For once, Hilda, a little shamefaced, ducked her head before, with a heavy sigh, she lifted it again and said to both of us, ‘I miss it… I just wanted to see what it would be like to stay there and I knew Farquhar would play merry hell and say it’s far too big for me and what happens if I fall. I just pop in every now and then make sure everything is okay. He’s desperate for me to sell the place but I… I can’t bring myself to.’ For the first time since I’d met her, Hilda seemed to have shrunk a little into herself. ‘I know I can’t live there anymore but I do miss it.’
‘How long did you live there?’ I squeezed her hand in encouragement.
‘Over forty years. Saw me through a couple of husbands. Farky used to love going to the park. In those days, bands played every weekend in the bandstand.’ Her eyes dimmed as though she were lost in the past. ‘He was quite a cute little boy, then,’ she added with a wistful smile.
Would I miss this house? I looked around the kitchen, remembering the girls helping me make cheese on toast for tea earlier, having pizza with Ash and Hilda last weekend, trying out the new Nespresso machine with Hilda the day I bought it. This room was starting to hold memories; the house starting to work its way into being mine. I had a growing collection of scenes. A house was to be lived in. Shared with other people. Hilda’s house must hold a palimpsest of memories built up over the years.
‘I’d love you to show me it one day,’ I said impulsively.
Hilda’s smile was slow but gradually lit up her face. ‘That would be my absolute pleasure. Now, what time is this council meeting tomorrow? You’ll have to pick me up, Ash, so that I can babysit for the girls and you might as well bring Bill because young Poppy adores him.’
Poppy and Ava were currently in the front room watching television and I was trying to quash the vague feelings of bad-parenting guilt as I wasn’t sure what they were watching.
Hilda gave me a shrewd look. ‘No word from Alice, yet?’
‘No,’ I eyed my phone. Still no answer to my calls or the messages I’d left. Worry crawled down my spine like spiders skittering across the floor. ‘But she’s…’ I glanced around, making sure the children hadn’t reappeared. ‘She’s quite unreliable. Knowing Alice, she’ll phone when she’s landed and expect me to go and pick her up.’ Under the table I crossed my fingers. But why, when I called, was her phone still ringing with an overseas dial tone?
‘Anyone want another glass of wine?’
‘I ought to get Cinderella here back to Drearyside before the manager sends out search parties and I’ve got…’ Ash looked at me. ‘Things to do.’
‘And I ought to get the munchkins ready for bed and prepare for school in the morning. I need to make packed lunches.’ And there was also reading and spelling to do with Ava, and Poppy had homework on electric circuits which we’d abandoned yesterday because I couldn’t get my head around it.
‘Actually, Ash, I don’t suppose… Poppy’s struggling with some science homework.’
Ash’s eyes rose with surprise and I realised that it was the first time I’d voluntarily asked for help; normally Hilda ploughed in on my behalf.
‘Sorry, you said you had things to do.’
‘They can wait,’ he replied with a shrug, but somehow, despite the laconic body language, I got the impression he was quite pleased to have been asked.
‘And I can make the packed lunches.’ Hilda had already jumped to her feet. It was as if neither of them particularly wanted to go home.
‘Another cup of tea then?’ I asked.
‘I think it’s wine o’clock,’ said Hilda. ‘I’d probably better not have any more coffee.’
Half an hour later, Ash and Poppy’s heads were bent together over a homework sheet. Hilda was cooking pasta carbonara for dinner and Ava was sitting on my knee, dutifully ploughing through her reading book with painstaking but determined slowness.
It wasn’t the evening I’d planned and it was all the nicer for it. The girls approved the new paint colour with much enthusiasm and the sight of them pouring over the paint charts, Poppy’s science homework complete, Ava’s reading book finished, and Hilda and Ash drinking wine, was another scene to add to my memory bank.
Chapter Twenty-One
I dragged myself out of bed extra early the following morning. Ava was fast asleep, rosy-cheeked, with her curls matted around her head like a messy halo. Next door, Poppy, one arm curled neatly under her head, slept like a Madonna. I tiptoed away and down the stairs and blearily made myself a coffee before starting on my calls.
Unsurprisingly, Alice did not pick up and the dial tone was still international.
‘Alice, just wondering whether I need to get the police involved.’ I hung up. Passive aggressive, I know, but I’d left so many messages now.
To my surprise, when I called my mother, she answered.
‘Mum! It’s Claire.’
‘Hello, dear. Gosh, how lovely. I was going to call you later. It’s so difficult trying to work out the times and whether you’re at work or not. We’re in Cozumel, Mexico. Just docked. It’s absolutely gorgeous. Glorious sunshine.’
‘That sounds wonderful. Although,’ I looked out the window at the pink and gold tinged wispy clouds against the backdrop of a bright blue sky. ‘It’s going to be a lovely day here too.’ One of those days when you wanted to get your run in early before it got too warm.
‘And how are you, dear? Are you enjoying having the girls to stay? I forgot to ask, have you taken holiday or something? They’re such a pair of sweethearts. I do love having them to stay when they come for the weekend.’
‘Actually, that’s why I’m calling, Mum. They’re still here. Alice hasn’t come back yet and she’s not answering her phone. I’m getting a bit worried about her. I wondered if you’d heard from her.’
‘Well, she’s not due back… Oh, I’m getting my dates muddled. She was going for two weeks. Maybe her flight’s been delayed.’
‘And she’s a liar—’
‘Now, don’t be mean, Claire. You have to accept that your personalities are very different. Alice isn’t as strong as you. She needs a lot more support.’
I almost groaned aloud. I’d been hearing this for as long as I could remember.
‘Mum, she told me she was going for a week. That’s what she told the girls as well. I’m not being mean, I’m calling it out. She lied. It’s not acceptable.’ I let my annoyance show because, bloody hell, what was Alice playing at? ‘She might think it’s funny and clever to get one over on me – I’m a big girl and used to her infantile tricks – but it’s not fair on Poppy and Ava.’ I knew Mum would be far more sympathetic to the plight of the girls.
There was small pause. ‘No, that’s true. It’s very naughty of Alice.’
‘Naughty! Mum, she’s not five. She’s bloody irresponsible. I have absolutely no idea when she’s coming back. She said Sunday. It’s Tuesday. Have you heard from her at all?’
‘Not this week but she’s having a wonderful time. The retreat is up in the mountains. It sounds so beautiful. It’s quite remote though.’