A sick knot had formed in his stomach as Trey pointed out the obvious. Really, it had been forming since the beginning. Now it lay heavy, pressing against his lungs, making it hard to breathe. Then Alun smiled at something Quinn said and the knot eased a bit.
“I honestly don’t know—not for sure, because no one can be that certain when dealing with something as hard as this. All I can tell you is that I’m going to do my level best, then better than that.” He looked Trey square in the eye. “I want him. More, as crazy as it sounds, I think I love him. It was like ‘bam’ the moment I saw him at that soup kitchen. For the first time since you dumped me, I was actually glad. Being a free man means I get to have him.”
Trey eyed him for long seconds. “You talk a good game, Craig. Then again, you always did. Be sure you mean it,” he added before Craig could whip out a retort. “Alun doesn’t deserve anything less than a full commitment. The last thing he needs is to be heartbroken.”
Craig almost let out a hearty ‘fuck you’. Instead, taking his friend’s warning for the good that was intended, he simply said, “I won’t let that happen. Plus, he’s stronger than you or anyone else thinks.”
“You’re right. The fact that he’s still alive is proof of that. A weak man wouldn’t have survived what he did.” Trey paused then grinned broadly.
“What?”
“You haven’t met Merlin.”
“Obviously. Rescuing him is one of the goals of this trip. It’s tearing Alun up, too. I’ve promised him we’ll get his boy out safely. Why do you think it’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing. I mean, he’s clearly showing more maturity and loyalty than I would have expected. Still, no one changes that much that quickly. You’re going to enjoy being his stepdaddy, I’m sure.”
Okay, so this was the part of his making-Alun-mine plan that gave his nerves the most work-out. “It’ll be fine. I can handle one teenage boy.” He frowned. “He is a teenager, right?”
“Ah, sort of.” Trey scratched the back of his head and jutted his chin toward Demi, who was helping with the packing. “When I first met these people, my fiancé was a major pain in my ass—always flirting, testing my sense of decency. He was off limits because he was just a kid. Then it all changed. It happened so fast. He grew up within the space of one breath and another. Their physiology is different. Merlin isn’t as young as you might think. Regardless, he’s one annoying little fucker. If I were you, I’d think military school. I’ll leave it at that.”
“Thanks a lot, dude.”
Their discussion was cut short by a commotion at the far end of the room. Val, Christos, Malcolm and one other man named Claude, who was always so quiet that Craig mostly forgot he existed, trooped in on V formation, flanking the shackled prisoner Petru. The guy was dressed like everyone else who was going, but with unkempt hair that put Craig in mind of Albert Einstein. With his cold eyes, the guy had Craig thinking of him as G.I. Jararacussu, a type of deadly viper who he’d run into down in South America during a particularly unpleasant tour of duty. This was not someone to trust. If it were up to him, they’d toss the dude out somewhere over the Atlantic. With Merlin on the inside, what do they need this jerk-off for, anyway?
Petru rattled his chains. “Really, is this necessary? When are you going to trust me?”
“Never,” came the chorus of replies from his escorts.
Alex appeared from behind one of the vans they were loading. He got right in Petru’s face. “One word, one twitch of your pinkie that I don’t like and this will be a one-way trip for you. Understand?”
Petru didn’t so much as flinch. “Yes.” Alex made a motion, and the others hustled Petru into one of the vans and strapped him into the second seat.
Once that was done, everyone picked up speed packing and loading. Trey left Craig alone, thank God, although he surprised him with a manly hug and a thump on the back before leaving. “Take care of yourself, Craig. Stay frosty out there, and try not to come back in a body bag, yeah?”
Appreciating the concern, he gave his old friend and former lover a firm nod. “I will return in one piece and under my own speed. Count on it.”
With Trey’s retreating back in his line of sight, he said a silent prayer that he would make good on that promise—for Trey’s sake, but also for his family and yes, Alun, as well. Then he proceeded to make his choices of personal weapons quickly. He strapped two handguns on and packed the rest. Catching sight of Alun dragging a trunk to one of the vans, he raced over to help.
“I’ve got it,” he said, hoisting one end up by its straps. “Man, what do you have in here?”
Alun looked at the floor as he picked up his side. “Mostly food and blankets. Some water.”
“Really? I guess it’s the jugs, then, that I’m feeling.” He frowned. “I thought all of those kinds of things went in first.”
“Yes, mostly. Emil, Jase and Damien handled it, but Alex did say we should all bring whatever we thought we’d need. The plane and the helicopters hold a lot of weight, and you never know what might come in handy. What if we crash in the desert, like?”
Craig hefted it up to the edge of the van and helped Alun do the same with his part. “Yeah, I guess that’s a possibility—a really shitty one, especially if it happens after we’ve succeeded in rescuing the others. Syria is not a place to linger.”
Alun got into the van to push the trunk farther back. “Have you ever been there?”
“No.” Thank God, he’d served his time before that tour of duty had come up. He’d had his fill of desert warfare—of any warfare, frankly. Yet, here he was going in for what he hoped was the last time. Nothing for it. If he sat this one out, he’d regret it for the rest of his life, even though he held a nagging worry that this wasn’t truly going to be the end of it.
Alun jumped down to the garage floor again. He looked at him with solemn eyes. “But you’ve been to similar places, done this very thing before?”
“Yeah. I was a soldier. It’s what we do.”
“You’ll be careful, though.”
“I always am.”
“Good.” A split second later, he was in Craig’s arms. “I’ve never fought, and I’m not scared, not for myself.” He craned his neck to stare Craig in the eyes. “We might not get another chance to speak alone. I just want you to know that I want you, as well as Merlin, to come out of that dreadful place in one piece.”
Craig ran his hand down Alun’s head, tugging gently, playfully on his tight braid. “That is definitely the plan. I expect you to be equally careful. When I race my ass back to those helos, I better see your smiling face.”
“I’ll do my best, but I don’t smile very much.”
“Oh, really? Now, my other mission is to change that.” He was rewarded with a shy grin. “See? Success already. That was easy.”
“Let’s hope the other one is, as well.”
“Come on, people.” Alex’s voice boomed across the room. “Let’s go.”
Reluctantly, Craig let go of Alun—only enough, however, to clasp his hand. “Do you mind?” he asked.