“Oh. Is this about a guy?”
“The guy, really.”
“Wow. I never thought I’d hear you say that. When everyone was going boy crazy at school, you had your nose in a book. But I guess it had to happen eventually.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “What’s he like?”
I lie back on my bed and stare up at the ceiling, but the only thing I can see in my mind is Cillian. “He’s wonderful. Perfect, really. He’s gorgeous, has a wonderful family, and we get along so well. I can talk to him for hours about anything and everything. And it never gets boring.”
“Why am I sensing a ‘but’ here?”
“Because there is one. A huge one.”
“Let me guess; your dad’s rules?”
“He fires employees for dating each other. Says it messes with the family dynamic he fosters among his staff. So, I don’t know… I kind of just want to quit so Cillian and I can see each other. But with the way Dad reacted when he saw me with him, I kind of think he’d fire him anyway, just because he touched his little girl.”
“You’re hardly a little girl anymore,” she points out. “He’s gonna have to realize that someday.”
“You’d think that, wouldn’t you? But I don’t know. Cillian and I were only talking and he kind of freaked out. And Cillian’s on track to becoming head chef, so dating me could ruin his whole career plans. It’s a bit of a mess.”
“Wait. How old is this guy? If he’s on track to be head chef, he’d have to be what? Mid-twenties?”
“Try thirty-three.”
“Jeez, Hazel. No wonder your dad’s freaking out.”
“Don’t you start with the whole ‘I’m too young to know how I feel’ thing, Trish. I couldn’t take it if it came from you too.”
“I’m not. I promise. I’m just worried about you. You’re telling me you’re into some thirty-three-year-old guy, and you sound really upset. Besides your dad getting in the way, has something else happened?”
I close my eyes against the sudden burn pushing at the back of them. “Yes,” I whisper.
“Then why don’t you tell me everything? Maybe we can figure this shit out together,” she says, her voice so kind that I can’t help but spill my guts to her. I tell her about the date that didn’t happen, the dinner with his family, and how miserable I was all week without him. Then I tell her about today, the farm, the strawberry, and the almost kiss. And then I tell her about the way he spoke to me in the car…
“It really hurt me, Trish. Right up until that moment, he was amazing. Kind and gentle. Then he had an about face and told me I was nothing but a little kid, and all he was doing was trying to get me into bed so he could ruin my innocence and dump me.” I sniff and wipe my eyes. “It didn’t make any sense.”
“Maybe he was just trying to chase you away?” she suggests.
“I don’t want him to chase me away. I just want him to want me.” A big fat tear slides down my cheek.
“You know what you need?” she says after a moment.
“A lobotomy?”
“No.” She laughs. “That’s a bit dramatic. You need to show him what he’s missing. Convince him he’s wrong. If you think you’re meant to be, then I think you should just go for it. Consequences be damned.”
“I don’t want him to lose his job, Trish. It’s obviously important to him.”
“Then you have to convince your dad to make an exception. Surely his daughter’s happiness is more important than some stupid work rule?”
“You’d think that, wouldn’t you?”
“I know that. And if this Cillian guy is really as great as you say he is, he’ll think your happiness is more important too.”
“You’re right,” I whisper. “I’m being a doormat again, aren’t I?” Something she used to remind me not to be in school.
“A little.” She giggles. “But, don’t you worry, boo. I’ve got your back. While I’m around, no one gets to wipe their feet on you. You stand up strong and you fight back like the Hazel I know and love. OK?”
“OK,” I say, taking a deep breath and feeling a hell of a lot better after talking to her. The last few years haven’t been the easiest, but having Trish as a friend has helped me get through. I’ve been feeling a bit lost without our friendship since I got back to Boston. So, it’s great to reconnect with her and remember why I need her. “And thanks, Trish. I needed to hear you say that.”
“Just don’t neglect to call me for so long next time. I hate thinking of you struggling out there by yourself.”
“God, I’m such a mess, aren’t I?” I say with a laugh, clapping my hand over my face.
“You’ll find your way, Haze. And if that way is with Cillian, then you’re just one step closer, right?”
“I miss you,” I say, releasing yet another heavy breath.
“I miss you too. Update me soon, OK?” she says, and I promise I will before we disconnect the call, just as my dad gets home.
“You OK?” he asks, after knocking on my door and finding me lying in bed.
“I’m fine,” I tell him. “I’ve just got cramps is all.” I offer him a wan smile.
“Do you need me to get you a hot water bottle?”
I shake my head. “I think I’m just going to try to get some sleep.”
“OK, kiddo. Let me know if there’s anything you need.”
I nod. “Thanks, and Dad?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“If I told you I met someone and was thinking about maybe dating them, what would you say?”
He pulls his head back like I just poked him in the eye and blinks a few times before he answers. “Well,” he says slowly. “That probably depends on who it is and how you met him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you meet him at work, or did you meet him in a social setting?”
I frown, already knowing where this is going, but still wanting to test the waters. “I met him in a social setting,” I say, hating that I keep having to bend the truth to talk to him about this.
“Then I’d like to know what he does with his time and how old he is.”
“It’s new,” I say, avoiding giving the answers to those questions. “I’d have to get back to you.”
“OK.” He smiles. “Then get back to me.” He places his hand on the door and moves to close it. “Until then, my answer is no.”
“Dad.” I call him back, and he meets my eyes, brows raised. “A no? I’m eighteen. Why do you even get a say?”
“If I don’t get a say, why did you ask me what I’d say?” He tilts his head as he pokes holes in my logic.
My mouth falls open, and I blink a few times, trying to get my thoughts straight. “I guess I just wanted to know if you were still going to treat me like a child or if you were going to trust me to make decisions like an adult.”
“Making decisions like an adult requires that you behave like an adult, Hazel. And so far, I haven’t seen a lot of that happening. Skipping out on work, doing a half-baked job while you are there… Does this boy you’re seeing have anything to do with that?”