“I don’t get a hello?”
I stiffen from his front pressed to my back. He wraps his arms around me, preventing me from swinging at the heavy bag. I hate that his arms bring me comfort. It’s a battle not to sink back into him.
Once he places his chin on top of my head, I lose the battle. However, I don’t show him that. I remain stiff as I absorb what I haven’t realized I’ve been missing. Instead of letting him know how I feel, I lash out with my words.
“You’ve been here several times, and not once did you say hello. I’m returning the favor.”
He releases a heavy sigh before moving to bury his face in my hair and inhaling. I grimace. I’m a sweaty mess. My hair has to stink of perspiration.
I wiggle a bit, but he only tightens his hold. “I didn’t want to distract you. The first time I came I saw how focused you were. You didn’t even notice me watching you.”
“What happened to needing to talk?” I say bitterly.
I spun to face him. Bad move, my belly tightens as soon as I look into his eyes. Once he smiles, I completely lose my thought for a second.
“We did and still do. That never changed.”
“Then what did?”
The words come out so harsh I have to take a step back from him to reel it in. He reaches for my taped hand. I should pull back, but my stupid brain won’t listen, craving his comfort more than my sanity.
“My brother’s mother-in-law passed away that morning you took off. I got the call as I was making plans to come after you,” he says somberly.
“Oh,” I reply, something about his brother’s sudden loss triggers an ache within me.
It’s almost like I know that feeling all too well. I knit brows. “I lost my mother at a young age. I think I went to live with my father after that.”
The words fall out of my mouth without thought. I don’t know why I share them with him, but it feels like I can. I look up into his eyes to find him watching me closely.
“Have you remembered where you’re from?”
“New York,” I blurt out and frown. “At least that’s where I lived when I was with my mom. I don’t know after that. I remember getting on a plane with… my dad? Yeah, the man in the dreams. He’s my dad.”
“That’s good, angel,” he says stroking my cheek.
I wrinkle my brows at the endearment, not really sure how I feel about it. “Did you handle whatever you needed to?”
He gives me a puzzled look at first, then realization lights his eyes. He rubs his forehead and shakes his head. “I’ve minimized the issue. It’s more complicated than I care to explain at the moment. I’d rather you talk to me about you.”
“What about me?”
“Whatever you want.” He closes the space between us. “Tell me what’s been on your mind. I miss talking to you. I’ve missed you.”
I stare at him for what feels like hours. My mind arguing my needs over my wants and desires. In the end, I start to spill drop by drop.
“The dreams are more frequent. They mix in with the torture and beatings.” As the words pass through my lips, the weight starts to rise a bit.
Well into the morning, I talk and he listens. Each word untwisting the feelings I have inside. It’s not quite the peace I need, but it’s a start.
Chapter 24
Be Honest
John
Without thinking, I cut off my car as I park in the garage of Black and Lock and dial the one person that can make me smile instantly after the crap day I’ve had. I rest my head back and close my eyes as the phone rings through the car.
“What do you want, John?” Roni sighs into the phone as she answers.
My lips turn up into the smile I was looking for. She’s such a brat and that voice. It brings a smile all of its own.
“Stop trying to act like you don’t want to hear my voice,” I reply as I grin. It’s clear in the sound of her words that she’s not as put out by my call as she’s trying to put on.
“I don’t. You’re only going to tell me to behave. Fuck that noise.”
I bark out a laugh. In the last year, the one thing that I’ve learned and love about Roni is that she has an amazing sense of humor. “Are you behaving?”
“Am I a toddler?”
“You’re a brat.”
“Whatever. Don’t you have some work to do? That’s the reason you said you had to leave, right? But here you are always on my phone.”
“Ouch, that hurts. I thought you’d be happy to hear from me. I know you miss me.”
“I miss you breaking me out of here. That’s about all.”
“Jasper said some of the others go out to a local bar. Why don’t you go with them?”
Silence greets me as I get out of the car and stroll across the parking lot to head upstairs. For a moment, I think I’ve lost her. Then I remember who I’m talking to. I chuckle.
“Okay, fine,” I say.
The sound of her moving around on the other end of the call comes through before she speaks, reminding me of the time difference. “The days seem longer when you’re not here,” she says.
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I mutter.
It’s been a long ass day for me. Starting with a call from Missy. She said she needed someone to talk to. Of course, me being me, I was there for her and listened for an hour.
It wasn’t like my calls with Roni. I can’t fall asleep at night without hearing her voice. We talk at all times of the night despite the time difference. If I don’t call, she curses me out. We talk about nothing most of the time and that’s fine with me. She could recite the alphabet and I’d be good to listen.
“Maybe I’ll kick someone’s ass to get you back here sooner,” she teases.
“Roni,” I groan, causing her to laugh.
It’s beautiful. She doesn’t do it often, but when she does it’s amazing. My stomach coils and I swear my cock swells enough to rip through my pants.
“I’ll behave.”
“You better,” I say with a smile.
I can almost hear her thinking on the other end as I stand outside the elevator. I know I’ll lose the call once I get inside, but I’m not ready to let her go. I lean against the wall and stare at my boots as I get lost in thought.
“You’ll be back soon though, right?” she says, pulling a grin from me. “I mean, I’m not rushing you. I… I want to ask you something when you come back.”
From the sound of her voice, I furrow my brows and straighten. “Ask me now.”
“No, I want to ask in person.”
I’m quiet for a few beats. She’s stubborn, if I push, she’ll shut down on me. With a nod to myself, I start to rearrange my schedule to find a way to get back to New York sooner.
“Hello?”
“I’m here. Listen, I’ll be there soon. I need to get upstairs and get some work done. I’ll text later when I get home.”
“John.”
“Yeah?”
She sighs. “I’m not your responsibility. You don’t have to check on me all the time. I like talking to you, but you have a life there, don’t you? You don’t—”