“Probably not.”
“Gee, thanks. Think I’ll save the monthly fees, then.”
Sara propped against the headboard so she could look out at the water while talking. The water had always been one of her refuges from the dark memories. “You might not want me to call after what I’m about to tell you.”
“Not true and you know it.”
Yeah, she did. No matter what she’d done or how horribly she’d behaved in her many attempts to push Nia away, her sister had always been there for her, ready to give Sara a fresh start. That’s what she needed most right now—the biggest fresh start of her adult life.
Starting now, with full disclosure. “The health club I was working at was actually a massage parlor—and I’m not talking about the kind where registered massage therapists have diplomas on their office walls.”
“Oh my god, Sara. That’s…”
“Gross and embarrassing?”
“Yes. But as horrible as this sounds, also a bit fascinating. I’ve always wondered what those places are really like. I mean, I can only imagine what some of the um, customers, must be like.”
Sara shivered recalling some of the specimens that’d slithered through Lucky’s. “Trust me, you don’t want to imagine some of what I’ve seen. And heard.”
“Eww… How do you fake it with men like that? Oh my god, you didn’t catch some nasty disease there, did you?”
The questions had Sara springing to her feet, rubbing her arms to get rid of the crawly sensation. “I worked the reception desk, not the clients!”
“I wouldn’t have loved you any less if you’d done the other.”
She dropped onto the bed, staring up at the faux clouds once again. “I know.”
“Did Curtis find out, is that why you broke up?”
“He did, and it was an ugly scene, but that’s not why I left. And I don’t think you can call it a breakup since we were never officially a couple.”
“Right, okay. You were living with him, you voluntarily went to a funeral to support him, and oh—he told you he loves you. Of course you weren’t a couple. I mean, duh. Who in their right mind would think that? Pardon my blondeness.”
“I call to share my emotions and you come back with a bunch of sarcasm? What the hell is this, some alternate reality where everything is opposite?”
Nia’s giggle filled her ear. “It’s kind of fun being you.”
“Well, it’s weird being you. I want to be the snarky bitch again. All this feelings crap is killing me. Seriously, how do you live like this?”
“By letting people in,” Nia said softly. “You’re off to a good start with Curtis. He’s not perfect, but he’s a good man.”
“Yeah, well… I doubt he’s interested in going another round in my emotional meat grinder.”
“You’ll never know unless you try.”
“Now you sound like Mom did on mystery-meal nights. And you remember how most of those ended.”
“Oh my god, you’re right. Forget I said it.”
Together, they dissolved into a fit of laughing and reminiscing. The past wasn’t all bad, even with the mystery meals that combined leftovers that should never be mixed.
The thing that scared Sara now was the future.
“He could’ve died the other night.” She made the comment out of the blue, but Nia didn’t miss a beat answering it.
“He could have. It could happen tomorrow. Or next year. Or not until he’s ninety-seven years old. It’s going to happen, no matter who you’re with. That’s the risk of letting people in, of loving them.”
“Dude, this is not your most uplifting speech ever.”
Her sister’s gentle laugh came through the phone’s speaker. The closest possible thing to a sisterly hug, given the distance separating them. “I’m never going to understand what you went through. I can only tell you that loving somebody is worth the risk of losing them.”
“You’re actually pretty smart for a blonde.”
“Welcome back, snarky bitch. Now get your butt down here.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’m going to hang up with you, call Mom, and tell her how much you’ve missed her mystery meals. Guess what’ll be for dinner tonight?”
“Jerk.”
“I learned from the best,” Nia said. “So you’re coming back?”
Time to commit. Really commit. And for once, she wanted to, even though it meant asking for and accepting help. Giving people the power to break what remained of her fractured heart by willingly and truly letting them in.
“I’m coming back. And thanks. Especially for not gloating about this emotional crap.”
“Oh, don’t thank me for that. I cut you some slack because this was your first time, but you’re not off the hook. Once you get settled here, we’re having a girly-girls’ night. One with deep, meaningful conversation, a chick flick, and enough red wine to make us weepy. I may even make you submit to having your nails painted pink again. Think of it as initiation.”
Trying to get a rise, was she? Not this time. “I’ve been told I look gorgeous in pink. And I heard The Notebook is pretty good.”
“Oh my god, that’s it. I’m buying the wine and cuing up the DVD right now. Pack the damn car. Immediately.”
“I’m on it. See you soon.” The itch to get out of here roared to life. Only this time, she wasn’t running away.
Sara
Maybe she should have waited in her car. Sara could barely feel her butt after sitting on the floor outside Curtis’ unit for over an hour. Also, every time she heard a noise—any noise—her heart practically shot up her throat and out her dry mouth. His shift ended almost an hour ago and the station was a ten-minute drive. He should be home by now.
Unless he’d stopped somewhere after work. A bar for a drink. A woman’s apartment for a fuck. Worse—he might’ve picked up a woman at a bar, and the two of them would tumble out of the elevator together any minute.
If so, she’d handle it. Not gracefully, but she’d handle it.
Instead of the elevator, the stairwell door opened. She sprang to her feet as Curtis emerged—solo—and the door closed quietly behind him. The twenty-odd feet between them could have been zero when their eyes met and locked, because the intensity of his stare had her buzzing as if he’d touched her all over.
She’d thought about him all week. He’d been in her head while her hand was between her legs at night—remembering the way his fingers trailed sparks across her skin. The tingly sensation when he sifted through her hair. The magic his tongue worked when it took her to the height of ecstasy—repeatedly. The heady combination of power and submission she got from sucking his cock. How she didn’t just feel full when he fucked her, she felt whole. And that feeling extended beyond the bedroom.
“Hey,” he said as he stopped in front of her. He’d donned his unreadable expression. The one he’d had the first time their eyes met in the church. And every other time she’d pushed him too far. “Everything okay?”
“Not really.”