All of it.
But there hadn’t been a rational thought in my mind until the damage was done.
“Savannah, I threw the first punch. And the second. I attacked him.”
She looked at me indifferently. “He should’ve accepted them. Tried to stop you.”
“It’s Beau,” I tried to reason.
“I know that,” she ground out. “But he knew the consequences.”
“Savannah, what they did?” I slashed a hand through the air and let it fall to my lap. “I can feel it, I know what Madison told me is the truth. And even knowing how it happened, I’m pissed and hurt and . . . I don’t know. I can barely process it. I mean, I get it. They didn’t know. They thought it was us. But, my brother and Madison betrayed me. Their actions and decisions changed my fucking life.” I pressed my hands to my chest. “That’s where I’m at.”
She covered her face with one of her hands as the tears finally slipped free.
“But you’re talking about Beau like it’s game over. Savannah, you’re talking about ending your marriage over something that happened before it began.”
“Hunter, the only part of this we share is what they did. Madison just came back after being gone for thirteen years. I’ve been married to Beau for over ten. And he just fell back into this darkness, this rage that is toxic and addictive to him.”
“That I pushed him into,” I gently argued and then groaned. “I don’t know why I’m the one defending him. I fucking hate him right now.” I looked to my brothers for help, nodding to Sawyer in thanks when he took over.
“We’re difficult to handle,” he began. “You know that better than anyone. We all have our own shit that’s frustrating, I know. We know. But when it comes to you and Rae and Emberly . . .”—his stare shifted to me—“when it comes to Madison? We’d be . . . God, I’d be lost without Rae.”
Cayson grunted in affirmation.
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her,” Sawyer went on. “You hear people say it, and it sounds dramatic as hell. But if it came down to it, I know I would die for her.” He placed his hand on the table, close to Savannah. “And Beau’s fucked up, yeah. But, Savannah, you have always been everything to him. This place where that addiction you just mentioned doesn’t exist. He’s beyond protective of you and the kids, and he would do literally anything for y’all. But Beau? He wouldn’t just die for you—he would die if you asked him to. No questions asked.”
“As insane as that last part sounded,” Cayson muttered, “Sawyer’s right.”
“I appreciate y’all, I really do,” Savannah said slowly. “I just . . . I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that he slept with her or that I’m sleeping without him for the first time since before we got married. I just don’t know how this is happening with us. I dunno. I need time to think.”
Cayson tapped my arm and gave me a look that said we should leave when I glanced at him.
“You need help with the kids?” Sawyer asked when we all began standing. “Want us to watch them so you can have some time?”
“No, I need my kids,” she said quickly.
“All right.” He wrapped her up tight, whispering softly for a moment before stepping away. “Need us, we’re here.”
A soft cry tumbled past her lips, her head bobbing a little shakily.
I watched Sawyer jog away to go find the girls and looked back as Cayson released her from a hug. Once he started heading out of the kitchen, I pulled Savannah into my arms and held her while she cried.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered softly. “I’m sorry you found out that way, and that I was the reason behind it.”
“Stop,” she choked out. “I needed to know. I probably wouldn’t have found out if he hadn’t been forced to tell me.” When I stepped back, she looked up at me with her tear-streaked face. “I’m sorry for you too. I know you still love her. That you’ve waited for her. Then for her to come back and this come out . . . I’m sorry, Hunter.”
I offered her a sad smile and took another step back before swaying to a stop. “When Beau realized what was happening—why I was here—he looked afraid in a way I’ve never seen him. I think that’s why he lost it. Why he snapped. Because you were about to find out, and I think he knew he was gonna lose you.”
She nodded after a moment but didn’t say anything else.
I passed where Emberly was waiting at the entrance to the kitchen with Levi and continued outside where the others were.
“Brutal,” Sawyer mumbled when I joined them.
My eyebrows lifted knowingly.
“Hard seeing both of y’all like that,” Cayson said in agreement. “Is it something you think you’ll ever be able to get past?”
“Yeah, I dunno,” I said as I placed my hat back on my head. “It’s confusing as hell because it feels raw, but then I remember it happened thirteen years ago. So much shit has happened since then. And I don’t know if Madison is even talking to me at this point.”
“What?” Sawyer said as Rae asked, “Wait, why?”
My stomach dipped when I realized what I’d done. My gaze snapped to Cayson, but he just shrugged. Giving me a look like it was on me if I told the others what I’d been hiding in my life. Who.
“Fuck,” I ground out as I pulled my baseball cap low over my eyes. Dragging a deep breath in, I told them about Izzy and me, keeping to the bare minimum. From how we began, when and how things had changed between us, to how it all fell apart both times Madison came back to Amber.
When I finished, Cayson stood there, holding Emberly against his chest with a sympathetic expression.
Sawyer looked like I’d just blown his mind.
Emberly slowly looked to Rae, eyes wide. “Are you making this into a story?”
“Oh, I’m totally making this into a story,” Rae whispered.
“The fuck?” Sawyer said softly, head shaking. “How did I not know—wait. Savannah just asked me if anything had ever happened between you and Isabel.”
“When?”
A huff left him as he thought. “I don’t know . . . last week?”
“Madison,” Cayson and I said at the same time.
“She didn’t know what was going on between Isabel and me,” I continued, “but she could tell something was by the way we responded to each other that morning.”
“Damn,” Sawyer muttered. “So, that’s just how you and Madison are gonna leave it? After everything y’all went through to get back to each other, y’all are just gonna stop talking to each other?”
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “I told you, Saw, I don’t know.”
“Maybe she was right then.” He lifted a shoulder and gave me a challenging look. “Maybe you made a mistake.”
My jaw ached from the sudden pressure I put on it. “I didn’t. But that doesn’t change what’s happened or what we know now. It’s only been a few days,” I quickly added when he started speaking. “Maybe in a few more, I’ll go talk to her. Right now, I can’t.”