Her voice wobbled. ‘Sure as I’m sure about anything at the moment. I just know that in India I was a little bit happy.’
I nodded, too drained to say any more. We were done. ‘We need to find Poppy.’
‘Yeah, I’m sorry I upset her. It was… just a shock seeing her.’ Alice’s lips curved into a mirthless smile. ‘Never thought she had it in her to run away. More Ava’s style. They’re like you and me. Don’t let Ava be the fuck up, Claire, will you?’
Tears stung my eyes. ‘No, I won’t.’ I shook my head, trying to blink them back. ‘Do you know where she went?’
Ash’s thumb rubbed over my knuckle, reminding me of his stalwart, steady presence.
‘No, she ran off but I’d guess she’s gone down to the Valley Gardens. It’s the only place she’d know how to walk to from here. Dad takes them a lot. Gets an ice cream at the pavilion.’
‘Do you know the way?’ asked Ash.
I nodded and led the way out of the house, not saying another word to Alice.
‘Let me know if you find her,’ she called after us. Ash, still holding my hand, growled under his breath.
As the door closed behind us, I stood for a moment staring at the solid panelled front door with its cast-iron knocker and black letterbox and sighed. It felt as if I’d reached the end of a very long journey and there was no going back.
Ash kissed me softly on the cheek. ‘Come on, sweetheart. You can think about it all later but we need to find Poppy. She needs us.’
I swallowed back the lump and smiled a little stupidly at him. ‘Sweetheart?’
His smile was gentle. ‘Seemed appropriate.’ And then he smirked, with that classic Ashwin Laghari lift of his eyebrow. ‘Don’t get too used to it. Come on, let’s find our girl.’
I directed him down the hill towards the nearest entrance to the park, the route one I’d walked a thousand times in my own childhood and could probably have done blindfolded. I knew every tree, hedge, and crack in the pavement along the way.
There were plenty of mothers and toddlers dawdling along in the sunshine, a few of them with ice creams. Grandad brought Poppy and Ava for ice creams, just liked he’d bought them for me and Alice.
‘The pavilion’s this way,’ I said. ‘It’s an ice-cream café but it’s in a pavilion, just like The Friendly Bean. It’s familiar. I bet that’s where she’d go.’
I walked quickly, too exhausted by the emotional storm to run, and sighed with hope when I saw the cupola on the top of the pavilion. I looked left and right along the wide path and put a hand out to Ash’s arm when I spotted a familiar flash of red school-uniform sweatshirt. My heart stopped at the sight of Poppy huddled, her knees up to her chin, on a wooden bench just a few strides ahead. She was sobbing her heart out.
On shaky legs I ran over to her, Ash close behind.
‘Oh, Poppy, darling.’ I scooped her up and somehow hauled her leggy body onto my lap, hugging her tight. She cried harder and I hugged her tighter, tucking her head under my chin as Ash sat down next to me, putting his arms around both of us.
‘It’s okay, sweetheart,’ I murmured, tears pouring down my face. ‘We’ve got you. We’ve got you.’
Lifting my head, I gave Ash a relieved, watery smile. We’d found her. My bones felt like water and I had to hang on to her otherwise I thought I might collapse. Ash hugged us both and kissed the corner of my mouth, his eyes shimmering with his own tears.
Eventually, Poppy’s sobs subsided but we clung together after the storm as if none of us could bear to let go. When Poppy finally lifted her head, one of her hands came up to touch my tear-streaked face. ‘I’m so sorry, Auntie Claire.’
‘Shh, darling. I’m not mad at you. I’m just so relieved you’re okay.’. Hell yes, she’d frightened me, and there would be recriminations later, but they’d probably just be threats that I was never going to let her out of my sight again until she was at least twenty-nine.
With a sniff, she straightened and I arranged her body more comfortably on my knee, with Ash’s arms around both of us.
‘I went to see Mummy.’ She gulped and her mouth trembled.
I cupped her cheek and smiled sadly at her, doing my best not to cry again. ‘I know, darling.’
‘She’s not in India.’ The lump in my throat was so huge I had to take a second to breathe.
‘I promise, I didn’t know until I went to Nanny and Grandad’s just now. I’m really sorry. I honestly thought she was still in India.’ Inside, I felt sick for her and defeated by how she must be feeling.
‘Alice doesn’t want us anymore.’ Her lower lip began to quiver in earnest and tears filled her eyes again. Try as I might, I couldn’t hold back the sob and it came out a half-swallowed hiccough.
Bloody, bloody, Alice. How could she?
I’d never wanted the girls to know that. It would have been easy to explain, to create excuses, but for Poppy’s sake, I wasn’t prepared to lie on Alice’s behalf.
‘But I do.’ I clutched her fiercely. ‘I want you.’
She began to cry again and Ash, who hadn’t said anything, dropped a kiss on my cheek.
‘Me too,’ he murmured.
Poppy looked up and her gaze went from me to Ash and back again, her eyes narrowed in sharp assessment. Thoughtful, clever Poppy.
‘You should be at work.’
Ash snorted. ‘I don’t think so. Not when there’s a Poppy on the loose. Who else but me and Claire was going to come and find you?’
Again, she looked from him to me and back.
I kissed her nose. ‘You’re far more important than that. Than anything.’
She swallowed and sniffed bravely. ‘Not to Mummy.’
‘To us. I love you, Poppy Harrison. More than anything.’
‘More than Ava?’
‘Well…’ I hesitated and kissed her again. ‘The same as Ava.’
‘That’s okay. I don’t mind that.’ She paused and with a tiny spark of her natural cheekiness, asked, ‘More than Ash?’
My heart stalled and I looked at his warm eyes reflecting love and hope.
‘The same as Ash.’
He laced his fingers through mine.
‘And I love you, Poppy… and Ava, and Claire. Nothing in the world is as important as you three.’
‘What about Bill?’ Poppy’s eyes glowed with outrage which made Ash and me laugh. ‘And Hilda.’
‘I love you, Ava, Claire, Bill, and Hilda,’ declared Ash, stroking her face with his hand.
‘That’s okay then.’ She gave him a trusting smile and I had to swallow hard again. ‘Can we go home, now?’
‘Home?’
‘To your house.’
‘Our house,’ I said firmly.
The three of us stood up, Ash took one of Poppy’s hands and I the other, and the three of us walked slowly up the path back to the car.
Ash sent me a gentle smile over the top of Poppy’s head and I smiled back, secure in the knowledge that we were on the same page after all.
Life ahead of us was going to be tough but we were a team and between us, between me, Poppy, Ava, Ash, Hilda, and Bill, there was enough love, friendship, and community to build lasting foundations for the future. Poppy and Ava would not be short changed in love.