I look at Torque, eyes filled with a new resolve, and give him a nod. We’ll do this, we just have to be smart. We’ll find her.
“All right. I’m in. We need to figure out where to start.”
“Cool. For now, we train and learn. Something we learn is bound to help us, right?”
“That’s what we have to hope for.”
He lifts the plate of bacon from his tray and pushes it toward me. “That means you need to get better. Eat up. You’ll need your strength. They kick our asses in those sessions,” he says with a smile.
“Okay, kid. Okay.”
John
I woke up with a gasp. It’s been the same every night for the last week. The same brown eyes and raspy voice.
Each time she’s reaching out for me to help, but I’m too far away. Right out of reach. I’ve tried hard to get her out of my head.
The dreams show her with all the details I remember and more. The bruises on her torso, her torn shirt, and the haunted look in her eyes. She wasn’t the only one that looked as if they’d been abused, but she’s the one I can’t get off my mind.
“Fuck,” I huff and push a hand through my sweaty hair.
I think to call Wyatt, but I’m sure he’s either sleeping or wrapped up in Nellie. Besides, they’re in Settle. Noah is next to come to mind.
Same with him, he has Bean now. He’s probably asleep or has his mouth full. That leaves one other option.
It’s the middle of the night, but I know nine times out of ten Dad is up. He’s thinking about a case or lifting weights in the garage, thinking up ways to cover the schedule. Dad breathes Black and Lock.
I pick up my phone and shoot him a text. It only takes a second for my phone to ring. I smile.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Aye, my lad. What can I do for ye?”
Hearing his accent, I know he was asleep. I curse and chide myself for texting. “Shit, you were sleeping.”
“No. Dozing, not sleeping.”
“It can wait. I’ll call you in the morning.”
He sighs. “John, don’t you hang up this phone. You never bother me unless you need something. I’m your father. I’ll welcome you to my grave to talk to me as long as you like. Come, tell the old man what you need.”
I chuckle. “You’re not old.”
“Bullshit and you’re stalling.”
I blow out a breath and sit up in the bed to draw my knees into my chest. I have so much going on in my head. Funny, but Missy isn’t at the forefront the way she was before I left. Not that she hasn’t been calling and texting since I got back.
“I’ve been wondering about the ones that chose to work for Nate. You know, how they’re adjusting.”
“Ah, the lass with the busted ribs.”
“How did you know?”
“Wyatt and Nate debriefed me on everything. She’s healing you know. They were broken and already healing when you found her.”
“Yeah, I heard as much. Dad, I’ve never seen anything so fucked up in my life and I’ve seen some shit. She was so shattered, but she had so much fight left in her. They were all broken.
“There was this one boy, he seemed to watch her. Almost like he was ready to protect her from us if he had too. He was a kid, but I could see the fear and protectiveness in his eyes,” I say as I relive that night in my head.
“Nate has said that we’re welcome to drop in to see how things are going. I think he was encouraging it.”
“You don’t think I’ll be a disruption to the process?”
Dad chuckles. “You mean, do I think the girl will be distracted by your presence? No, I think you may be a familiar face she trusts and needs to see. She’s not training with the others yet and that has to be a little difficult for her.”
I sit, silently thinking it over. I could pop in and see how the program is going. Maybe I can help with the training too.
“I might go out.”
He laughs tiredly. “Do what your heart leads you to do. I’ll cover for you here.”
“Thanks, Dad. Nothing’s written in stone. I’ll think about it.”
“Aye, I know ye will. Goodnight, John.”
“Goodnight, Dad.”
Chapter 15
New York Bound
John
I end my shower feeling like this morning has been a waste. Usually, I can get in a workout and clear my head. Not today, the dream from last night has lingered in my mind and I can’t focus on anything else. A trip to New York doesn’t sound so bad.
I can pop in and pop back out once I put my mind at ease. I’m sure I’ll be able to forget about those eyes and the woman they belong to after I reassure myself that she’s fine. My phone rings as I war with the decision.
“Hello,” I answer the phone without looking at it, tucking it between my head and shoulder as I wrap a towel around my waist and head into my bedroom from the bathroom.
I regret it instantly. “I feel like you’re avoiding me,” Missy says.
“How can I be avoiding you when we’ve talked almost every day since I’ve returned?”
“But you won’t come by and you keep telling me you’re too busy for me to come to your place.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Missy, taking a break for you to get yourself together and for us both to process and grieve doesn’t work like this,” I say slowly, hoping for once she gets what both I and her therapist have been trying to tell her.
“So, we can’t even be friends?”
“You’re seriously trying to sell me that you only want to be friends?”
Every time she’s around me, she tries to cling to me. That’s not the nature of our relationship, but she insists on trying to push it there. I’m not having it; she knows this and yet it never fails.
“I’m not trying to sell you anything. It’s the truth.”
“It’s unhealthy. Neither of us are getting to work through this properly. Give it some time, Missy. Allow us both time to figure out how we feel,” I say with as much patience as I have left.
“Okay, I won’t call as much, but how about we go for coffee? We can catch up later today?” she says happily as if nothing I’ve said has gotten through to her.
I bite my fist. This has gotten way out of hand. I need to clear my head because I’m at my breaking point.
“I won’t be in town later today. I’m actually getting ready to fly out.” As I say the words, I walk into my closet and retrieve my travel bag.
I need to get away. I’m going to take Dad’s advice and head to New York. I need a break from everything here in California. I can still work from there. All of my cases involve me and my laptop for now.
“You’re leaving again? Will you not be able to contact anyone again?”
I think to tell her a lie, but why should I? I honestly don’t have to tell her anything and damn sure don’t have to lie. I’m over it.
“I’ll have my phone, but I’d prefer if you didn’t call. I’ll check in with you in a few days or something.”