Chapter 58
Let Me Heal You
John
We’re sitting in the back of the Chevelle where I found Roni after I finally got our little girl to sleep. Roni has been like a hollow shell since we took off from that rooftop. It’s going to take time to get through to her and I haven’t had a second to breathe yet.
This has been a shit show. Half of my family will be splitting between my place and Wyatt’s since Mom, Noah, and Toby all had their places shot up. I guess I understand why Roni has been hiding out here.
“More damage control,” Roni murmurs for the first time in hours.
“LaSalle is a true friend. He sent Bobby in to help. Felix has been working with him to get shit done,” I reply.
I’m still fielding text messages from my contacts that are making this go away. I can’t put the phone down before it’s buzzing again. I’m grateful to Torque for the blackout text system he built just for our network. All of our communications are ghost.
“Do we need to go help?”
I kiss her head as she sits between my legs with her back to me. Tightening my embrace, I lend her my strength. “We’re right where we need to be. You ready to talk? No rush, I’m only asking.”
She fiddles with her phone a bit and then moves from my hold to turn the key in the ignition. The sound system I placed in the car as an enhancement comes to life. “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston fills the car.
Roni settles back between my legs and blows out a breath. “There’s one time I remember my mother and father together. My first and last memory of them as a couple. I can’t believe I can remember it now, it was so long ago and I had to be so small.”
She snorts, then continues. “My dad swayed my mother to this song. They laugh and danced together like something out of one of those movies.
“I think that was the last time they saw each other. They fought like cats and dogs that same night. My mother was never happy again after that. I can’t remember my father being happy after that either.”
“Do you remember where they are now?”
“Dead. My mother died when I was ten and my father…” She stifles a sob. “His death was the beginning of all of this. He had a sudden heart attack.”
I wrap my arms around her again and start to sway her to the music. “We don’t have to do this now,” I murmur against her shoulder.
“Yeah, we do. I need you to know what happened on that roof and why I’m about to become the epitome of death’s rage. Val was right, there were people who hurt me. People before those Russians. I wasn’t someone random like the others.”
“What are you saying?”
“My father was a powerful man. I believe all of this was because of his power. His death might have put a target on my back. I need to go see Misha. I think he has the missing pieces that I need.”
“Misha?” I say in surprise.
“Yeah, he once told me that we have common enemies. I don’t want to be right, but my gut is telling me I know where all this started. I need to be sure before I start knocking at doors.
“I think that’s why Misha’s so pissed about Torque. Misha knows something he’s not telling me, he wanted Torque to stop pushing.”
“But you knew Torque was up to something.”
“No, I knew he was taking a trip, that’s all. You were so angry with me this morning; you wouldn’t let me explain. I didn’t know what the trip was for or where. I told him to back off. I warned him.”
“But he ran face first into Misha instead.”
“Yeah, thank God it was Misha. I don’t know what I would have done if he went after someone else. He thinks he’s protecting me. I could have told him Misha isn’t my enemy, but his hardheaded ass ran off like he’s some freaking superman.”
“He’s lucky Misha called LaSalle instead of killing him.”
Roni stiffens for a moment. I move a hand to her shoulder to massage it and help her relax. “What? What is it?”
“Nothing. I… I… nothing.”
“Don’t worry about Torque, he’ll be fine. LaSalle reassured me he’s fine.”
She’s silent for a moment before she sighs. “I swear, John, I didn’t know. I warned Torque off. I told him not to follow anymore of the leads he thought he had and to stay out of it. I guess he thought Misha was threatening me. I didn’t want to get his hopes up, so I didn’t tell him about Misha’s promise to get me to Natasha.”
“Okay. You need to see Misha and he’s hell bent on seeing you. We need to collect Torque anyway. We’ll head out first thing in the morning. We’ll get you the answers you need. I promise.”
“John, if I’m right, you, Torque, and munchkin are the only family I have left.”
“You know that’s a lie, baby. Mom would kick your ass for it too.”
Roni snickers a little. “You know what’s crazy?”
“What’s that?”
She links our fingers together. “I know why I am the way I am now.”
“What do you mean?”
“My father was always distant and cold. I thought I had to be that way for him to want me around. I was always so afraid he’d leave me again.
“That he never wanted me in the first place. So, I had to be prefect for him to want me. To this day I don’t know why he left me behind and didn’t come back for me until my mother died.
“I don’t want to be this way with our baby—detached, cold, cautious. I never want her to feel the way I did with my father. Oh God, John, there were times I thought my mother hated me too. I think some part of her blamed me for losing my father.”
I free one hand and reach for her face to turn it up toward mine. “We are not your parents. I know how much you love that little girl in there. This is the first time you’ve been in the same house with her and you haven’t hovered over her or watched everyone around her like a hawk. That alone tells me how much you’re hurting right now.”
“I… I… when the doctor told me about the damage to my womb from my injuries and all the torture, John, I didn’t think she would make it.” Tears start to fall and her lips tremble. “She’s everything to me. Why wasn’t I everything to them?”
I kiss her lips. “I don’t know, baby. But you are everything to me. I love the two of you so much. I love you with everything I am.”
“Which is why you can’t do this with me. You need to be here for—”
“Did you bump your fucking head?” I seethe before I catch myself.
“No, but you must have talking to me like that.”
“Roni, you’re not doing this alone. We are going to handle this together. You’ve been around long enough to understand the type of man we’re dealing with when it comes to Misha.
“There’s no way I’m sending you into that fire without me. You need to go see Misha; we go to see Misha. You need to right this wrong; we right this wrong.”
Roni
I purse my lips. I should have known he wouldn’t see this my way. The look in his eyes tells me this is the one time my defiance isn’t going to fly. While some part of me wants to protest, I want him with me.