“And I can’t be without you.” He shook his head when she tried squirming free. “Not letting you go, princess.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why?” He’d bet the farm he knew the answer. “Because somebody important used to call you that?”
“Stop.”
“I won’t. You know why? Because I want you to tell me everything. Really tell me, directly. I want to hear about your parents, the ones that came before Peter and Meredith. I want to see your beautiful smile when you tell me the happy stuff. I want to hold you while you cry about the sad parts.”
“Why?” she whispered, on the verge of tears now.
Gently, he cupped her chin and turned her head, forcing her to meet his eyes. “I’ve been in dangerous situations before, but I’ve never been scared like I was today. The shooter had put bullets in two civilians and two officers. Nobody knew where he’d gone—he could’ve been in a bush behind me, for all I knew.”
“I don’t want to hear this.”
“You have to, princess. You need to know. Times like that, you always wonder if this is the day you’re going down. The day you take a bullet somewhere the vest doesn’t cover. I don’t have a secret death wish, but I’ve never been afraid to die until today.”
Her head shook in his hand. Unable to look away, she pinched her eyes closed.
Fine. He didn’t need her to see him. Just to listen. “All I could think about was you. That if something happened to me, you’d spend the rest of your life thinking I was angry. Thinking I’d judged you and walked out of your life.”
“You did,” she said, meeting his gaze again.
“I was, and I did. But you already knew I can be a hotheaded idiot.” He softened his hold and stroked his thumb across her quivering bottom lip. “I was scared shitless today because of what you didn’t know, the thing I couldn’t die without telling you. I’m falling in love with you.”
“You can’t be. You don’t even know me.”
“I don’t know all the details, but I do know you.”
“That’s why I have to go, Curtis,” she whispered. “I’m leaving in the morning.”
“For where?”
“Back to my parents’, for now. While I regroup, figure out what to do with my life. This being-a-responsible-grownup shit really sucks ass.”
In the middle of the most serious conversation of his life and she managed to make him chuckle. “Stay here and figure it out. With me. Let’s find out how many ways you can make me crazy. How many ways I can piss you off and calm you down. I want to count how many times you call me ‘dude’ before admitting you’re in love with me too.”
Her lips curved into a beautiful smile—briefly. She wiggled free of him, and this time, he let her. She slid to one end of the small futon and hugged her knees to her chest. “It’ll never work. It can’t. I’m a walking, breathing disaster zone who ruins everything. And you’re not much better, honestly. I mean, look at you—you have a ‘Nothing is Forever’ tattoo. This is real life, not a stupid chick flick with a fairytale ending. I’m not going to run into your arms and we live happily ever after.”
“Don’t run to me, run with me. For as long as it lasts.”
“I can’t do it.”
“Because you don’t have the right shoes?” he asked, tossing a nod at the row of sexy footwear against a wall. The joke didn’t garner even a hint of a smile. “Hey.” He shifted down the futon and wrapped his arms around her. “We don’t have to figure everything out tonight. Just don’t run away.”
She swiped her fingers across her cheeks and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his jaw. “Thanks for not dying today.”
Humor. Definitely a good sign. “Thanks for not killing me when I acted like a supreme ass at your workplace.”
“It’s no longer my workplace. The owner showed up while a guy was propositioning me at the front desk. She told me it was time to ‘move up or move out.’ I chose the pink slip.”
Shit. Thank god he knew how to switch on his show-no-emotion cop face. He’d asked Jake to go in there next week, see if Sara was still at the desk or if she was hanging out in the lounge as a massage attendant. Apparently Jake had misunderstood—or made a little alteration to the plan. Either way, Curtis was going to have some explaining to do before she officially met his buddy.
“Can’t say I’m sorry you’re out of that place.” He glanced around her apartment. “Or that I’m happy you’re back in this one. Come home with me. I don’t know if I can sleep without you glued to my side, drooling on my chest.”
“Whatever, dude. I do neither of those things.”
“I’ll add that to my tally,” he said, and she smiled. A small one. He’d still take it. He stood and offered his hand, but she shook her head.
“I need to be alone. To think.”
The tension that’d begun to settle swirled to life in his gut. He didn’t want to leave her alone—and it had nothing to do with her safety. This wasn’t the night to dig in for a fight or throw her over his shoulder and carry her out. That left one option—respecting her request.
“Okay.” He grabbed his uniform from the floor. Zipped and buttoned everything into place while she watched from the huddled position she’d maintained. He crouched in front of her, brushing the hair back from her face for a better look at those mesmerizing eyes. “Lock up as soon as I’m out the door.”
“I will.”
He leaned in for one more taste of her sweet lips. “Don’t forget what I told you tonight.”
“I won’t.”
He straightened and moved to the door, hating every step. “See you soon.”
She didn’t say okay. Not good night or anything else either. Just waved goodbye.
Curtis
Saying he woke with the dawn wouldn’t be entirely correct. A person had to sleep in order to wake up, and he’d barely closed his eyes all night. He’d actually gotten out of bed and put on clothes twice. Once he’d gone as far as the parking lot.
Just because he’d figured everything out didn’t mean Sara had. She’d wanted to be alone, needed time to think. He didn’t cling and she’d push him away if he’d tried. He’d had no choice other than to comply.
He’d told her he’d see her soon, but six in the morning might be pushing it. If he went out for a run he’d end up at her door. Ditto if he headed for the gym. Patience wasn’t his greatest asset when he wanted something, and he couldn’t think of a time when he’d wanted anything as much as Sara.
Must’ve been how Conn felt when he realized he’d fallen for Nia, but Nia was still resisting a commitment. Weren’t women supposed to go weak in the knees when a man professed his love? Goddamn difficult sisters.
Curtis pulled his cell off the bedside table and tapped in Conn’s cell number. One of the many advantages of having a carpenter brother—his day started bloody early, making him safe to call at what most people would deem an insane hour.