I nod while squeezing my eyes shut as that same annoying dizziness rises to the surface. “Yup. Piece of cake.”
This doesn’t feel like a piece of cake.
29
Ben
“She’s going to be fine,” Tracey tells me. Janet, the nurse who’s been assigned to help Marcy, called her as soon as I lost my shit with the IV. Tracey drove here as fast as she could and has been given the shitty task of helping me keep my head on straight.
Good luck with that, Trace.
“Preeclampsia sucks, but you can handle this, Ben. She’s not the first patient you’ve dealt with that’s developed it, and they’ve all been fine as soon as they delivered. You know what you’re doing.”
“None of them were Marcy,” I admit with my head in my hands outside of Marcy’s hospital room.
I know I’m supposed to be strong for her. I know that I look like a green doctor who’s facing a patient with a terminal illness when it’s definitely a treatable diagnosis. But I can’t help it.
I can’t lose her too.
Not after the shitstorm I’ve been through since Kate died.
I can’t.
“Marcy’s strong. She’s going to be fine. And as soon as the anesthesiologist finishes with this epidural, we’ll get her in for an emergency c-section, and she’ll be able to start recovering. It’s going to be okay.”
“What if it isn’t? You know how quickly this can turn bad. How many complications we might face in that surgery. I’m not sure I’ll be able to think clearly in there. That I’ll be able to make the right decisions to save her.”
“You’re the best OB/GYN in the state, and Dr. Delancy will be assisting. This isn’t about your skills or your instincts. This is about your past and your fear of losing someone you love. But you’re her best shot, so you need to face this head-on and get your head straight. Understand?”
I force myself to nod as Tracey’s gaze catches on something behind me.
“Good. Because the anesthesiologist is walking toward us right now. It’s showtime.”
30
Marcy
Pressure. And tugging. Honestly, it’s a weird combination to know your stomach is being sliced open, yet you can’t feel a thing.
Just more pressure.
And more tugging.
A heart rate monitor continues to beat in a steady rhythm, and I try to focus on the sound instead of the wet slurping that makes me want to cringe.
There’s a light blue screen preventing me from seeing what Ben is doing to me right now, but every once in a while, I hear his deep voice rumble, “Hey, Marce? Are you doing okay?”
I swallow. “Yeah. I’m okay. Is everything good over there?”
“So far, so good.”
“Okay.”
The lights are bright, and I close my eyes to block it out as the minutes tick by.
“You ready, Marcy?” Ben calls, though I have no idea how much time has passed.
“Uh…yes?” A nervous laugh slips out of me as I stare at the blue screen, wishing I could see what’s happening on the other side.
Or maybe I don’t want to know.
More pressure.
More tugging.
And then a baby’s cry echoes through the room. A new energy consumes the space as nurses rush around me to take care of Anthony and Sway’s baby, who wasn’t supposed to arrive for at least another two weeks.
“Is she okay?” My voice cracks as my desperation takes over.
“She’s going to be fine,” Tracey tells me, peeking around the screen. “We were mainly worried about her lungs––if they’ve had enough time to develop––but that cry tells us everything we need to know. The NICU nurses are going to take her while we get you taken care of, then we’ll see what we can do about letting you meet her, okay?”
I nod and try to blink back my tears, but it’s no use. They slip down my temple and into my hair as I lie strapped down on the surgical table.
“H-hey Ben?” I whimper.
“Yeah, baby?” He sounds distracted, although I guess that makes sense. He’s a little busy stitching me back up.
“You okay over there?”
Forcing out a laugh, he replies, “Just focused on taking care of you.”
The dizziness I’ve slowly become accustomed to threatens to take over, so I close my eyes again. “Okay. Just checking.”
“You look good in your scrubs,” I note when Ben wakes me up with a kiss to my forehead.
“Thanks. How are you feeling?”
I shrug. “Okay.”
“You sure?”
“Still dizzy,” I admit. “Super dizzy. And hot. But that’s normal, right? Or did I imagine you telling me those symptoms?”
“It’s from the mag sulfate. So, yeah, it’s normal. Sorry, babe. But we’re doing a few tests to make sure you’re stable. The effects of preeclampsia can be rough, and now we have to wait for them to clear up.”
“How’s the baby?”
“She’s good, babe. You did good.” Running his hand over my hairline, he watches me carefully. “You scared me today.”
“You scared me too.”
He hangs his head as a sigh escapes his lips. Blinking slowly, Ben presses his lips to my forehead before murmuring against my skin, “I’m sorry, Marce. The idea of losing you….”
“I’m not going anywhere, Ben.”
“You can’t promise me that. No one can.”
“You’re right, but I’m here, Ben. And I’ll always do everything in my power to stay here. Where I belong.”
“And I’ll always do everything in my power to keep you here,” he promises. “You should rest. You’re tired.”
“I’m exhausted,” I confirm. “Are Anthony and Sway here yet?”
“They got here an hour ago and are waiting to see you. They told me to let them know when they could introduce you to their baby girl. Are you ready?”
My IV gets caught on something as I try to push myself up on the hospital bed. I wince and stop fumbling.
“Shit, you okay?” He helps me get a little more comfortable by fluffing a pillow and putting it behind my back. My abs are useless and make something as simple as sitting up on my own feel like I’m running a freaking marathon.
“Thanks,” I breathe out before dropping my head onto the pillow behind me. “And yes, I’m ready.”
“You sure?”
“Positive. Besides, I wanna meet Little Miss.”
“Okay. They’re monitoring her in the NICU for now, so we’ll have to FaceTime them, but you can’t chat for long. You need your rest.” He gives me a pointed look.
“Yes, Dr. Bennett.”
With a smirk, he stands up and disappears before returning a few minutes later with an iPad in hand. The screen is already lit up with two of my favorite people, and my face stretches into a grin when a little pink blanket bundled in Sway’s arms comes into view.