I’m going to kick Brax’s ass for mentioning Sunday breakfast in front of her.
“Oh,” she says, the chipperness in her voice dies down.
I’m grateful when the exit for her place comes up. I turn off and we make the rest of the ride in silence. When I release her hand, she crosses her arms over her chest.
Pulling up in front of her place, I turn the car off. She turns to me and stares for a beat. Why do I feel like I should get out of the car and let her have it?
“Are you going to come in?”
“No, I told you, I have to work tonight.”
“Right, fine.”
With that, she jumps from the car and slams the door hard enough to rattle the glass. I throw my head back. I have to figure out a way to cut ties.
The problem is, I know I can be a dick. How do I break up with someone that was pregnant with my baby without coming off like a complete douchebag? I groan and want to kick my own ass for the millionth fucking time.
This is some John shit for sure. Fuck!
Chapter 7
Craziness
John
Mom pushes her hand through my hair as she sits a plate of muffins in front of me. I lift my head and look her in the eyes as I sit in her kitchen at the island. I can’t count how many times she’s done that exact gesture throughout my life.
“Ye look exhausted,” she says. “Talk to me. What’s on ye mind?”
“Nothing I want to talk about,” I mutter.
“But enough to keep you awake at night. Ye have circles under the eyes. What’s going on? Is it that lass ye brought here? Something’s off about her.
“Don’t make me have to drag her ass up and down this street. She has crazy eyes, but I’ll show her what crazy really is, I will.”
I chuckle. “Relax, Mom. I don’t need you kicking anyone’s ass… again.”
She sniffs. “I’d do it again. No mother is going to accuse me boys of something they didn’t do. Ye and Wyatt were right under me nose all day.”
I release a deep laugh as the memories surface. One of the moms on the block tried to blame me and Wyatt for beating up her son. We’d both had some stomach bug or some shit and hadn’t been out all day. Mom was fine until Mrs. Delaney threatened to call the cops.
Mom whipped her ass back to her house. “Now if one of me boys had touched yers that’s what it would have looked like,” she snarled once she beat her to her front door. “Now ye have a reason to call the cops.”
“I think that’s when everyone on the block figured out our entire family is crazy.” I laugh and wipe at the tears. “Dad stood on the porch and watched until Mr. Delaney stepped out like he was going to help his wife. I’ve never seen Dad move faster in my life.”
“You damn right. Joe has never failed me,” she says with a smile.
I return the smile. “Yeah, you and Dad have always had each other’s back.”
“We had to work for it.”
I’ve always admired that about my parents. Family is important to them, but their relationship has always been something to marvel. My parents can finish each other’s thoughts.
I remember when I was little and I’d get in trouble, they would mirror each other’s expressions. Even when they don’t agree on something, they show a united front. Yet as I got older, I watched my parents closer and I could see the submissive side of my mother.
I also recognized a lot of myself in my father. Not that I want to think about my parents in the bedroom, but I’ve observed Dad enough to know he has explored his dominant side and my mother is no stranger to submission.
Well, that and I may or may not have learned about the life from getting into Dad’s things. If only my brothers knew where those videos used to come from. I’ve been holding that one in for years.
Still, I envy dad. I can’t knock my parents for any of it. Maybe that’s what’s kept them going strong for so long. The balance the life brings.
That’s what I want.
“Ye want to know what makes it work?” Mom says, bringing me back to the room.
I look into her hazel eyes. They have softened. Instantly, I know she has seen right through me.
She cups my face and continues. “Your father and I bumped heads like bulls in the beginning. We had to work our way to balance, but the one thing we did know… we were made for each other.”
“Did you knew that from the beginning?”
“Aye, we did. I gave him shit, I did, but I knew from the time I looked into his eyes, I was his. I’m pretty sure it was the same for him. It’s the same as the way you know that lass isn’t yours,” she says with a knowing look.
I blow out a breath. She’s right. I’ve never felt anything real for Missy. Not anything that would make me want to change the nature of our relationship.
“Everything has gotten complicated between us. It’s not the clear, clean-cut relationship I normally have. Usually, I set the rules and that’s what we play by. Not this time,” I admit.
“Well, I’ll tell ye the first problem. Yer playing. What’s the meaning of the word? Go on look it up.”
I pull my phone out and pull up the definition to read aloud. “To engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.”
“Aye, let that sink in. Anything you play at you are not serious about. Yer twenty-eight, John. It’s time to start thinking about where ye want to be in a year or two. Will playing be enough for ye?” she asks and tilts her head to the side.
“I don’t know,” I murmur.
I’ve often thought about my lifestyle. Do I want to keep bouncing from Sub to Sub? I’ve had a few that I wouldn’t have mind seeing if I could enter longer arrangements with, but I still can’t say I’ve been in love with any of them.
Mom covers my hand with hers. I look into her eyes as she gives me a warm smile. It hits me hard that someday I want what my father has. Someone to bear my children and help me to raise them with love.
“When you find the right one, she will understand you enough to allow you to be the kink little fucker you are and be everything else that you need. Until then, kick that Marsha to the side.” She frowns at the end of her statement.
I laugh. “It’s Missy.”
“Do I look like I give even the wee bit of a fuck?”
I bark out more laughter. “No, Mom you don’t.”
“Now eat ye muffins before Braxton shows up and eats them all. He’s a human garbage disposal.”
I snort and shake my head. I love my mother. I don’t know what we’d do without her.
Roni
“Hey, you okay in there?”
I suck my busted bottom lip into my mouth. I don’t know how many days have gone by since I’ve been down here. I haven’t eaten in however many days that might be.
I try to stifle my cries. I think I’m losing my mind. I still can’t remember anything and the anxiety of not knowing what happened to Raven and Natasha is weighing on me along with the anticipation of what they plan for me next.
“Hey, you okay?” The voice comes again. It’s male, but young, not quite a child, but not a man either.