There was still one thing he knew how to do—which had gotten him through more than one desperate situation—and that was make a quick decision.
HALF
In the space of several months, Richard had put on weight again, his outline had thickened, but he didn’t give a damn. Never mind about my waistline, he smirked, crushing Dan in his arms like a brute.
They sat down at a small, austere table, facing each other amid the noise of the room.
I always gain a few pounds in winter, he said.
In warm weather, he melted. Without abstaining from fat, or sugar, or alcohol, which pissed off more than a few people and turned girls’ heads as soon as the sun came out. At thirty-seven, he still led the pack with his handsome bad boy looks. That thought comforted him as he gazed after Dan, while the latter went through the door and headed with furtive steps down the hall. If he had to choose, he’d rather be in his own shoes than in that guy’s. Be half alive rather than half dead. A matter of temperament.
Richard rubbed his chin for a moment, thinking of Mona and the falling-out she’d had with her mother. He’d deal with that all in good time. At least they hadn’t demolished the place. If only these little spats were as bad as things got in life. Nothing to make yourself sick over. Dan wanted everything to be clear, no misunderstandings. There weren’t any. There couldn’t be. Mona was Richard’s daughter. That fucking Dan, he mused, shaking his head. He stood up with a smile and went about his business.
LIGHTNING
If Nath had hoped to enjoy a moment’s peace, take advantage of there being no Mona (who really could get her goat), it didn’t work out that way. She should have figured as much. She wasn’t twenty anymore, nothing should have surprised her. She finished grooming Scotty—a white, belligerent toy poodle—with clenched teeth, then pulled on an anorak and went out for a smoke.
She crossed the parking lot to stand in the sun and think, but thinking got her nowhere. Marlene was coming. She was almost here. And being in the sun didn’t get her anywhere either, as the east wind was biting and she felt no warmth, no softness caressing her face. At times, life seemed like nothing more than that, light without effect, a dead reflection, a trap, a sick joke. You always got screwed.
Wait till you meet her, she said.
Dan was no picnic either, in his way, but at least she didn’t have to live with him.
I’m cursed, I swear, she continued.
Dan studied the pictures in an album she’d opened for him. He’d heard about Marlene but had never met her in the flesh. Nath never brought her up. In fact, he’d almost forgotten she had a sister. In a photo of the two of them at age twenty, Marlene was the one wearing glasses.
While Nath was already sexy, luminous, and supple as a young stem, Marlene was stiff and dull, as if a black cloud had maliciously settled above her head.
That’s the long and short of it, said Nath.
Outside, the sun was at its zenith.
You see, she went on, if Marlene were here, sitting where you are, it would be raining buckets. It’s not a nice thing to say. She’s my sister. But some people are like that. Some people just attract lightning, or I don’t know, whatever calamity is nearby. I don’t need that.
Especially now.
Dan buried his nose in the mug of black coffee that was getting cold at the edge of the table. Nath liked it strong, put in three times the normal amount. Enough to give you palpitations.
She waited for Dan to leave before going to lie down a minute, then headed back to the salon to shampoo those miserable mutts who bared their fangs at her. She had to take advantage of every instant of calm she had left before that evening, when she’d go pick up Marlene at the station.
RAVIOLI
On the way, Dan stopped at the bank to deposit his pension check. It was a good time of day, there wasn’t much of a line—in garrison towns, most guys were overdrawn and preferred to make themselves scarce, hide out in the corner bar rather than hover wistfully around the tellers’ windows. He had known times like that, and still skirted the precipice when he occasionally went off the rails. He withdrew some cash, sent his mother a money order, and spent the afternoon at the bowling alley—maintaining the pinsetters, oiling the lanes, and so forth, three times a week—and when he got home after dark, Mona declared she was famished. He’d forgotten all about her and had grabbed a sandwich.
You shouldn’t have waited, he said.
Couldn’t find the can opener.
He pulled a hunting knife from one of the kitchen drawers and showed her how not to starve to death with a can of beef ravioli.
Watching her eat, he imagined her doing a survival exercise in enemy territory.
What’s so funny, she asked.
He shook his head with a satisfied smile, appreciating that she’d asked the question without undue hostility.
Mona wasn’t of a piece. Neither was the world. Besides, it was often in the evening, before he sank into the somber murk of his nightmares, that a ray of light filtered through and he felt he just might return to the surface.
You’ve got a healthy appetite, he said.
She shook her head with her mouth full. Then, pushing away her plate, she announced, I’m not sticking around this shithole forever. And as he didn’t answer, she added, I’ll see how it goes.
He remained silent. He was glad she wasn’t his daughter: he wouldn’t have to fret about her. All the same, she sure was ballsy.
CLIPPERS
Richard had gotten three months, but so what. That wouldn’t keep him from doing it again. They could lock him up as much as they liked. It made no diff, being shut up on the inside or the outside. Whether sitting still or driving like a maniac, the thrill was the same. The intoxication never subsided, and never had. With or without alcohol. With or without speed. The world flew by.
But that’s how it was in this country. That’s how they thanked you.
He raised his eyes to the guy shaving his head.
I’m getting out in three weeks, he said. Hold it for me till then.
The guy turned off the clippers. Yeah, but I’ve got somebody, he winced. That’s kind of a problem, know what I mean.
Richard turned and looked at the man over his shoulder.
All right, fine, said the other. I’ll hold it for you. Don’t have a cow.
Richard closed his eyes. All in all, he was anxious to get out.
MIST
Dan wasn’t curious, or was no longer curious, which amounted to the same thing. He wasn’t especially interested in knowing what she looked like and was in no rush to meet her. But Nath had called early that morning, just as he was noticing Mona’s hair in the shower drain and glaring at it in annoyance. Can you come, she’d asked. She hung up before he could answer.