‘But when can I see him?’ Poppy asked with an anguished cry.
Ash swallowed but, to give him credit, he didn’t look my way. Even so, I felt horribly guilty. This was my fault but it was protecting all of us in the long run.
‘You can still see him at the parkrun every Saturday.’
‘But…’ Poppy’s lip quivered. ‘Why are adults always so mean? You tell lies. You don’t stay. And you pretend. Why won’t you just tell the truth?’ She stood up and stormed out of the room and slammed her bedroom door so hard that the whole house shook.
‘Well that went well,’ said Ash, glaring at me.
‘She’s been in a difficult mood since Saturday,’ I said. It seemed the slightest thing triggered her instant flare ups and champion-standard door slamming these days.
‘What, since you dumped me?’
‘Ash,’ I threw my head back and huffed out a long sigh. ‘I didn’t dump you. I’m just making things easier for you.’
‘Or for you, perhaps.’
‘How do you figure that?’
He pushed a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t know. Not having to explain to them when I have to let you all down. I forgot about taking them to the cinema. I feel really bad about that and you didn’t mention it.’
‘Exactly,’ I said crisply. ‘No point upsetting everyone.’
‘Were they very disappointed?’
‘Poppy more so than Ava. I told them you paid for the tickets and that it was your treat even though you couldn’t come along. You also bought them Maltesers and Minstrels. You owe me £4.60.’
He winced. ‘I’m sorry.’ His eyes showed genuine regret. ‘I get your point now. And now I feel like a real shit, especially as I’m going to ask one last favour and then I really will stay out of your hair. This Thursday, I have a really big meeting with the board. An all-dayer. I’m leaving early and I’ll be back late. Can I ask you to have Bill all day Thursday and overnight until Friday? I shouldn’t ask, should I? It’s not fair on Poppy, is it?’ Guilt softened his eyes. ‘Everything you said. You’re right. Shit. I’m sorry, Claire.’
Tears welled up in my eyes and I swallowed hard. ‘You see.’
‘I do. I’m sorry. I’ll find an alternative arrangement.’
I was touched that he was so worried about Poppy’s feelings.
‘Don’t worry. We’ll get over it. Children are very resilient. And no doubt she’ll use every bargaining chip she has to get me to let Bill sleep on her bed.’
‘You sure?’
I nodded, trying hard not to give in to temptation and meet his eyes. Instead, I gave him a perfunctory smile. Being in the same room was too much like temptation. I wanted to lean in to that broad chest and let him fold his arms around me. It would have been so much easier to give in and keep seeing him but I knew it would only prolong the heartache at a later stage.
Thank goodness we didn’t sleep together again.
And then I wished I hadn’t let that thought come to fruition because now I’d have a lifetime of regret. I would never get to sleep with Ashwin Laghari again.
‘Is it okay if I drop him off at seven?’
‘What?’ My mind was still caught up in the fantasy of his golden chest and those predatory tiger eyes. ‘Sorry, yes. He can walk to school with us and then I’ll bring him back here, get the later train to work and then Hilda can come in at two.’
‘Thanks Claire. I want to kiss you… but I guess that’s out of the question now.’
My heart clenched. ‘’Fraid… so.’ I had to force the words past the huge lump in my throat.
‘Right, well I’ll be off then. See you Thursday.’
He gave me a glum smile, called to Bill, and left.
I watched him stride down the front garden, the dog at his heels. He didn’t look back once, thank goodness. Not that he could have seen my tears from that distance.
Chapter Thirty-Five
On Thursday morning, Poppy was overly bright and cheerful during breakfast, as if she was trying to make amends for the last few days’ sulks without actually saying sorry. I recognised the tactic. It was the exact same one I’d used with my mother.
‘Go up and clean your teeth, both of you. I can see Ash and Bill.’ I waved through the kitchen window. Poppy, instead of going upstairs, diverted to the front door to welcome Bill.
‘Morning,’ I said to Ash over Poppy’s crouched body where she was fussing with her pal. ‘Poppy, teeth. You can see Bill in a minute and he’s coming on the school run this morning.’
‘Okay,’ she huffed and dashed up the stairs.
‘Thanks for this, Claire. I really appreciate it.’
‘No prob—’ I made the mistake of looking at him properly and the words died in my mouth. Oh my, Ashwin Laghari, firing on all cylinders. All that sexy charisma slammed into me and I felt like I’d taken a hit.
‘N-nice suit,’ I managed. Silhouetted against the sun, his broad shoulders filled the doorway and the perfectly tailored suit emphasised what was under it a little too well.
‘Thanks.’ The warm, almost shy, smile made my knees go weak and my pulse take off at an untenable pace. Would I ever get over that initial lightning bolt of lust and attraction every time I saw him?
‘Good luck today,’ I said, trying to sound brisk and businesslike. ‘I hope it goes well. What time are you on?’
‘I’m presenting the budget to the board at eleven but we’re starting the meeting at nine.’
‘I’m sure they’ll be extremely impressed with their new financial director.’ Unable to help myself, I reached out and touched his arm. ‘Knock ’em dead, Ash. I know you’ll be brilliant.’
‘Thanks, Claire. I’d better go. Be good, Bill.’ He turned and then paused with his back to me. I swallowed, studying the line of his suit.
With a sudden turn he faced me again, leaned forward and pulled me towards him. The kiss surprised me and I was just getting used to the idea when he stepped away, shot me a crooked smile, and said, ‘Gotta go. Think of me.’
And then the bastard strode down the front path without a backward glance, leaving me touching my lips and sighing like some forties ingenue. Inside, I was all fired and ready for action and he’d just left me hanging.
I stepped out of the front door as he swung into the Porsche and spotted Elaine next door, who crossed her hands over her heart and gave me a big smile. ‘So romantic.’
‘Hmph,’ I grunted, wanting nothing more than to slam the door. Instead I shut it very firmly and carefully. Bloody man. What did he go and do that for?
‘You can’t bring Bill onto school property.’ Poppy stood barring my way on the path at the school gate.
‘Oh, that’s right. I’ll just tie him up here.’
‘No!’ Poppy almost sounded panicked.
‘It’s all right. He’ll be okay for a minute.’
‘I’ll take Ava.’ I smiled at her uncharacteristic bossiness; she was definitely growing up. ‘I can take her to her classroom. I don’t mind.’