“Madison—”
“They can’t meet yet. Give her time to get used to what’s happening with us first.” I waited, watching until he gave a slight dip of his head. “Again, come whenever you want. Call her whenever. But for now, we’re figuring out our lives from here.”
His mouth parted, and I knew from his expression that he was about to argue.
“My only support system is here. Raf, please don’t fight me on this.”
Long seconds passed before a breath rushed from him. “Jesus, you’re so calm.”
A shocked laugh left me. “What?”
I was pretty sure I’d just called his girlfriend a fucking whore . . .
“I just . . . I don’t know.” He rubbed at his forehead. “I expected you to hate me.”
“Oh, I do.”
He gave me a dry look. “Expected you to yell a lot. Cry. Especially when we told you . . . you know.” He lifted his free hand and then it disappeared from view. “I’ve been worrying that you’ve been depressed or not okay or something . . . I don’t know. But you seem so calm.”
I should’ve been yelling and crying. I should’ve been much less okay than I was. I knew that. Any wife hopelessly in love with her husband probably would’ve been if put in my situation.
But I had never been hopelessly in love with Rafael.
I’d loved him. I’d cared for him. I’d respected him.
Maybe that’s why he found someone who worshipped the ground he walked on.
My head shook in a vain attempt to push that thought away, and I focused on him. “Well, I’m angry and it hurts and I do hate you. But at the same time, I had to realize that it happened, and I couldn’t change it.”
Rafael’s head bobbed slowly. “I am sorry, Madison.”
“No, you’re not,” I whispered. “If you really were, you wouldn’t have done it at all. You wouldn’t have done it for years.” When he just nodded, I muttered something resembling a bye and ended the call, not really knowing how to end calls with him anymore.
The first had ended with screaming. The next two had been all kinds of awkward, one of us snapping, “Anything else?” while the other said something along the lines of, “Go to hell.” Tonight was progress. It was almost . . . good?
If talking to your soon-to-be-ex-husband could ever be considered good. Especially when you see his girlfriend’s boobs and call her names.
I began turning toward the house but stopped when a truck pulled into the driveway. My brow furrowed as I strained to see past the low glow of the headlights in the early evening sky.
As it rolled to a stop, I took a step forward.
Blood pumping and heart hammering as my mind raced. As I wondered why I wasn’t running into the house. Deep down, I knew this was Amber. Not Seattle. That there were truly no strangers here.
Still, I should’ve backed away. Not gotten closer.
And then my heart came to an excruciating halt when the door opened and the driver stepped out.
Hunter Dixon.
Looking just as handsome as he always had in faded jeans and a white tee that stretched and formed over his muscles. Old baseball cap pulled low over his eyes like he was anxious.
And I felt that anxiousness in my bones.
Because that was my soul standing a dozen feet away, and I didn’t know how I was ever supposed to get it back.
If I could.
If I was allowed that.
But the closer and closer he came to me, the more I ached to reach out. To touch him. To be held by him. Anything to have that connection I’d been sure was gone forever. And it made me feel like the worst kind of person considering what was happening in my life.
“Madison.” My name was a deep rumble as he came to a stop just feet away from me.
“Hi.”
He sucked in a deep breath and shifted the bill of his hat up just slightly. “I was told to give you time . . .”
“I heard.”
The corner of his mouth lifted, making one of his dimples peek out at me for a brief moment.
And damn if it didn’t do things to me. Have memories rushing forward and a tendril of heat curling through my stomach.
“I wanna do that.” His head shifted into the beginnings of a nod before shaking instead. “I know I probably should.”
“You managed this long.” It was a nervous tease, almost as if my mind and voice didn’t know how to interact with him properly anymore.
“Right,” he said on a jagged breath. “And if you ask me to, I’ll get back in my truck.”
I knew he would without hesitation. That’s how Hunter had always been.
“Um . . .”
In that single word, his shoulders dipped. His head lowered a fraction as if accepting what he’d assumed my response would be.
I gestured behind me. “My daughter is still awake.”
His blue eyes found mine, question and uncertainty and need swirling within them.
“She’s going to bed . . .” I glanced at my phone and saw it was almost a quarter ’til eight. “Now. But I’d really rather she doesn’t see you.” I started to explain why but forced my mouth into a firm line.
I didn’t want to go into all the reasons why. He didn’t need them.
Hunter glanced up at the house behind me, nodding faintly as he did. “Yeah, okay. I can, uh . . . I can—”
“Wait?”
His stare snapped to mine again.
“If you want,” I backtracked quickly. “You don’t have to. You’re probably busy.”
“I’ll be here.” It was a swift and adamant reassurance, and it had a smile tugging at my lips.
“Okay then. I’ll be back.” But even as I said the words, I struggled to find the will to move. To even look away from him.
Avalee. I need to take care of Avalee.
I forced myself to turn, but with each step, I could feel his eyes on me. Sending warm shivers down my spine.
Could feel my soul reaching back. Begging me not to walk away from him again—if even for a moment.
Could feel the wild rhythm of my heart. Crying out in an irrational combination of pain and joy because I didn’t know how I was supposed to survive this.
I sucked in a startled breath and brought my free hand to my chest when I stepped into the house and found my mom there. Worrying her neckline. Staring at me with all the concern in the world.
“Christ, Momma.” I forced out a stuttered exhale and mentally shook myself as I shut the door behind me. “What’s wrong? Is Avalee—”
“She’s fine,” she murmured quickly, her head bobbing faintly. “She’s fine, I just . . .” She briefly pointed at the large, shuttered window that framed the door. “Oh, Madison, please be careful with that young man.”
I stilled as I started around her on my way to the stairs. My eyes darting to the door and then back to my mom. Voice cautious when I asked, “What . . . why, Momma?”
When she faced me, tears clung to her lashes.
“Momma . . .”
“We lost our girl, missed so much of your life and Avalee’s, because of whatever happened with you and Hunter.”
My stomach fell along with my expression. “No,” I managed to say as she continued.