“Just to be alone right now,” I said weakly. I hoped that he would listen to my words, but he showed no signs of leaving my side.
“I'll be right inside making some tea,” Gus said as he made his way into the house. I breathed a sigh of relief as he started moving around in the kitchen. I was glad that he was staying close by just in case I needed him.
Taking a deep breath and grabbing my shaking hand, “We need to talk,” Jax said firmly but quietly.
“It’s about time!” Gus’ voice rang out with a chuckle from the kitchen as he continued to busy himself making tea.
Chapter Fifteen
“You’re cold. Let me help you with this,” Jax said with a gentler tone to his voice as he spread my favorite blanket across my body. The familiar warmth enveloped like a parka on a snowy day. Thankful for the warmth, I pulled the blanket closer around my body.
Looking up at Jax, “Thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say to this man. I didn’t want to ruin the moment and say something stupid that would cause him to hate me. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I wanted him in my life.
Taking a deep breath and looking up toward the clouds in the bright blue sky, “You were right.” The words hurt even more than the last time they fell from his lips and I didn’t know how much more I could take.
“What did I ever do to you?” I asked, not knowing where the courage to stand up for myself came from. Looking at Jax, I could tell that there was a lot running through his mind.
“Nothing Autumn. You did nothing to me.”
“Then why do you hate me so much?” Gus suddenly stopped moving around the kitchen and I knew that he was waiting for Jax’s answer just as much as I was.
Taking another deep breath and then gazing into my eyes, “It’s not you that I hate.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I felt something that I didn’t think that I would ever feel again the first time that I saw you in the airport with my sister.” Not taking his eyes off mine, Jax shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Autumn, I fell in love that day.” His confession stole my breath away as I replayed his words in my head. He was in love with me!
“I knew it!” Gus cried out from the kitchen. I could hear the happiness in his voice and couldn’t help the smile that spread across my own face because of an old man’s happiness. Sticking his head out the door and looking between Jax and me, “I’m sorry! Forget I am even here.” Ducking back into the house just as quickly as he appeared, “It’s about time!”
Focusing my attention back to Jax, I waited with bated breath for him to continue. Thankfully, he didn’t make me wait long at all. “I noticed you the moment you walked toward the baggage claim area. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I didn’t even notice Skyye until she ran up to me.”
“Then why have you been so cold to me?” I interrupted. My hand instantly flew up to my mouth to stop any more words from coming out. I wanted him to continue talking and didn’t want to mess up this moment between us.
“No. You are so right,” Jax admitted. Looking back toward the sky, “Do you see that puppy in the clouds?” Following his gaze up to the sky, I saw exactly what he was looking at. A cloud in the shape of a puppy. I let my tired eyes fall closed as the sun shined down on me and a slight breeze blew my already messy hair around my head. I gripped the blanket that was spread across me to shield my failing body from the cool air. “That first time I saw you, an image of you chasing a puppy and a little boy who looked just like you flashed through my mind. I didn’t even know your name, but my heart claimed you as mine.”
Snapping my eyes open and staring at the man who had stolen my heart, I felt my head slightly tilt to the side as I processed the words that just came out of his mouth. “I think I felt it too.” The words were so quiet, I barely heard them with my own ears.
Ignoring my declaration, “When I realized that you were the guest that I was sent to pick up, I realized that there was not a chance in hell that you could possibly feel the same way about me. Then we arrived here and discovered that you were Gus’ long-lost sick granddaughter my anger took over,” he continued. The words flowed from his mouth like a fine wine that I couldn’t get enough of.
“Why were you angry?” I interrupted, without thinking.
“Because it felt like you were my punishment for the things that happened while I was serving in Iraq. I was forced to do a lot of things that I regret and still have nightmares over.” The words continued to pour out of Jax like a faucet left running. He was opening up to me and showing me the man that was underneath the gruff exterior. Opening my mouth to say something and instantly closing it, I waited for Jax to continue. I could see the words forming and I wanted to hear everything that he was willing to share with me.
“Tell her everything!” Gus called out from inside the house. The anticipation in his voice reminded me of how excited I used to get waiting for Santa to come and leave my gifts underneath the tree when I was a little girl.
“Her name was Adela and I had met her my very first day in Iraq. She was from the village that my unit was sent to protect. She had the most unique olive colored skin and the brightest green eyes that I had ever seen. She brought me water while I was on duty that first day in the desert.” Jax’s eyes fell closed as he opened up to me about his past.
*****
“I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine losing the woman that you loved and your unborn child,” I said as I wiped the tears from my eyes. Jax had finally let me get a glimpse into the man that he was and now is. My heart broke for all the pain that he was forced to suffer through.
“I don’t want you feeling sorry for me,” he said as he gently pulled my hand from underneath the blanket and gently covered it with his own.
“I don’t feel sorry for you. I love you a little bit more,” I admitted as I laced my fingers with Jax’s and stared at his handsome face.
“You two really do look good together,” Gus said as he pushed the door open and joined us on the porch with a fresh pot of sweet tea. “It is about time.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I tore my gaze away from Jax and looked up at my grandfather.
“Exactly what I said. I don’t know why either of you tried to fight your feelings for each other.” Sitting down in the rocking chair next to me, Gus looked at Jax and me with a huge smile on his face. “Clara would be so happy to see you two together.”
Turning to look at the old man who had welcomed me into his home and heart, I felt a surge of pain run through my whole body. Dropping Jax’s hand, I took in as much air as I could and fought the tears that were threatening to flow down my cheeks. “I...I...I…,” I started to say.
Autumn!” Jax exclaimed as he jumped up from his seat. “What’s wrong?” The fear on his face was hard to look at. I never wanted to cause him any pain.
“I’m calling an ambulance!” Gus declared as he pushed himself up from his chair. Walking toward the door leading toward the house, Gus paused and grabbed his chest. Looking at me with panic in his deep chocolate brown eyes, he collapsed on the wooden porch.