But not Zoe. She’d never done that.
Yeah, she’d called Van when Craig left and their mom went off the rails. But not because she felt responsible, but because she didn’t know what to do.
Zoe had cried when her friends went to the Maroon 5 concert, but that was because she was missing out, not because she felt they were judging her.
Her hands shook as she picked her coffee cup up again. Tanner had been right last night when he’d accused her of being afraid. Of being willing to lose all the good things that happened to her rather than let people talk about her.
“Are you okay?” Zoe asked. Van blinked, realizing she hadn’t said a word for more than a minute.
No, she wasn’t. All her life she’d thought of herself as brave. Intrepid. Nothing phased her. Yet the shaking in her body was out of control. The way she’d behaved as a kid had been a mask. Something she’d pulled on to hide the fear and the pain. The same emotions that were wracking her body right now.
She was afraid. So afraid that if she was honest people wouldn’t like her. Much easier to pretend she didn’t care.
“Van?” Zoe prompted.
Van looked at Zoe, a reassuring smile on her face. “I’m just thinking about what you said.”
“Can I ask you something?” Zoe’s voice lowered.
Van nodded. “Sure.”
“I heard you and Tanner arguing last night. Are you mad at him about something?”
Van’s eyes shone with tears. “No, I’m not mad at him.” It was true. But she was furious at herself. When her mom had made that announcement last night, she’d withdrawn the way she always did. Taken on the burden of choices two people made before she was born.
“That’s good, because I really like Tanner. He’s cool. And so are his brothers.” Zoe smiled. “And Becca. I love Becca.”
“I’m pretty sure the feeling’s mutual,” Van murmured, her thoughts still filled with him.
There was a knock at the door, and Zoe shot out of the kitchen, wrenching open the front door. Van could see Becca standing there. “I’m almost ready,” Zoe said. “I just need to brush my teeth.”
“Then get to it.” Becca grinned, looking over her shoulder to smile at Van. “I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.” Zoe ran into the bathroom, as Becca walked into the kitchen and smiled at Van. “Hey.”
“Thanks for dropping my car off this morning,” Van said, giving her a hug
“No problem. Logan dropped me off at the drive-in at the asscrack of dawn. That guy really needs to learn how to sleep in.” Becca grimaced. “But I did get a nice walk back to the house.”
You want coffee?” Van asked her, biting down a smile.
“No, I’ll get one at the diner. How are you doing?”
“Better.” Van nodded. “Can I ask you how Tanner is?”
Becca sat in the chair next to Van’s. “I don’t know. He was gone when I got back after dropping your car. But last night he was a mess.” She shifted on her feet. “I feel really uncomfortable talking to you about him. I hate being in the middle.” She blew out a mouthful of air. “We’re still friends, right?”
Van’s chest tightened. Of course Becca shouldn’t get involved. It was unfair to her, and to them as well. “Of course we are. And thank you for being so sweet to Zoe. I know she appreciates it.”
“She’s a good kid. I like her a lot.” Becca smiled. “I hope you get a little bit of peace while we’re gone.”
“I’m ready,” Zoe said, running into the kitchen. “I even brushed my hair. Can we go now?”
“Sure.” Becca stood, giving Van a smile. “We’ll see you later.”
Van nodded. “Thanks.”
She saw the two of them out, closing the front door gently behind them, then turned back to the hallway.
Her mom was standing there, fully dressed, her hair spilling over her shoulders as she stared at Van.
Van walked back into the kitchen and poured them both a fresh mug of coffee.
It looked like it was going to be a day for talking.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Tanner’s phone beeped right as he and Logan walked through the front door of Gray’s house. He pulled it out of his pocket as they followed their older brother to his expansive, state-of-the-art kitchen, where the huge glass doors were flung open, the late-morning sun blasting through.
He checked the screen. Just a junk email. Tanner swallowed down his disappointment.
“Coffee?” Gray asked.
“Give me a vatful,” Logan said. “This guy had me up at the ass crack of dawn.”
“It was the other way around, dumbass.” Tanner lifted an eyebrow, his gaze still stuck on his phone screen. He watched as it slowly faded to black.
“Two coffees coming up. Cam’s on the phone in the backyard,” Gray said, sliding a pod into the flap at the front of his expensive coffee machine.
“Where’s Maddie?” Tanner asked, looking around for her.
“She’s gone out.” The corner of Gray’s lip twitched. “Said this was ‘brother business’ and she wasn’t getting involved.” He held the coffee out to Tanner.
“We’re all checked in for our flight,” Cam said to Logan as he walked into the kitchen. “I got a car meeting us at the other end. We need to leave for the airport by two.”
“Thanks, bro.” Logan nodded. “I owe you one.”
“What’s for brunch?” Cam asked as he pulled out one of the stools set around the huge breakfast bar. “I’m starving.”
“Chilli’s in the oven,” Gray said, passing him and Logan both a coffee, then pouring himself one. “Now we just need to pull Tanner’s head out of his ass and we can eat.”
“You guys are obsessed with my ass,” Tanner muttered, shaking his head.
“I’m obsessed with you not making a huge mistake,” Gray told him. “So come on, talk. What’s going on with you and Van Butler?”
Tanner sighed, leaning his elbows on the counter and resting his head in his hands. Just hearing her name felt like a stab in the heart. “I’m in love with her.”
“So why are you sitting here while she’s across town and neither of you are talking to each other?” Gray asked, his brow furrowing.
“That was her decision.” Tanner looked up, his eyes catching Gray’s. “For some damn stupid reason she thinks I’m better off without her. Thinks all the things her mom has done are a bad reflection of her.” He shook his head. “It’s not the first time she’s walked away from us for what she says is my own good.” Tanner’s jaw felt so damn tight. “She did it ten years ago before I went to Duke.”
“You two were a thing ten years ago?” Cam asked. “Why didn’t I know this?” He glanced at his twin. “Did you know this?”
“Yep.” Logan nodded. “I know the whole sorry story.”
“What story?” Gray asked. “Anybody want to fill me in?”
Tanner sighed and took another sip of coffee. It did nothing to elevate his mood. “I was in love with her ten years ago. We kind of hooked up at the Senior Prom.”