She was a natural beauty, red hair that seemed to billow out in every direction if she didn’t keep it neat. She had delicate facial features that reminded Wayne of a porcelain doll, and she had a naturally curvy figure.
Today she had removed her shoes to reveal her pink toes as they sank in the sand. After their kiss, Wayne wanted to steal another.
He didn’t want to rush things, somehow he knew that most men in her past only had the wrong intentions. He tried to make it clear; he was the right one. The fact that she loved him all these years, even from afar, was like a flame burning in the background, reminding him of what could be between them if they both chose to take a chance.
For now, he would just be content to spend time with her. They lived far apart, and when the summer ended, who knew what was to be of autumn, so it was best to just live in the moment for now.
“So why do you think you wouldn’t make a good mother?”
Her frown told him he asked the wrong question. “I don’t know. My whole life I have wanted to be a mother, even as a young child I loved mothering my stuffed animals.” She threw him a glance of anger which confused him, but he kept quiet. “Let’s face it Wayne, I am not exactly the most stable and reliable woman on the planet. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love taking my nieces shopping or playing with your Bonnie, but would I really be a good mother? Do I have what it takes to be a mother?”
He could see the mist in her eyes, which he could never recall seeing. Self-doubt was obviously rearing it’s ugly head as she was walking through unchartered waters. While he didn’t understand it’s nature, being a man and a long-time father, he understands the fear. “I know that you have never been a mother before and you’re afraid, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“This from the man who is already a father, twice.” He studied her face as she played with the sand beside them.
“Is that a note of jealously I detect.”
He was surprised when she suddenly stood up and tossed on her shoes. “So what if I am Wayne. Every person I have ever known has managed to make their dreams come true. Find love, become a parent, be happy. I, I am always the recipient of everything I don’t want. All I ever wanted I life was to find love, marry and be happy. Look at me now, well into my forties, never even had a serious relationship, let alone marriage. Kids, well forget that Jasmin, that’s not for you.”
As she stormed off to put her helmet on, he noticed the tears falling from her cheeks. He wasn’t normally a man that fell prey to a woman’s crying since most did it for attention, but somehow, he knew this touched a nerve with her. She wasn’t the kind of woman to cry at the drop of a hat.
Because of this he took it seriously and hurried along to get her home. Gone was the warm fuzzy feeling they had just share together, replaced with frustration and doubt. By the time they got back to the house the silence was deadening between them. When he reached out to kiss her, she turned her cheek to him leaving him wondering if he had done something wrong.
11
Jasmin
The day with Wayne had flown by for Jasmin all too quickly and somehow ended with a bang, and not a good one. When he departed, she felt sad and frustrated but not at him. She hadn’t meant to take her feelings out on him but somehow, he just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
She tried sitting herself down by the waters edge to clear her mind and figure out what was going on. Nothing surfaced so she tossed her disgust away to the wind. Seconds later she received a text that made her smile. Wayne told her how much he had enjoyed spending the day with her. How he looked forward to spending time with her again. He wished her sweet dreams and blew her an emoji kiss over text, telling her whatever was bothering her he would be around to help.
Feeling like a school girl again, she returned the kiss with a hug and heart emoji that followed. She spent the rest of the evening getting ready for bed and catching up with her sister, her insides feeling warm and fuzzy, even though the whole application process had her nerves on edge. Would they discover the few years she spent out of the country just traveling? What would they think if they did?
The morning came, and she was still feeling fuzzy and happy on the inside. It was unfamiliar to her since most of her life, that feeling had to come from some bottomless pit of happiness stores she always seemed to have. It startled her because she didn’t want to get too attached to a man that she had no future with.
Despite that, it was a nice change of pace to have someone make you feel good for no reason except just being with you. That feeling overrode her fears making her quickly forget everything else.
As she floated from the bedroom to shower and to the kitchen, her sister caught wind of this. "What is heavenly creation are you beaming about Jas?"
"Oh, nothing."
"Nothing my behind, your acting like a teenager again. Well, let me rephrase that, your acting like the teenager which you never did. What gives, if you don't tell me, I am liable to take one of those wet dogs of yours and let them sleep on your bed."
Jasmin glanced over to find all three dogs were soaked, obviously from a frolic in the water. "Oh, and like that has never happened to me, dear sister, nothing new there." She parked herself in a chair and sipped the coffee her sister handed her.
Her sister, not one to relent, stood leaning against the counter, spatula in hand, and waited.
Smiling but sighing, she decided to give sway. "I just had a wonderful day yesterday with Wayne."
"Well, if anyone deserves to be happy, dear, it's you. I have watched you all these years plaster on a happy smile for us all, knowing full well that you weren't happy yourself."
"I was happy for each of you, and that was enough."
She burst out laughing when her sister rolled her eyes to heaven. "Now, let's not start being a martyr this late in life, Jas, shall we?"
“No, are you kidding, I could never be that way, too selfish for that.”
“Actually, I am more selfish than you are. You are just more vocal about your wants, whereas I keep them a secret and expect everyone to know what they are."
Jasmin couldn’t argue with that. “Do you remember the one Christmas when you wanted a bunny rabbit. You never told anyone but me, yet you went around dropping hints to mom and dad, and the rest of the family.”
“I do.” Miranda turned back to the sausage she was cooking and continued.
"You were so heartbroken you didn't get it and so surprised when everyone informed you that if you had wanted it so badly, you should have asked."
"Ugh, do you know how many Christmases I suffered like that. I would stand in a store eyeing everything I wanted, but I would never write a letter to Santa or a list for mom and dad. It was like I expected everyone to have mental telepathy all the time."
Jasmin knew her own flaws as well as she knew her sisters. She was always so bold that if she wanted something as a kid, she always spoke up and told everyone who would listen. This most often ended up with everyone giving way to just shut her up, not because they genuinely wanted to give it.
As an adult who never really depended on anyone, she always made sure to treat herself well. She made sure to take care of her needs, and some of her want regularly. She also liked to spend a lot of time making sure that everyone else in her community received the necessary things.