“If I could kill them all, I would. The thought of anyone touching you against your will… anyone touching you period makes me see red, but I would never blame or shame you for something out of your control,” he says.
“They never touched me. I was one of the virgins. They weren’t allowed to touch us, not like that,” I say before I can trap the words inside.
He narrows his eyes for the briefest second before pushing off the door behind me and stepping back. I feel his loss in my belly as if someone stole from my womb. I want to reach out and pull him back to me.
“You just proved me right. I’m not for you, baby. Not at all,” he says, kissing my forehead and turning to walk down the hall.
I stand staring after him, fighting back the urge to release angry tears. The sting of rejection brings me back to reality. I don’t need John in my bed. I need to focus on learning how to find Natasha.
Don’t ever forget that again.
I turn and head into my room. Flipping on the light, I find Torque sitting on my bed. He has a laptop in his lap as he looks at me with his big pretty eyes.
“What are you doing in here?”
“I wanted to show you what I learned today. I think I found a way to start searching for Natasha,” he replies.
I sigh. Exactly, this is what I should be focused on. Unfastening and kicking my shoes off, I stroll to the bed and sit beside him.
Maybe this is what I need tonight. A distraction from that sexy ass dance and the man that accompanied it. I take a pause.
The man that was able to read my thoughts as if he’s known me for years. Now that I think about it, I know this is for the best. I can’t afford to get attached to anyone here and a man that can read me like a book is way more than an attachment.
Chapter 18
Call
John
“John, I understand that you want to help her acclimate, but the money… we don’t know anything about her. Handing her money and credit cards is a risk to everyone,” Nate says as he sits behind his desk in his office. “She’s already undermining my staff.”
“I’ll talk to her about that. I think she’s been rebellious based on the circumstances she’s come out of. Come on, Nate. She’s still a human. I only wanted to make sure she felt that way. I made sure she returned the cards.”
“By giving her almost a hundred grand in finances. I never would have approved that. That’s not what we agreed to. I can’t believe Paige didn’t come to me first,” he grumbles.
“I went to her husband. I told Bobby how much I wanted her to have. He approved it,” I reply.
“Yeah, I’ll be having a talk with him,” he mutters. “Do you understand the kinds of things we’ve been teaching her? She could track you right to your front door once you leave here.”
I shrug. “If she needs to, so be it.”
He narrows his eyes at me. I lift my hand up when he goes to retort. I already have a feeling I know what he’s going to say.
“Listen, I’m a big boy. I can handle her if she shows up on my doorstep. I’m more concerned with her having the need to. Maybe this isn’t for her and I shouldn’t have talked her into it. I had no idea she had no memory. We don’t know who she is. I don’t like it.”
He glares at me for a moment. “That’s a concern of mine as well. Hell, the last thing I want to do is send her on a mission and she runs into her past,” he says and frowns.
“Exactly.”
“Still, that has nothing to do with what you’ve done. I don’t like the idea of you giving her so much free reign. Fact is, we don’t know who she is and that’s dangerous for a lot of reasons.”
“Any solutions?”
“Yes, I’m placing her into mandatary therapy sessions, for starters. I want to see if anything comes up. By the way, thanks for finding all this out. We thought she was guarded because she didn’t trust us yet. This is a new ball game.”
“No problem. I’ll do anything I can to help. I’m not trying to make this harder on you guys. If you like, I’ll take sole responsibility for her.”
He sits back in his chair. “I can’t ask you to do that. We’ve taken this all on. We’ll handle it.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”
“Why?”
This time I narrow my eyes at him. The fact of the matter is, I don’t want to admit to him or myself why. Last night I almost said fuck it and entered that room with her. However, when she told me she was a virgin, I knew I needed to walk away.
I’m not for her. My tastes, my lifestyle—I wouldn’t corrupt her innocence with it after what she’s gone through. Then there’s the fact that I’ve never been in love and I wouldn’t want to drag her into my failure to connect with women in that way.
But you’ve already connected with her.
“I want to help her. Did you see how badly she was beaten or how they starved her? Now on top of that to know she doesn’t remember her life before all of that. I want to help, simple as that,” I reply.
He tilts his head as he examines me more closely. “But you only found out about her memory last night. You gave her the money and accounts before that.”
“When I see something that needs fixing, I fix it.”
He narrows his eyes. “Friend to friend, Black. I’m going to warn you to be careful with Roni. This could blow up in your face. Are you sure you want to take this on?”
“I’ll take full responsibility for her. If she doesn’t take to the program, I’ll be the one to figure out something else for her.”
He releases a whistle before sighing. My phone interrupts whatever he’s about to say next. When I pull it from my pocket, I see it’s my dad.
“Hey, Dad, what’s up?” I answer.
“Wyatt needs you in Seattle.”
I sit up straighter. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Nora. She’s not doing well. Wyatt doesn’t think she has much time left. He wants to marry Nellie before… he’s been planning the wedding for a week or so. I wanted to wait until he had things locked down before I bothered you. It’s time, he’s asking us to be there for him.”
“Say no more. Does he need anything? What else can I do?”
“I think he needs his family more than anything. This isn’t going to be easy for either of them. Your brother loves that lass with everything he is. Her hurt is his hurt and she’s going to be devastated. I talked to Steve before calling you.
“Nellie had no idea the cancer returned. This was all a shock to her when she and Wyatt arrived. She’s had, what? Three weeks to digest that she’s losing her mother,” Dad chokes out.
“Damn,” I say, and hang my head.
Mrs. Nora had always been so nice to us when we were younger. I was happy to see her and Steve marry. I almost missed the wedding because of school, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. I’d never seen Steve look so happy in my life.
“I’ll see ye soon, aye,” my father says, pulling me from my racing thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m on my way.”