‘I understand.’ I felt the blood drain from my face. So much for Saturday working giving me extra Brownie points; instead I felt like I’d been given an ultimatum.
We ended the call shortly after that with him telling me to think about it carefully and me promising I would. I powered down my laptop and sat for a moment in shock.
This was dreadful; I wasn’t up to thinking about a new career at the moment, I was just about coping with the one I’d got. Or maybe I wasn’t even doing that.
Your current behaviour hasn’t gone unnoticed …
I reached automatically for my phone to call Laura and tell her what had happened before remembering. Not only had I alienated two of my closest friends today, on top of that it seemed I was in danger of losing my job.
‘What a mess, Scamp,’ I groaned, smoothing the fur back from his face.
His anxious expression reminded me of the look Laura had given me just before I’d turned my back on her and stormed off.
Poor Laura, I’d treated her terribly; I was consumed with shame. I was envious, plain and simple. Her life was sailing full steam ahead on a sea of love while mine was marooned on misery island and rather than be pleased for her like a true friend would have been, I’d shouted and stomped off in a huff.
‘Right,’ I said, purposefully, picking up the phone yet again. ‘I’m ringing her. This situation has gone on long enough.’
Before I’d even had a chance to scroll to her number, Scamp began to bark. He leapt up from the sofa and onto his look-out chair. The curtains were drawn against the dark evening, so he couldn’t see out and he did an impatient dance until I opened them for him. But other than the headlights of a passing car, I couldn’t see anything.
‘Who’s there, Scamp? What did you hear?’
The dog jumped down and went to the door, his tail circling enthusiastically just as the doorbell rang.
I went out into the hall and grabbed hold of Scamp’s collar before opening the door. A sharp gust of cold air greeted me, as did one of my favourite people in the world: Hamish.
My heart pattered nervously while I tried to gauge his mood.
Scamp strained to get to him, almost dragging my arm out of its socket. I let him go and he launched himself at Hamish’s legs.
‘I come in peace.’ Hamish thrust out a bunch of black-eyed pink and purple anemones and eyed me cautiously.
‘Thank you. They’re gorgeous,’ I said staring at the flowers awkwardly. Scamp sniffed the air hopefully.
Hamish scratched behind Scamp’s ears and then pulled a leathery-looking chew from his pocket. ‘And I believe you like these?’
Scamp sat down in a flash, managing to be as still as a statue and yet quiver with anticipation at the same time. We both laughed and some of the tension dissipated.
What would I do without that dog, I thought, with a stab of love: he could diffuse a sticky situation, simply by being there. He kept his eyes trained on Hamish until the treat was his and then padded off to enjoy it in private.
‘I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but may I come in?’ Hamish, hunched up in a ski jacket, blew on his hands, reminding me that he was still standing out in the cold.
‘Of course.’ I stood back to let him pass.
He kissed my cheek as he drew level with me. ‘I knew bribing you with flowers was a good idea.’
‘Oh, Hamish. You’d have been welcome anyway.’ I dropped my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms tightly around me. ‘I’m so ashamed of myself, I’ve behaved appallingly today. I’m happy for you and Laura really. It was just a shock.’
Hamish peered at my face. ‘Do you mean that?’
I nodded. ‘I think you’ll make a great couple. I’m so sorry.’
I really meant it. They were well suited: both kind, loyal, hard-working and good fun. I wondered why it had never occurred to me before.
‘No apology necessary,’ he said. ‘Laura can’t forgive herself for letting our news ruin your spa day.’
A rush of shame flooded through me.
‘I was just about to ring her when you called,’ I said. ‘Because I do need to apologise. She didn’t ruin the day. I did.’
Hamish ran a hand through his thick mop of red hair. ‘Laura and I don’t come out of this well either. We’re not proud of keeping our relationship secret from you. In hindsight, perhaps we should have involved you right from the very beginning. Truth is, we felt guilty that Freddie’s funeral led to something so wonderful.’
I nodded slowly, appreciating how difficult it had been to tell me anything recently. There was so much about my brother’s death that didn’t make sense. I had questions that I’d probably never get answers to. What he’d done that night was so out of character that I didn’t think I’d ever understand what had been going through his mind. Sometimes it made me angry, at others I was simply heartbroken. But now Hamish and Laura had found love through him and while it wouldn’t mend my heart, it certainly helped.
‘You know something?’ I said with a watery smile. ‘This is the first positive thing that has come out of losing him, so I’m going to celebrate it. Come here.’
I hugged him again, this man who’d become like a surrogate big brother to me. Not just since last summer but ever since Freddie had first introduced us after meeting Hamish at uni.
‘I’ve never loved anyone like I love her,’ he said now with a goofy grin.
‘You’d better look after her,’ I warned, tapping a finger to his chest. ‘Or you’ll have me to answer to.’
Just then Scamp pushed his bony head between us and breathed his hot chew-flavoured breath up at Hamish.
‘And him,’ I added.
‘I promise,’ he said, pressing a fierce kiss to my forehead. ‘So are we good?’
I nodded and sent up a silent thank you to the powers-that-be for the gift of Hamish McNamee in my life.
‘Thank heavens for that,’ he said with evident relief. ‘Because Laura’s in the car. I was sent ahead as the peace envoy. If I’d got short shrift we were …’
I didn’t hang around to hear the rest. I handed him the anemones and fled from the house.
My best friend was here and I couldn’t wait to make it up to her.
Chapter Four
I ran out onto the pavement in the dark and looked left and right, searching the line of parked cars along Pineapple Road until I found Hamish’s. Laura was already out of the car by the time I’d reached it, her worried face lit by the orangey glow of the street lamps.
‘Friends?’ she asked softly.
‘Always.’ I threw my arms around her neck and drew her close. ‘Forgiven?’
‘Always,’ she replied.
And we both sighed with relief.
My spirits lifted. Sometimes things could be that simple. We headed back, pausing to collect Scamp who’d gone to sniff his old front door. In the kitchen, Hamish had put the flowers in the sink in water and was making tea. Laura went straight to him, touching the nape of his neck tenderly and then pulled me into their orbit for a group hug.
I pushed down the thought that from now on I’d be the third wheel in this relationship and concentrated on the happiness that was radiating from them both.