs together and count to ten before he soothes, “I promise, this’ll be quick and painless. Don’t stress.”
Oh, I’m stressing, I want to correct him. I’m stressing bad. There’s no way I’m getting out of this with my ego intact.
Still, I follow his instructions and scoot down a few inches before pressing my heels against the padded edge of the table. The cotton blanket is still covering my lower half, but I know it’s only a matter of time before he removes it, and that’s when I’m going to have to fight every instinct in my body to keep from curling up into a ball.