“I think it’s really important to her,” I say. But one thing I’ve figured out in the short time I’ve lived with her is that she’s very blunt.
“Well, sanitize your hands before you come in the house. I’m not catching some petri dish disgusto disease.” Her eyes roll to the back of her head and she does a full body shiver.
“You aren’t the one who has it tucked in their pocket.”
“Yeah, relax germaphobe.” Charlie steps in, another girl who isn’t afraid to share her opinions. Truth be told, it’s one of the things I like most about them.
Ava sticks her tongue out a Charlie and she laughs. “Anyway. He can’t be as bad as some of the dads in my group.” She frowns for a second before she continues. “One actually stripped off his t-shirt this afternoon and asked if I’d like to go for a dip with him.”
I laugh and Charlie looks at her as though she has three heads. “Seriously?” Charlie asks.
Ava nods. “Yep.”
“What did you say?” I ask, flipping the lights off in the cabin and shutting the door.
“I said that camp policy says I’m not allowed to be alone with little boys.” She fans herself. “But he does have a nice set of abs. He had that whole V thing going on.”
The three of us let out a tortured moan in unison because, hello—the V. Every girl knows the V is panty-scorching material. It makes smart girls do stupid things.
“And then he left?” Charlie asks.
She stares at me unblinking. “No. Then he played with his son and his friends. Then when I rounded all the boys up, he tried to sneak in as a camper.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes as the three of us continue along the path through the woods. “I feel bad for his son. I don’t think he has a serious bone in his muscled, rock hard body.” She hip checks me. “But enough about my annoying single daddy. Who’s yours?”
“It doesn’t really matter. My anger is dwindling.” I shrug.
“Interesting,” Charlie says and waggles her brows.
Surprisingly, they both let the topic go and we all climb into Charlie’s Jeep. It’s lime green and kind of obnoxious, but more comfortable for the three of us than my car.
She speeds out of the parking lot and Ava grabs the roll bar in front of her. “How many times have I told you, this is not the Indy 500!” she screams at her, but Charlie shrugs her shoulders.
In the ten-minute trip from Camp Tall Pines to Climax Cove, Marcus Kent highjacks all my thoughts. As pissed off as he made me today, it seems I can’t not want him. When he was only inches from pressing into my body, I was hyperaware of the way his breath tickled my neck and the scent of cedar wafting off him from his work earlier in the day. I wanted his arms to cage me into the tree, his fingers to brush along my neck and pull the string of my bikini top so I’d be exposed to him.
But his words were like venom in my ear, poisoning all my lustful thoughts. I have to face the facts…Marcus still sees me as nothing but an annoying child.
Seven
Marcus
I’d hoped swimming would tire Lily out, but she’s bouncing around the bathroom while I shave talking about the kids in her camp group. How she was talking to someone and then met someone new and then someone else got upset. I’m not following because I’m barely listening. I’m still preoccupied and seething from Cat’s earlier comments.
“Daddy?” she questions and I meet her gaze in the mirror.
Her eyes are wide and focused in on me, so I’m guessing I missed a question.
“Sorry, sweetheart, what did you say?” I ask.
“Do I have a mommy?” she asks.
I clench the shaving cream in my hand, forcing it out between my fingers. “Of course, you have a mommy.”
“Then where is she? Beth said that her mommy lives across the world, but she FaceTimes her anytime she wants.”
Well, FaceTime with your mom isn’t so easy, sweetie.
I pat the shaving cream onto my face and rinse my hand off before I reach for the razor on the counter. “Can we talk about this another time?”
I glance at her reflection in the mirror as I take my first swipe with the razor up my cheek. I watch the way her lips droop and how her gaze veers to the tiled bathroom floor and it feels like a fist just wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed.
Lily and I have always had an open relationship. I’m truthful about everything with her to the point that we’ve even had the conversation about how she should call her private area a vagina instead of a hoo-haw. Do you know how horribly painful it is to hear your sweet, innocent daughter say her vagina hurts? But when it comes to her mom, someone has to protect her and that’s my job.
She’s quiet for a while and the guilt burrows even further under my skin. I know it can’t stay this way forever—me trying to protect her from the truth. Truth is, I understand Caterina’s point even if it really is none of her concern. She’s a camp counselor, not a child psychologist.
“So, guess what?” I try to lighten the mood a bit.
Lily doesn’t answer.
“Ashley is coming over tonight,” I say, knowing she enjoys playing with Ashley while she’s watching her.
“Where are you going?”
Instead of the excitement I assumed I’d get, I get a snappish question with narrowed eyes. Women. Even at five, they’re all the same.
“I’m going out with Uncle Dane.”
“On a date?” she asks and I wonder how she even knows what that is. Lily has never seen me with a woman and any extracurriculars I did have over the years were done well away from my everyday life with her.
“Where did you learn that word?” I ask.
A small smile graces her lips. “Toby told me Uncle Dane goes on a lot of dates.”
That man could use a lesson or two in discretion.
“What does Toby think about that?” I ask, running the razor down my other cheek.
She shrugs. “He just asked if you went on dates.”
“And what did you say?” I turn on the faucet to rinse the razor.
“I asked what a date was.”
Good girl.
I glance at her as I bring the razor to my chin. She’s looking at me waiting for an answer. “Oh…a date is when two people go to dinner or a movie.”
“So, are you going on a date with Uncle Dane?” Her big blue eyes stare up at me innocently waiting for an answer.
I let the sound of the tap fill the room for a moment while I contemplate my options.
I nod. “Yes, I’m going on a date with Uncle Dane.”
“Can I go on a date with Toby?” She jumps up and down clapping her hands. “We can double date,” she squeals.
“You know what double date means?”
She giggles at my furrowed brow. “Toby says that’s when four people are there. Come on, Dad.”
I chuckle. “I promise another time.” I ruffle her blonde locks, but again her eyes focus on the floor and her bottom lip droops.
No one can make you feel like a bigger failure than your own children.
My phone rings from where it sits on the counter and I see Dane’s name flashing on the screen. My thumb hovers over the accept button. Lily’s already asking way too many questions. I click ignore.