But it was over. Now we just had the broken pieces to fit back together. I only hoped there weren’t too many missing. Ravi had offered to drive Roxy home, which left me alone in the living room with Alaric, a large gin and tonic, and a whole boatload of awkwardness.
“Talk to me, Beth. It’s not good to bottle things up.”
I’d carefully sat in an armchair to give myself some space, but my plan backfired because he came over to sit on an arm.
“I…” Where did I start? “At first, on the roof, I was barely thinking straight. Emmy told me to hold a wooden board to help save Gemma’s life, and I just did it. And even after Ryland fell, I was… I guess I was sort of numb. Is that normal?”
“Perfectly normal.”
“Then when I saw those people gathered around his body on the ground, I was horrified. A man died. Somebody’s son. Perhaps somebody’s brother. Except when Gemma told us the details of what Ryland did, all I felt was anger. And then relief. I still feel desperately sorry for his family, but I’m glad he’s not here anymore.”
There would be no hospital exam, no investigation, and no court case. Gemma had been spared from that ordeal, and she could start to heal rather than prolonging the agony. Death provided closure. She said she wanted to put it behind her, that she refused to let Ryland ruin her life. I think that was Roxy’s influence. They’d talked alone for half an hour, and Gemma seemed much better for it. Roxy had promised to come back tomorrow too, just to check how she was getting on.
“And now you feel guilty for that?”
I hadn’t got as far as analysing my discomfort, but yes. I nodded. “I can’t help it.”
“That’s good. It shows you’ve still got your humanity.”
“Emmy didn’t seem affected.”
“Emmy’s had a lot of experience at hiding her feelings.”
“And you?”
He looked me in the eye. “I’m out of practice, but yes, I have too.” He laid a hand on my shoulder, and I jumped out of my skin. “That bothers you.”
“You’ve killed people?”
“I used to have a job I can’t talk about.”
But I understood from what he didn’t tell me that the answer was yes. “How did it make you feel?”
“There’s a reason I’m not doing that job anymore.”
That was good, right? It showed Alaric cared and had integrity. But holy shit, he’d killed people. I was sitting in the same room as a man who had blood on his hands, but weirdly, I didn’t feel scared. Not at all. Not after the way he’d moved heaven and earth to save Gemma.
“Okay,” I said.
“Okay?”
“I’m okay with that.”
“But you weren’t okay earlier.”
“Well, it was all so fresh, and I was shaking, and Gemma was crying, and…”
“No, I mean before that. Before we went anywhere near the roof. You’ve been walking on eggshells around me since yesterday lunchtime. What changed?”
Oh, hell. My father’s phone call. I’d been trying to block it out, but it had been there the whole time, tugging at the edges of my subconscious, yet another layer of shit making the day stink.
But what was I meant to tell Alaric? And how should I react to my father’s accusations?
“It’s nothing.”
“Beth.”
One word, and it cut me to the core. I couldn’t lie to Alaric. Since our second meeting, he’d done nothing but help me, and we couldn’t move forward with this huge secret between us. The only other option would be for me to quit my job and leave myself and Chaucer destitute.
“It’s…honestly, I’m fine with all the Gemma stuff. But…but there’s something else.”
He brushed the hair away from my face. “I’m listening.”
At first, I couldn’t speak, but then it all came out in one big vomit of words. “My father called. Yesterday while I was out fetching lunch. And he said he’d spoken to people who knew your father, and in your past…that you’d stolen a ransom, ten million dollars, and I said you wouldn’t have done that, no way, but he said you definitely did, and that if I don’t keep away from you, he’ll cut me off completely. And I said some nasty things and then hung up, and now…now I don’t know what to do.”
“Fuck.”
“It’s not true, is it? Is it?”
Alaric moved away, back to the sofa, putting distance between us. I began to get a bad, bad feeling about whatever he had to say. A prickling in my spine, like ice crystallising from the bottom up.
“It’s true that I was accused of those things.”
“Did you do it?”
“You’ve got good instincts, Beth.”
“So you’re saying you didn’t?”
“No, I didn’t.” He shook his head. “I won’t lie to you. I promise you that.”
“Then what…? Why…?”
“I don’t know. Eight years later, I’m still no closer to the truth. The payment was for a painting, not a person, and somebody set me up to take the fall.”
The ice in both my spine and my drink melted as Alaric told me the story of Emerald, of the heist, the investigation, and the botched exchange. When he got to the part about people shooting at him, I almost threw up.
“You could have been killed.”
“And yet here I am. So you see now why I was so interested in Red After Dark?”
“You think it can lead you to Emerald.”
“If I achieve nothing else in life, I want to get that damn painting back. The diamonds were practically untraceable, and the chances of someone spotting a serial number from the cash are slim, but the painting…there’s only one Emerald. She’s unique.” He managed a half-smile. “And I hate losing.”
When I was a teenager, I’d felt that way too. Every time I rode into a dressage arena, or cantered over the line towards a course of showjumps, or waited in the start box for a cross-country round to begin, I’d wanted to win. Marriage to Piers had almost made me forget what it was like to come out on top.
“Me too. So we’re going to keep looking?”
Alaric picked up his wine glass, swirled the now-warm Pinot Grigio, and drained the remainder.
“I’m going to keep looking.”
“But what about me? I’m part of this too, and I work for you.”
“I can’t be responsible for you losing your inheritance. Beth, I’m not worth it.” He held up a hand when I opened my mouth to protest. “Right now, you could still resolve things with your family.”
“What if I don’t want to? What if I want to stay with you?” Shit, wrong word. “I mean, work for you?”
At that moment, I was glad Alaric had put some distance between us; otherwise, I might have been tempted to throw myself into his arms. The thought of never seeing him again wasn’t one I wanted to contemplate.
“It’s too big a decision to make in a heartbeat. You were under a lot of pressure yesterday. And if you’re worried about money, I won’t see you stuck. I’ll pay you six months’ severance and loan you any more you might need.”