“And you too,” he adds quickly.
But that’s not really true, is it? I mean, how would that work? I have four years left of college. He’s only got one. I’m not going to graduate from High Court. That’s just never going to happen. He and Ax can’t hang around here for three more years after they graduate. I get that. This year is really more of a fantasy wish fulfillment thing for me.
I just want to fit in. Just once. Fit in and be like the other girls. I want to go to parties, and meet friends in the campus coffee shop, and stress about grades.
Grades. I’ve never had grades before. I’m excited about it.
I don’t know what will happen at the end of the school year, but I do know that I won’t be pulling into this parking lot on move-in day next year.
“I’ll be fine, Cooper.” He’s still looking at me. “It’s just a quick trip to the bursar’s office to pay everyone’s tuition. That’s it.”
Now Ax turns around in his seat too. “Thank you for that, Cades. I feel horrible about it, but I want you to know that I appreciate it. And I will pay you back.”
I smile at him. “You came this far. We all came this far. We’re not letting them win.”
“It’s a lot of cash.” Cooper sighs.
It is. I’ve already spent a lot of the money I earned at rush. The inn put me back almost three hundred grand. Plus, the renovations we’ve done in the last six weeks have come in at another forty so far. And I had to give the money back to the Chairman. He didn’t ask for it, but I couldn’t keep it.
It’s blood money.
My parents’ blood money. I still can’t quite wrap my head around the idea that the Chairman killed my parents to cover for what his son, Dane, was doing. He’s far more ruthless than I could ever imagine. Jesus Christ. I mean he sat me up in his office last spring and lied to my face. All of it was lies so I would accept his check without questioning him too much.
I want him to go to prison for what he’s done. And Dane too. Everyone involved, actually.
Dante has promised to make it happen if we back him up and use his plan to gain power here at High Court.
Let it go for now, Cadee. This is the start of the life you always wanted.
I’m not going to think about sad things. I’m not going to get angry. I’m not even going to imagine the future and what might happen at the end of the year when Cooper graduates.
I’m just going to enjoy this.
All of it.
So I take a deep breath and push down my rage because it never gets you far. Ax explained this to me a couple weeks ago. And he should know, he’s been there. Rage has been his default setting for so long, he barely knows how to operate any other way. He told me, “Cadee, you can be angry. But if you stew in it, if you let it overtake you the way I do, then you’re going to turn into me. And that won’t get you far. So you just take deep breaths and tell yourself, ‘Success is the best revenge.’”
It’s not easy. But he’s right. Anger is a useless emotion that makes you take your eye off the prize. And the prize is worth way too much to take my eye off it now.
So I gave the two hundred seventy-five thousand back to the Chairman via wire transfer.
One semester’s tuition at High Court College comes in at a cool fifty-two thousand dollars each. And I promised to pay for everyone. That’s fifteen people—Cooper, Ax, Lars, Valentina, Selina, and Isabella, plus me and the eight pledges who stood by us when Cooper decided to cancel rush and move forward with Dante’s plan. I don’t have to pay for Dante or Mona, because Dante’s plan meant that he had to stay and Mona stayed with him. So their family estates are paying for them.
But still, I’m going to transfer seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars from my bank account to High Court College this morning. That’s why I’m heading to the bursar’s office.
So even though I will have more than a hundred thousand in my account after I pay tuition, it’s not enough to live on for very long when I’m the only one paying all the bills.
Free money, Cadee. That’s what I keep telling myself. It’s not even mine. It’s all Dante’s money and this is all his plan. So… whatever.
“I’ll pay you back too, Cadee,” Cooper says. “We all will.”
“I’m not worried about it, you guys.” I smile at them because they are both looking at me with concern. “And it’s hot in this car. Can we just go?”
Ax opens his door and flips the seat forward so I can climb out. Cooper gets out too and then we all meet up—me in the middle of these two massive men—and start walking towards the path through the woods that will take us to the campus.
When we reach the central gardens Cooper pauses and takes my hand. “Are you sure you want to go in there alone?” He nods his head towards the admin building.
“I’ll be fine, Coop. The bursar’s office is in the basement. I won’t even see your father. It’s no big deal. And you can’t be with me all the time.”
When I look over at Ax he’s jiggling his keys. My keys. I should just give him that car. It’s a true piece of shit anyway. And he loves it.
“What, Ax? Why are you looking at me like that?”
He glances over his shoulder at the admin building. “I don’t know. I’m having second thoughts. Dante’s plan has a lot of what-ifs. And you guys do have to admit, it’s fucking crazy. The whole thing is crazy. Do we really need to graduate? Can’t we just transfer somewhere else?”
“No.” I am adamant about this. “High Court College, Ax. It’s a big deal. And you’ve come so far. You can’t quit now. No one will care that you went here for three years. They will only see the name of the school you graduated from. We have to stick it out.”
He looks at Cooper, hoping he’ll agree with him.
But Cooper won’t. He knows I’m right. Ax knows it too. But if it weren’t for us, he’d already be gone. He truly does not care where he graduates from. Or if he graduates at all. But Cooper and I do.
Well. I do, at least.
I want this year. I really, really do.
Cooper could probably take it or leave it. I think he might only be doing this for me.
He looks at me. “Where are you going to be after? The Capstone meeting is scheduled to run two hours, so you’ll be done before me.”
I nod my head in the direction of the cafeteria building. “The coffee shop is open. I’ll be in there.”
“OK.” Cooper sighs. But he’s got a hold of my hand and he’s reluctant to let it go.
“I’m going to be fine.” Then I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss him. And when I pull back, he releases my hand.
“Two hours.” He points at me. “I’ll see you in two hours.”
“OK.” I smile and then turn away and start walking towards the admin building.
It’s hot out today. And busy. Students are everywhere and the energy on campus is high.
I’m so… excited.
I’ve never been to school before. Not real school. And this is like the ultimate real school experience.
There is a large group of kids outside the bookstore and I pause, then look over my shoulder to see if Cooper and Ax are still around. But I just barely catch a glimpse of Cooper’s white t-shirt before he and Ax disappear into a crowd.