The hint of insecurity in his message leaves me swooning…and curious enough to message back.
Marcy123Marcy: Nah. I think I can handle the non-doctor Ben. For now.
DRBen918: For now. I like the loophole. Do you always leave yourself an exit strategy? And what are you doing awake at 2 in the morning?
Marcy123Marcy: Yes, I always leave myself an exit strategy. I’m no dummy. And I thought we already discussed that I’m not much of a sleeper.
DRBen918: Not gonna lie. I kinda thought you were just being agreeable.
Marcy123Marcy: Nope. Sleep and I aren’t great friends. Apparently, you weren’t kidding either. Any babies tonight to distract you from your insomnia?
DRBen918: Unfortunately, no. But your messages seem to be doing the trick just fine.
Marcy123Marcy: Glad I can be of service. Anything else I can offer you?
His response isn’t instant this time. I can see the little bees fluttering across my screen, notifying me that he’s in the process of messaging me back. But they keep disappearing, only to pop back up when I’m about to throw in the towel and call it a night.
Geez. I didn’t know my message would’ve required that much overthinking.
And now I’m the one overthinking it. Did I say the wrong thing? Did I make an assumption that was completely off base? Am I going to ever be able to show my face to him again?
Gah! Kill me now. Just…kill me.
Finally, my phone vibrates with a notification, and I’m a little terrified to read what it says. Squeezing my eyes shut, I peek one lid open and brace myself for embarrassment as I scan the message.
DRBen918: I guess that depends on if I’m talking to my patient or a mysterious girl on a dating app.
Oh. I quirk my brow. That’s not too bad. Maybe we are on the same page. Gnawing on my lower lip, I reply.
Marcy123Marcy: And who exactly were you hoping to talk to tonight when you messaged me?
DRBen918: The girl I haven’t been able to stop thinking about….
Marcy123Marcy: That’s not an answer.
DRBen918: Neither was yours.
Laughing, I roll onto my side and scan the messages another dozen times before thinking of something to reply.
Marcy123Marcy: Touché. I guess…when you message Marcy123Marcy, you’re talking to a mysterious girl on a dating app whose pictures are blurred out due to privacy. But if you play your cards right, you might be able to convince her to send you a picture for your time. She’s a lot sleep deprived and a little delirious right now, so your chances are looking pretty good at the moment. So, tell me about this girl you haven’t been able to stop thinking about. Should I be jealous?
DRBen918: My initial instinct was to say yes, but let’s be honest. Probably not. The girl I haven’t been able to stop thinking about screams commitment, and that’s not something I’m comfortable with right now. Scratch that. I’m not sure I’d ever be comfortable with committing to a relationship. My wife died a couple years ago. And even though she’s gone, I know I won’t ever be able to replace her, and I don’t want to hurt the other girl or lead her into believing I can give her something that I can’t.
Wow. Honesty. I swallow down my insecurities and start to reply when another message pops up.
DRBen918: I’m hoping that you and I might be a better fit since I found you through the B&B app. That you’ll be okay with a good time, but that’s it since that’s all I’m willing to offer.
Marcy123Marcy: Don’t assume, Dr. Ben. You might think she looks like a commitment kind of girl, but you’d be surprised. You’re not the only one that’s been burned in the past. As for me, a good time is all I’m looking for, so it seems you’ve met your match.
DRBen918: Seems I have. Tell me, Marcy123Marcy, what’s a guy gotta do to get a picture? You mentioned me playing my cards right. Any suggestions on how I might do that?
Marcy123Marcy: Why don’t you start by telling me what you’re wearing. ;)
DRBen918: Is it too cliché to say I’m naked in bed?
I laugh––hard––covering my face with the comforter for a split second before throwing it off just as quickly to type my response. I’m so going to hell.
Marcy123Marcy: Prove it.
It doesn’t take long for an image to appear through the app. The picture is a little dark and pixelated, but as I let my eyes adjust, an image of a very naked Ben with a dark bed sheet covering up the good stuff appears.
Is it hot in here?
Staring at the image, my mouth waters as I debate whether I should download the image and open up photoshop to see if I can manipulate the light––or lack thereof––to give me a better glimpse of the Adonis in the picture, or if that would be considered too stalkerish.
My phone vibrates with another message.
DRBen918: You there?
Marcy123Marcy: Yup.
DRBen918: And? You can’t go quiet when a guy sends you a picture like that! Don’t you know proper sexting etiquette?
Laughing, I shake my head and type my reply.
Marcy123Marcy: Proper sexting etiquette? I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with it. I must’ve missed that class in school.
DRBen918: No worries. I took it in medical school, so it makes sense you weren’t privy to it.
Marcy123Marcy: Ah, yup. Definitely makes sense. So, tell me, Dr. Ben. How would proper sexting etiquette recommend I respond to your picture?
DRBen918: Well…you might wanna mention how studly I look. You know…to stroke my ego and such.
Marcy123Marcy: Call it a hunch, but I think your ego is juuust fine.
DRBen918: You could always help me stroke something else….
Marcy123Marcy: Oh, really?
DRBen918: Yeah, but he’s too afraid to say hello right now. He’s a little shy since you took so long to respond in the first place. You might need to coax him with a picture or two. You know…even the playing field.
Marcy123Marcy: To be fair, you’ve already seen the goods….
DRBen918: I’m sorry, but the “goods” were only revealed to the professional Dr. Bennett. Good ol’ Dr. Ben wasn’t on the premises at the time of the incident you’re referring to.
Marcy123Marcy: Is that right? Cuz I call bullshit.