Now Orlando reached out for her hand and squeezed it. “It’s not your fault, baby. Sounds like you did everything you could.”
Nodding, Danica took a deep breath, feeling the overwhelming relief of finally being able to come clean about this to him, but she knew she still had to tell him the worst parts: the horrendous moment she realized Angie was dead and the part she was certain he wouldn’t understand and possibly never forgive her for. “When I got back from Oreo’s appointment, I thought she was asleep. I was happy she was getting a little break from the meltdown she’d had that morning. But when she didn’t wake after about an hour, I went to check on her and realized she wasn’t breathing, and she was cold to the touch. It’s when I noticed how many of her pills were gone.” Unable to go on because the painful memory completely overwhelmed her, she shook her head, closing her eyes. Like the first time she’d broke down in front of him, his arms wrapping around her felt heavenly, but it terrified her. Would this be the last time she’d be in his arms? Would he get past her selfishness of robbing him of those first weeks with his son?
Pulling away suddenly, Orlando’s expression soured. “That asshole hugged you again, didn’t he?” Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Danica lifted her blouse to her face then closed her eyes, pissed at herself when she smelled Ted’s cologne. In her haste to rush to Orlando’s, she hadn’t even thought to change her top. But of course, she nodded as she glanced up at Orlando. Even if there was any denying it, trying to lie to him was futile. “Hold whatever thoughts you have and take that blouse off. I’ll be right back.”
He rushed out of the kitchen toward his bedroom as Danica began undoing the buttons on her blouse. Orlando was back in seconds, holding a white T-shirt. “I owe you two tops now because I’m burning this shit.” He took the blouse when she handed it to him, and he threw it in the trash as Danica slipped his oversized T-shirt on over her head. “I’d ask why the fuck you let him, but I know he’s a pushy prick, and there’s a lot of other more important things I need answers to. So, go on.”
It took Danica a moment to remember where she’d left off. “When I realized she was dead, I didn’t know what to do,” she said, inhaling deeply. “I was so scared they’d snatch the baby away from me and I’d never see him again. I was a convicted felon with a shady record, and she hadn’t even thought to leave instructions on who she wanted to care for the baby in case anything happened to her. She was only twenty-four and like me probably thought she’d get over the depression eventually.”
“So, what did you do?” he asked, searching her eyes.
“I took any evidence of the baby ever being there and took it to my sister’s and Ted’s. I didn’t even tell Ted or my sister she’d died. I was so scared.” She shook her head, hoping he’d understand the predicament she’d been put in. “I made an anonymous call to the paramedics from a pay phone I knew there were no cameras around. Ted had been asking me to move in with him for months, and once I knew I couldn’t go back to the apartment I’d been living in with her, I agreed to move in with him. I wasn’t on the lease, so they couldn’t trace the baby’s whereabouts, even if they finally figured out she had one to begin with. But even then, I didn’t tell Ted or my sister that Angie had died. Delia didn’t even know he was Angie’s baby. I’d gotten in so much trouble in the past, and my sister blamed Angie and Juanita. My continued friendship with them was the reason why she kicked me out to begin with.” She explained how she’d told Ted Angie just wasn’t doing well with her depression and it was why she had to keep the baby with her at night. “Angie assured me she knew you were the father. You’re the only guy she’d slept with in the months prior to getting pregnant, but she said it’d been a one-nighter and she hadn’t spoken to you since. She said she’d went into the shop a few times when she was pregnant with the intention of telling you about the pregnancy, but she said you’d barely acknowledged her.”
Orlando winced. “I probably didn’t remember her. Still don’t.”
Danica shook her head, not wanting him to think she was trying to make him feel guilty. “She said the same thing. It’s why she decided she was better off just keeping it to herself. It wasn’t even until after he was born when she felt bad about me having to take on the full responsibility of the baby that she suggested I should reach out to you, but I assured her I was fine looking after him. More than fine. I was hopeful she’d be better soon, and then maybe she could walk into the shop and introduce him to you. I was certain you’d fall in love with him like I had so quickly.” The emotion she was feeling over the topic but also the fear of what would happen now between them was ongoing. Swallowing hard, she went on. “Never in a million years did I imagine things would go down the way they did. But as the weeks passed, Ted began to question when we’d have a night without the baby, when we’d have a day to ourselves, and I had no choice but to tell him the truth. If he’d been impatient before, he got even more so after, especially because he knew I knew who the father was. I just never gave him a name. Almost from the moment he knew Angie was dead, he began insisting I take the baby to his father, but the thought of giving him up and never having the opportunity to be around him at that point was utterly suffocating. I even . . .”She paused for a moment, hesitating to tell him the next part as the pain from the boulder in her throat mounted. But as usual, those eyes had her blurting out the rest. “I even considered running away with him.” She shook her head at the foolish thought. “But I had enough legal issues as it was. It’s why I didn’t just take him to you and tell you what had happened. I didn’t know if you’d be angry that I waited weeks to do so. I couldn’t risk you pressing charges, so I staked out the shop to make sure you were home when I left him. Hardest day of my life.”
Orlando tipped his head. “I know now why the baby took to you the way he did from the very first day. But how’d you know I would?”
“I didn’t.” She shook her head adamantly. “The idea of trying to at least get to see him every now and again didn’t even come to me until after I’d given him up. I knew it’d be hard to be without him, but I hadn’t anticipated how utterly excruciating it was.” The tears were back as she thought back to that horrid time of her life. “My heart yearned to have him back in my life. I’d heard Beast mention your receptionist being out on leave the day I went into the shop with Ted,” she continued to explain as Orlando dabbed her tears with a tissue. “The evening I went into the shop, my only expectation was to be able to see him, but then Nine mentioned the messy counter and the shop’s need for a receptionist again, and I had a thought. If I could get a job there, I might be able to at least keep tabs on how the baby was doing and see him if you ever brought him in. So, I mentioned bringing in my resume.”
She told him how she’d overheard Orlando talking to his mom on the phone that evening about needing to find a nanny. How she’d tried to lie about being a child therapist and even thought she might pull off saying her name was Delia in case they did a background check, but all her lies fell through and she spilled the truth whenever she looked into his eyes. “I considered coming clean weeks ago, but then we had that conversation where you mentioned being pissed about being robbed of the baby’s birth and the weeks after Angie’s death.” The sheer terror of losing the baby washed over her suddenly, and she felt her face scrunch again. “Orlando, I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t bring myself to part with him. Especially because I didn’t know how you’d react to him. I was all he had. If I’d known you’d be such a wonderful dad, I would’ve handed him over immediately.”