“I don’t know, Dad. I hope so? It’s my senior year. I need to get out more.”
“You’ve been on dates. You’re on a varsity team. You have friends. You’ve been to prom, homecoming. I don’t think you’re missing out on anything, sweetie.”
I gave Dad a sympathetic look. He knew what I was missing out on. Trouble. It was time to find some.
A heavy beat pulsed through my truck and I bobbed my head and rolled my shoulders, wiggling my hips as I worked some seated dance moves. Belting out the lyrics, I felt my boobs bounce as I went over a pothole on the dirt road leading up to the Lake. I hadn’t been here in years, and a spike of adrenaline shot through me as I spotted cars parked in the field. Pulling up beside one, I bit my lip and rolled my eyes at myself. There were only a dozen cars parked. I should have known I’d be too early.
Leaning back in the seat I closed my eyes and let the music wash over me.
I am sexy. I am awesome. I am confident.
I pulled the flannel over my head and tossed it in the passenger seat. Then I took a deep breath and stepped outside.
“Is that Hazel Ross?” I turned and found a carload of girls getting out of a vehicle behind me. They must have pulled up at the same time as me.
I smiled wide and waved. “Hey!” I recognized them from soccer tryouts this morning. Sophomores or juniors, I wasn’t sure. They hesitated a moment and then all five of them swarmed around, chattering away.
“I can’t believe we ran into you first!”
“We thought we might be too early, but Mel has a midnight curfew so we didn’t want to wait.”
“Are you sleeping in your truck? I heard a lot of people crash in tents.”
“Do you think we were supposed to bring presents? I didn’t know but my older sister, she leaves for college soon, you might know her?” She told me her sister’s name, that she was on the JV soccer team in high school, but it didn’t ring a bell. “She gave me this bottle of whiskey to give to Cruz. Do you know if he likes whiskey?”
Their nervous energy eased my own as we moved past the cars toward a bonfire. Their questions came so fast that I didn’t need to answer. I kept smiling, leading the way like I knew exactly how this worked.
I didn’t tell them the last time I was at the Lake was for Cruz Donovan’s fifteenth birthday. Or that I knew about as much as they did, based only on what I’d heard from others, about how these parties played out.
See, people assumed I was popular. Maybe I was, but not in the way everyone thought. I had status and respect because of soccer. I’d had big boobs since middle school and ever since I’d fallen into that category of girls. Okay, it wasn’t just my boobs. The truth was, I attracted the attention of guys. Even when I wasn’t trying. And tonight, I was trying. So there was that.
But when it came to friends, I had too many. No, I’m serious. I couldn’t decide where I fit. Punks, hippies, jocks, nerds, outcasts and social climbers, they were all my people. And yet none of them really were. I suppose my default group was the overachieving crowd. I was in all the advanced placement classes with them and one girl, Louise Janik, played soccer with me too. She worked too hard though, took herself so seriously, and really didn’t seem to have much fun. Kind of like me, actually. Hence why I was here tonight. This year was going to be different.
I spotted my second most common group by the bonfire now. The soccer girls. Not just the ones who played at school, I was surrounded by some of those right now, but the ones who played for my club team outside of school too. A couple were on ODP with me, the Olympic Development Program. Soccer was huge in Defiance Falls. If you were good, you got mad respect. If you were the best, well, there you go. Instant popularity, boobs or not.
The top soccer players were girls I spent a hella lot of time with. They were cool chicks. And they partied hard. But they could be bitches too. Bullies even. Some were worse than others but I’d learned real quick that nearly every top female soccer player had an inner diva who came out eventually. It was possible even I had one I hadn’t discovered yet. So I kept it friendly enough with them, but didn’t go deeper.
I could go on and on, but that’s how it was with every group. Surface friends. It was cool. I liked it this way. I could do what I wanted. And tonight, that meant I was at the Lake. In short shorts and a halter top. People must have carpooled because there were more people standing around the bonfire than I expected from the dozen or so cars parked. Maybe forty or fifty already.
“Hay-Zel!” Isaiah spotted me first. He whistled as we came into the light by the fire. “Girl you are lookin’ F-I-N-E fine.” Isaiah was loud.
I didn’t have to look around to know that Cruz wasn’t here yet. All the attention had shifted to me, and conversation quieted. The girls I’d walked over with began to fidget and then stopped walking forward altogether. Being the focus didn’t faze me though, and I strode toward the basketball player.
“You clean up nice yourself,” I told him with a wink, going in for hugs with the others he was standing around. After Cruz Donovan, Isaiah Cross was one of the best athletes to come out of Defiance Falls, Massachusetts.
People quickly returned to whatever they were doing and I felt the weight of the eyes leave me. I knew Cruz and his guys weren’t here yet. Everything was heightened when he was around. Right now, the air was easy to breathe and the vibe was mellow. No, that wasn’t right exactly. There was still a zing of energy pulsing around the bonfire. Anticipation.
This was Cruz Donovan’s party. His family’s property. He’d get here soon, and everything would turn up a notch.
Isaiah threw an arm around my shoulder. “Haven’t seen you all summer, Haze. Were you hanging with Blake?” He’d managed to tone down his voice from the initial greeting, but everyone in our circle stopped talking, waiting for my answer.
I’d started dating Blake Carmen after Christmas break, knowing he was graduating a few months later, and club soccer season would keep me busy. It was safe. There was an easy out.
“Nah, we split at the beginning of the summer.”
Hanna, another senior soccer player, didn’t hide her surprise. “Seriously? Man, I thought you guys were together this whole time. Will he be here tonight?”
I couldn’t hide my grin. There was the inner bitch coming out. I hadn’t seen it from Hanna yet, not really, but she was now looking at me with eager eyes. My teammate, a girl I played on not one, not two, but three different soccer teams with, wanted to bang my ex-boyfriend. Wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it.
I shrugged. “Maybe. He might have left for Harvard already.”
She pulled at her bottom lip. “Do you think I should text him to see if he wants to come?”
She was really asking me this. “Uh, yeah. Sure. Why not?”
I started to turn around, and then remembered Isaiah’s arm was still on my shoulder. And that he had been the one to ask the question. Oh, ah, I got it now. I looked up at Isaiah, deciding how to play this smooth, when I heard the roar of an engine. My head spun toward the noise and I spotted a green Hummer coming toward us, veering off the dirt driveway.
Its horn blared a few times, and then it parked inches away from a group of people. Spike Matlock leaned his head out the open window. “The kegs have arrived!” he shouted. The announcement was followed by hoots and hollers and everyone moved in that direction.