“I’m sleeping in the guest bedroom tonight.”
“Babe—”
“I need to be alone, Ted. Please!”
Lifting his arms at either side of him, he tilted his head. “Okay. If that’s what you want tonight. But we’re not making this a habit, Danica.”
Danica didn’t bother to respond. She kept walking until she was in the guest room and closed the door behind her. She dropped her things on the floor and lay down, staring at the ceiling as the tears continued trickling down the sides of her face. She’d had some tough years in her life, but this last one topped them all. If this selfish asshole really believed she could just get over it, he was out of his warped mind.
Danica thought back to the day she’d met him. It’d been one of her frenzied days at the courthouse. He’d approached her saying it wasn’t the first time he’d noticed her and he just had to know her name. He’d asked if she’d have coffee with him. Of course, then he’d been so incredibly charming and humble and said all the right things. She’d already been blown away by his accomplishments, and he still had such drive. It was inspiring being around someone like him. In hindsight, his approach, like everything else he did, had likely been meticulously planned. Ted’s courting had been just as masterfully executed as everything else he set his mind on. She’d quickly fallen for him, despite the age difference.
But then the real Ted inevitably surfaced. By then, she felt indebted to him for all he’d done to help her with her case—her life. But at least she wasn’t living with him at the time. She’d planned on breaking things off despite all that months ago. Then Angie died, and Danica had been desperate for a place she could stay until she could figure out what she’d be doing about the baby. After giving up the baby, she’d been too miserable, and she knew her sister would question it if she crawled back to her. Ted was as smart as he was arrogant and controlling. He’d picked up on the fact that, without the baby keeping her there, she’d likely leave his ass if he didn’t stop with his controlling ways, so he’d eased up a bit, making it easier for her to stay there until she could figure out what she was going to do with her life. Only like tonight, she’d used her misery to keep him at bay.
There was a soft knock at the door before it was pushed open just slightly. “What time you get off work tomorrow?”
Closing her eyes, she didn’t bother to answer at first. What the hell did he care?
“Danica?”
“Noon, Ted.” Danica opened her eyes but didn’t look at him, nor did she bother trying to hide the annoyance in her tone.
“Perfect. I’m having an early breakfast with Blaine and Evelyn and then running some errands. I’ll meet you back here at noon. We’ll take a drive up the coast and have lunch at Geoffrey’s. Then we can take a walk on the beach after. We’ll grab some ice cream from that place you liked so much last time. Fix you right up.”
Danica didn’t say anything, just continued staring at the ceiling, struggling to resist the urge to scream obscenities and then throw something at him. Thankfully, his stupid ass closed the door after saying good night. Having to give up the baby was hands down the hardest thing Danica had ever done. But everything that led up to it made it so much worse. She knew now she’d never get over it. A fancy lunch at Geoffrey’s, some ice cream, and a walk on the beach with Ted’s insensitive ass was supposed to fix her right up? She brought her hands over her face now and sobbed quietly into them. She would never get over what she’d been forced to do. Ever. But one thing she knew she was absolutely over was putting up with Ted for the sake of her pride. So over it. The days of sobbing every single day as her heart ached to be with the baby might finally be over.
What she’d known all along that she’d have to do eventually was inevitable now. Her mind had started working on it even before she’d walked into the that auto shop today. Ted would not only protest her taking the job at the shop, he’d try to forbid it. Most of all, she couldn’t risk him finding out about her original idea: the second most precious job she’d been offered today. There was only one thing she could do now, and she wouldn’t be waiting a single day longer. Despite having made up her mind that she was moving out, it still didn’t stop her from doing what she’d done so many nights since she’d given up Oreo—crying herself to sleep.
“It’s okay,” Danica assured her best friend, taking the baby back and grabbing some tissue for her. “The doctor said it’s normal.”
“I don’t even want to hold my own baby.” Angie turned away crying, as if she didn’t even want to look at him now. “What kind of monster am I?”
“You’re suffering from postpartum depression, Ang.” Danica lifted the baby to her shoulder, kissing his little cheek. “Did you take your pills?”
Angie nodded. “I don’t know why sometimes they make me feel better,” she squeaked pathetically before falling back onto her pillow with a sob. “And then other times like today I can barely get out of bed.” She sat up suddenly, looking around. “I need to check my temperature.”
It was always the same thing. Angie checked her temperature obsessively. You’ve checked it enough, Ang. You’re fine. What time did you take your last pill?”
“I don’t know,” Angie said, looking down at her shaking hands. “What’s happening to me? I don’t even know what day it is. I can’t take this anymore!”
Danica rushed to put the precious baby down in his bassinet and hurry back to Angie to try and console her. Her heart pounded because she’d been hopeful the pills seemed to be helping with her depression, but today, she seemed so much worse.
“Dani,” she cried against Danica’s shoulder.
“Yeah?”
“What if I’m like my mom?”
Danica went stiff. “You’re not,” she said with conviction.
“But what if—?”
Pulling away from her suddenly, Angie stopped mid-sentence. Danica looked her straight in the eyes. “I would never let something like that happen.”
Danica’s heart beat erratically as she turned to her—Angie’s—sweet baby boy in his little bassinet.
Waking with a jolt, Danica clutched her heart. This was certainly not the first time in the past year she’d waken up in tears, but just seeing and feeling him in her dream had her heart yearning to hold him again. She’d been questioning whether she could actually go through with all the lying it was going to take to get him back in her life. But after feeling him in her arms again, all the lying would be absolutely worth it. She’d just have to try harder, and she could hardly wait now.
The next morning, she stood at Delia’s front door as they stared at each other for a few silent moments. Two suitcases sat at either side of Danica. The rest of her stuff was in the car, but she knew the suitcases were enough for her sister to know what this meant. Fortunately, they’d since made amends enough that this wasn’t the first time Danica had been back here since Delia kicked her out. She’d been back many times to see her brother Dominic, but her sister’s rules still applied if she’d ever wanted to move back in. Not that it mattered anymore anyway. She’d be more than able to comply with those rules. Delia moved back, opening the door wider and letting her in. “Are you in trouble?”