She laughed. “Or something? Annie, it sounds like he was crazy about you. Guys don’t go to those kinds of lengths for women they’re iffy about. He must’ve been into you from the moment he saw your picture.”
“What are you saying, that what he did was okay?”
“Mmm, maybe not exactly.” She glanced to the side, as if something had occurred to her. “Did I ever tell you about how Dean and I first met?”
I considered the question. “It was…oh yeah! You guys met at the grocery store in the frozen food aisle or something, right?”
“Close,” she said, the memory bringing a smile to her face. “It was in the ice cream aisle. I was getting some Ben and Jerry’s, trying to decide between all the flavors. And then I spotted this insanely, and I mean insanely handsome guy in the aisle with me. He was looking at the ice cream too, and he glanced over and smiled, said you can’t go wrong with Cherry Garcia.”
Her excitement was infectious, and I found myself smiling along with her.
“Anyway, I asked him what his favorites were, and he told me. We started chatting about ice cream, and then I mentioned this new place that opened downtown that I’d wanted to check out. He picked up on the hint and asked if I wanted to go with him instead of the two of us eating pints alone in our apartments.”
“That’s so freaking adorable.”
“I’m not done,” she said with a grin. “So, we go to the ice cream place and I was feeling quite indulgent. I get the biggest sundae they had, but Dean seemed…I don’t know – kind of weird. Like he was apprehensive. I asked if he was cool, and he assured me he was. Then he told me he was pretty competitive, so he got the biggest sundae too.”
“So far, so good,” I said.
“So we go to town, eating our ice cream and getting to know each other. The attraction was instant, and before too long we’re playing footsy, and then Dean asks me to come back to his apartment. I said yes, of course, and we’re not even in the hallway before we’re all over each other.”
A wave of sadness flowed through me, the story reminding me of my own attraction to Duncan, how hot and irresistible it’d been.
“But when we get into his apartment, I hear a weird noise.”
“A noise?”
She nodded. “And then…a smell. A very, very stinky smell.”
“What was it?”
“Well, Dean gets a weird look on his face but tries to play it cool, going back to kissing. Then I hear it again. And then I smell it again. This time there was no denying what it was.”
It hit me. “No way.”
“Mhmm. He was farting. And they were all kinds – squeaks, toots, honks, big bassy ones. Totally out of control.”
I started laughing. I couldn’t help it.
“He excuses himself and runs to the bathroom. He’s in there for a while, and when he comes out, he looks at me like he was shocked I was still there.”
“He just had gas or something, right?”
“Not exactly. He had gas, sure, but not random, too-many-beans kind of gas. He looked like he had something he needed to tell me, something he felt totally guilty about.”
“What was it?”
She grinned. “He said, ‘I lied. I don’t eat ice cream.’ And I was like, ‘Sure you do – I just saw you eat a half-gallon back there covered in caramel.’ And he says, ‘I did. But I can’t. I’m lactose intolerant’.”
My jaw about hit the floor. “He’s what?”
“Totally lactose intolerant – can’t eat a bite of ice cream without his guts going into full revolt.”
“But…”
Another nod. “But he ate an entire sundae without saying a word.”
“Why?” I asked on a laugh.
“Well, he was in the ice cream aisle, sure. But just to the right was all the non-dairy stuff. I’d asked him about the Ben and Jerry’s and he decided to go along with it for an excuse to talk to me. Little did he know how carried away it’d get.”
“So, then what happened?”
She giggled. “I had to make an emergency run to the pharmacy to grab him some stomach stuff. When I got back, we spent a little time waiting for his guts to chill out. And…that was it. We were inseparable from that point on.”
I couldn’t take the grin off my face. Whatever else, her story had put me in good spirits.
“Do you get what I’m saying?” she asked. “Dean looked me right in the eye and lied to me within the first two seconds of us meeting. But he did it because his heart was in the right place. He just wanted to get to know me, and a little white lie was how he did it.”
“Then…you’re telling me that I should just forgive Duncan for what he did?”
“Well, I don’t know.” She smiled at me. “That’s your call to make. But maybe show some empathy? I mean, think about it from his point of view. He meets his long-lost brother, and then finds out that his brother’s girlfriend is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. At first, he doesn’t do anything because, well, that’s his brother’s girlfriend. But then he finds out they broke up. He wants to make a move, but he can’t without revealing something you might not be okay with.”
“Didn’t I have a right to know? That’s not exactly a tiny detail.”
“You’re right – he should’ve handled it differently. But this is how love is, Annie. Maybe Dean should’ve told me he couldn’t actually eat ice cream and not lied to me right off the bat. But that’s life.”
I sighed, considering her words. “It’s not only that, though. Andrew wants to get back together with me.”
“Oh,” she said, waving her hand through the air. “That’s easy – don’t do it. You don’t get back with exes.”
“But what about the little fact that he’s Duncan’s brother?”
“Andrew’s going to have to get over it,” she said, shrugging nonchalantly. “He’s a big-time lawyer now – he can find some trophy wife or whatever. Stick to your guns.”
I sipped my eggnog. “So, you think I should be with Duncan?”
“It’s your call. But if you ask me, cut him a little slack. After all, if I’d been super strict about lies, I wouldn’t have an amazing family right now.”
As if on cue, Dean, tall and handsome as ever, popped into the kitchen. “Hey, babe!” He strolled over to Bethany and planted a kiss on her lips. “And hello, lovely sister-in-law.”
He pecked me on the cheek. “Howdy, handsome brother-in-law.” A thought popped into my head, and I couldn’t resist. “Want some eggnog, Dean?”
His eyes flicked down at the mug I held. “Oh, can’t do it – lactose intolerance.” He put his hand on his belly.
“Right,” I said. “So I’ve heard.” Bethany and I chuckled.
“Oh no,” Dean said, looking at his wife. “You didn’t tell her, did you?”
We both broke out into wild laughter.
“It was for a good cause,” Bethany swore. “I promise.”
Dean grinned. “Alright – I trust you.”