He tried to relax, to not fight the invasion. It only made matters worse and he knew that was what the monster who owned him wanted. Not that he needed an excuse to hurt him, but goading Alun into disobedience was a game that he often played. Alun knew what to do—stay down, breathe in and out and let the creature tire himself. He’d become good at surviving by burying his rage. This time, though, it was different. There was a reason for him to resist. Freedom lay just beyond his reach. He could almost see it out there, across the room, emerging from a dark corner. Something was taking shape. Someone. A warrior stepped forward, big and broad, with skin like coffee. He beckoned Alun, the force of his stare sending a wave of power and courage across the room.
Alun reached for it, reached for him, but his monstrous master held him down. Alun struggled to free himself. The man in the shadows nodded in encouragement. Alun could practically hear him saying, “You can do it.”
“No, I can’t. He’s too strong.”
“You can. Use the strength I know is inside you. Believe in yourself. I do.”
Alun thrashed and bucked. He wouldn’t let this keep happening. He trusted the shadow man, saw hope in his gaze, found bravery in his reassurance. But the more he struggled, the tighter the hold on him became. Now it was his arms and chest being pinned. His breath became trapped in his lungs. When he tried to scream, nothing came out.
“Easy, baby, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
Alun’s eyes popped open and he saw only muted lights and heard the whir of engines. He was in the plane, and those arms holding him on the couch were Craig’s. Without hesitation, he turned to bury his face against the man’s chest, shuddering with the tears that threatened to spill.
“It’s okay, just a dream. I’ve got him,” Craig said to someone else. “I’ve got him.”
To reinforce Craig’s words, Alun pressed closer to him, daring to tangle their legs to bring their bodies as tightly together as possible. Soft footsteps faded quickly. “Thank you,” he whispered. “It’s so embarrassing.”
“What? Having a nightmare? Don’t be silly. You’re on a plane headed into battle and all around you people are fucking like bunnies. I’d be surprised if it didn’t invade your dreams. I bet all of this triggers memories of what you went through.”
“Yes.” He didn’t add that it was seeing Craig in what would have otherwise been a familiar nightmare that had made him particularly agitated. Being complacent about his enslavement had been bad enough. Now, he saw what life could be, and he couldn’t simply endure anymore. He needed to fight. The question was, would he ever win?
Craig rubbed his hand in slow circles around Alun’s back. “What can I do to help you get back to sleep and rest easier?”
Alun shook his head then said, “This is nice.”
“Any time I was sick or scared, my mama or daddy would do this for me. It made me feel safe and loved. I want that for you.”
“It’s a terrible burden you’ve put on yourself. It may never work.”
“Let me worry about that.”
They lay in silence for long minutes. Alun focused on the comfort of Craig’s touch and listened to the steady beat of his heart. Slowly, his muscles eased and the residual anxiety from the nightmare did as well. When he shifted his position slightly, he bumped into something familiar. A hard length pressed into his abdomen. His breath caught and he instinctively moved away. Stupid of him—he should have expected this reaction after practically crawling into Craig’s skin.
Craig’s hold kept him from rolling off the bench. “Oh, sorry. Really. I wish that didn’t happen, but I’m, you know, only human. Please ignore it. In fact, let’s get you onto your back.”
The man was able to turn Alun with ease and with as little physical contact as possible. At no time did he feel confined and under the control of someone else. Craig’s ability to give him what he needed without causing any stress was a miracle for Alun. It was why, he supposed, that he was able to accept all this new and unusual attention without having a complete meltdown. He should have been bolting for another part of the plane, yet here he was, wiggling to make sure his side touched Craig’s front, notwithstanding that obvious object that had been used in the past to cause pain and terror.
“Honey, you need to stop getting that close to me. I truly can’t keep my dick under control.”
“It’s all right. I don’t mind.”
“Bullshit,” Craig said in a mild tone. “It has to bring back bad memories, and we’re trying to ease you back to sleep. You don’t need another nightmare, either.”
He turned his head. “I’m not lying. It’s really fine. A compliment, like.” To prove the truth of his words, he gave in to the sudden impulse to twist and press his palm against the ridge. He could tell it was long and broad. That didn’t bother him. He was used to that, and with Craig, it was something of interest.
The man sucked in a quick, hard breath and breathed it out again. “Damn, that is so not helping.”
Alun squeezed, delighted when this time, he made Craig grunt. “Give me a moment and it will.”
“Okay.” Craig took Alun’s hand firmly and moved it away, and at the same time, got him flat on his back again. “That’s not happening.”
Alun frowned. “You don’t think I know my own mind?”
“Let’s just say it’s too early in our relationship for me to accept that kind of help.”
“You would if I were one of those…what did you call them…randoms?”
“Yeah, but see? You’re not. I don’t want instant gratification. I’m in this relationship for the long haul. We take it slow. And at no time is this going to be about only my pleasure. You have to want the same in return.”
“Is that all you’re waiting for?” Taking Craig’s hand, he slid it down to his crotch. At some point in all this, Alun had felt those stirrings again. He wasn’t actually sure, though, until he had both their hands right over his fly, that he was indeed hard.
“Damn.” Craig’s exclamation was little more than an exhalation of breath. He didn’t remove his hand, though. Instead, he let it lie heavily over Alun’s erection. “This is for me?”
Alun blew out a quiet laugh. “Who else, then?”
“I-I don’t know. I guess I assumed it would be really hard for you to get aroused. You must have suppressed that part of you while you tried to survive.”
“Very true. It seems to have returned.”
Craig nestled closer. “And you do like men? I mean, you’re really attracted to me?”
“That was always true. Back, before, I had to try to ignore it. You could get hanged for buggery.” He pulled up a long-ago image of a boy from the village who he’d lusted for. “After I was captured, it seemed as if God was punishing me for my sinful thoughts.”
“It doesn’t work that way,” Craig was quick to say.
“Maybe not.” This was an idea that put him at odds with his religion. He knew that, but he also knew that men didn’t always know God’s mind. “If wanting you is wrong, well…I’ll have to live with that, because I don’t want to change how I feel. I’ve had enough of burying my feelings to meet others’ demands.”