Something else I’d deal with in the morning. I was tired as hell, fried, ready for sleep. After dumping the rest of my whiskey into the sink and kicking off my shoes, I realized I didn’t even have it in me to make the trip up to my bedroom. I plopped down on the couch, making a mental note to be up first thing tomorrow and see Dad at the hospital.
As I drifted off to sleep, however, I couldn’t shake the notion that I was forgetting something.
It could wait until morning, whatever it was.
Annie
It was late, late in the evening on Christmas day. Technically, it wasn’t Christmas any longer. And I was in the worst mood of my life.
“Something happened,” Gia assured me. “Something had to have happened.”
We were at my apartment, Gia having come over earlier to drop off a Christmas present of some fizzy wine and cookies she’d made with her family. When she saw what kind of a state I was in, how miserable I was that Duncan had stood me up, she’d insisted on staying over.
“What could’ve happened that he didn’t even bother to send me a text to let me know? What the hell is wrong with him?” I stood up and began pacing back and forth, like I’d done so many times that night. “There’s no excuse. We finally talked, and I came to him open-hearted, ready to forgive him for what he’d done. And this is what I get?”
Gia rose and stepped over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “It’s okay.” Her voice was calm and sympathetic. “I mean, it’s not okay. And you’re right – it’s rude as hell for him to do something like this on Christmas of all days, especially with what’s been going on between the two of you.”
“So what am I supposed to do? Just forgive him? Pretend it didn’t happen?”
“Well, what do you want to do?”
“Is it even my call? He blew me off and didn’t say a word. I bet he had second thoughts after we talked and was too damn cowardly to confront me about them.”
“That’s a hell of a theory. But how do you know it’s true?”
“I have a feeling. And Duncan always went on about how you have to trust your gut.”
A wry grin formed on Gia’s lips. “Turning his own advice against him.”
“Something like that,” I said. “But you know what? Thinking about all this…I’m done.”
“You’re done?”
“I’m done. Here I am, starting a new life because of a relationship I had that went south. And now I’m right back where I was before, trying to pick up the pieces because of what some jerk-ass guy did to me.”
Gia said nothing, letting me rant, as if sensing I was in the middle of something important.
“Men…they’re ridiculous. They have this totally fucked up way of making themselves the most important thing in your life, making everything revolve around them in the most selfish way possible. You know better at first, but they always manage to win you over. And right when they do, at the exact second you’re ready to let your walls down and make room in your life for them, they start with this bullshit.”
I swept my hand toward my phone on the kitchen table, as if it were the source of all my troubles.
“They jerk you around, don’t give a damn about your feelings. And the worst part? When they pull this crap, they act like you’re the crazy one for getting upset.”
“What if he calls you tomorrow?” Gia questioned, playing devil’s advocate.
“What if he does? He’ll call, have some stupid excuse, and try to act like nothing’s wrong, or that I’m the weird one for having some kind of issue.”
“But what if it’s a good excuse?”
“I don’t even care anymore.” As I spoke the words, I wasn’t even sure if I meant them. But I was angry, furious. Not just at Duncan, but at myself.
“I’m tired of happiness being totally tethered to some guy and how he’s treating me. I made that mistake with Andrew, and I’m doing it again with his freaking brother.” I shook my head, as if in disbelief. “It’s like the universe is teaching me a lesson, you know? And because I didn’t learn it the first time, I get Andrew’s brother to teach it to be again.”
Gia watched me with concerned eyes. “Then…what are you going to do?”
I stepped over to my violin and placed my hand on the case. “I can’t control men, but I can control my own life. I can play my music, work my job, build my life here in White Pines. And I don’t need a damn man to do it with.”
Gia opened her arms, inviting me to come sit with her. I did, feeling terribly exhausted as soon as I sat down.
“Maybe you’re right,” she said. “Maybe it’s time to focus on yourself.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” I replied. “Just me and you and my family and the new life I’m going to make for myself here.” As I spoke, I felt more excited, more eager to get started. “I don’t need Duncan or Andrew or any other guy. I’ve got everything I need right here, right now.”
I reached over and checked my phone, my arm feeling heavy and sluggish. I was tired as hell.
“You know what I think?” Gia murmured. “I think you and I both need to get some sleep. You’ve been through a hell of a lot today.”
She was right. With each passing second, I felt more and more like I could just zonk out.
“The best thing to do about a big decision is to sleep on it,” she continued, running her hand over my hair. “Get some rest and decide what you want to do in the morning, okay?”
I nodded. “And you don’t have to stick around if you don’t want to.”
Gia gave me a little shove. “Are you kidding? You think I’m going to leave you alone like this. No way – you take the bed, I’ll take the couch, and we’ll do breakfast in the morning. If you’re going to start a new life tomorrow, you know I’m going to be here for it.”
“Thanks,” I said with a smile. “For everything.”
“Of course. Now, let’s get our asses to bed. And Merry Christmas.”
“You too.”
One more hug and we did our pre-bed routine. I was out like a light the moment my head hit the pillow.
I woke up the next morning to the sounds and smells of cooking food.
“Wakey, wakey,” Gia called from the stove.
My eyes were still bleary as I asked, “Eggs and bakey?”
“I think that means someone’s awake.”
“Kind of.”
I sat up, rubbing my eyes and trying to come back to the world of the living. The window was open, sunlight pouring in, extra bright from the reflection off the fresh, white snow. After sitting up and stretching, I put my feet on the ground and got up.
“Are you seriously making breakfast?” I asked. “You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s no problem at all,” she said. “You’re starting a new life, and I figured it’d be a nice change of pace from all the take-out we’ve been eating. Sit your butt down and let’s eat.”
I got up and plodded over to the table, dropping into the seat just in time to watch Gia put down plate after plate of sausage, eggs, and bacon. Of course, there was fresh coffee to go with it all.