She did up her coat, gritting her teeth as a blast of wind caught her in the chest.
Jonan pulled her into his side, putting his arm around her waist. She relaxed into the warmth and felt the ache in her chest start to subside.
‘Can you believe how late it is, or how early?’ She said with a yawn as they walked through the early-morning town.
A van pulled up in front of them and two men jumped out to unload poles and awnings. They started setting up the market stalls with surprising speed.
‘I can’t decide whether to go to bed or buy coffee.’
‘Let’s get some rest,’ Jonan said, pulling her closer. ‘It’s been a long day. We’ve got a lot to figure out tomorrow.’
They walked in silence for a few minutes. The air was damp and it was still dark, despite the efforts of the market traders to usher in the day. Beth got a strong whiff of bacon sandwich. Her stomach growled. She laughed, embarrassed by the speaking of her body, but Jonan just smiled and nudged her closer to him.
‘Jonan,’ she said, her voice small. She coughed, and then forced herself to speak louder. ‘We should talk about you and Amelia, about what she said. I know I told her I knew it all, and, to some extent, I do. But it was different, hearing her speak like that. I can see she still means something to you.’
Jonan sighed. ‘Of course she does. I’ve known Amelia for my whole life. We have a long and complicated relationship, but I’m not attracted to her any more. She was never who I thought she was.’
Beth swallowed. ‘Before we went to The Monk’s Inn, it felt as though something was happening between us. If it is, if it means anything at all to you, you really need to tell me what’s going on, and what Amelia really means to you.’ She took a deep breath, looking pointedly forwards, giving him time to decide what to say.
Jonan sighed and let go of her hand. He rubbed his hands together, cupped them over his mouth and blew on them to warm them. He rubbed one hand over his forehead, not noticing that his long blond hair was coming loose from the ponytail at the nape of his neck. ‘We were involved a long time ago. I was so young and Amelia was different then. She was best friends with my mother and Doriel. The three of them were virtually inseparable, so Amelia and I had to keep everything quiet. That’s why Mother went into seclusion. She found out what had happened between Amelia and I, and she was so angry that she left us. I was seventeen; Roland was fifteen. I felt so guilty. I had pulled my family apart and had no way to fix it. I couldn’t bear to look at Amelia afterwards. I blamed her for everything. That’s why I left with Doriel. I tried to persuade Roland to come, but he wouldn’t. He’d always adored Amelia and I suspect he was pleased to get me out the way and have her for himself.’
‘I can see that,’ Beth said. ‘But, wow. Your mother left him at fifteen? I can see why he’s so angry with her.’
Jonan nodded. ‘And with me. He feels I abandoned him too, and he’s right. I would do things differently now, but I wasn’t much older than him myself and I wasn’t thinking straight.’ They turned off the main road and crossed the grass outside Beth’s flat. Jonan stopped and leaned against the tree. Beth stopped too and stood facing him. Ever since her birthday party, she had thought of this as Jonan’s tree. She reached out and took his hand. It was freezing cold.
‘Doriel and I kept an eye on Amelia from a distance.’ Jonan seemed to be staring through Beth now, watching a place she had never seen. ‘Amelia had always been powerful, but she’d begun behaving strangely. We watched as she became more and more entangled with heavier energies. Then she started shielding herself and we couldn’t see any more. But with her being in the public eye, we can read the impact she’s having on others and it fits with the signature she was building before she started to shield. She works with the fear frequency, pulling people to her by making them feel threatened. She likes to be a saviour, to make others feel as though she’s their only option. She takes pride in hijacking people’s independence, and influences their decisions, their lifestyles, their choices. Her power was always there, but now it’s using her, rather than the other way around.’
‘But, Jonan.’ Beth clasped his hand between both of hers. ‘She’s your ex. You’re angry with her. Don’t you see how that clouds your judgment?’
‘It did, I’ll admit that. I was angry with her, and hurt that she didn’t fight for me when I walked away. But Doriel still loves her. She hates what Amelia is doing, but every day she looks for an indication she can win her friend back. Doriel is an Oracle. She sees the possibility of a future where Amelia can change, but that option is dwindling the more she uses her power to create fear. I know it sounds innocuous but by being in the public eye she has millions of people acting from a place of fear and defensiveness.’
‘I know.’ Beth took a deep breath. ‘I feel the dread whenever she’s in the room and I see what other people become when she’s around. But when we were together at the inn, I felt the intimacy between the two of you. I’m not stupid, Jonan. I know there was more there than ancient history.’
‘There is. You’ve seen my ears. You know I’m different. Well, Amelia is too. We don’t just share ancient history, we share heritage. We share differences in a world where everyone else fits. There is common ground there, because we understand the complexities and contradictions the other lives with every day. That’s partly why we happened. I was surrounded by people who had no idea, but Amelia understood and knew how to make life better. I wanted that.’
‘Didn’t you grow up with people like you?’
‘I grew up in London. I know we look different, but we were born into these bodies, on this Earth, through our mothers just like everybody else. The difference is that we remember things most people have forgotten. That gives us access to abilities most people don’t know about. Anyone can do this stuff, but most people forget the path when they incarnate. We remember. We were born to bring new energy to Earth and have been working at that our whole lives.’
‘But Amelia’s bringing fear. That’s hardly new.’
‘Amelia got distracted. Because she remembers so much, she knows how to work with energy at a high level and she is subverting it. That’s why she is dangerous. She has the ability to create panic and when people are afraid they make bad decisions.’
‘And you’re trying to stop her?’
‘We’re trying to win her over. So far, we’re not doing well and, right now, I’d settle for stopping her.’
A gust of wind made Beth shiver. ‘Come on, let’s go upstairs. It’s freezing out here.’
Jonan followed her in silence as she went into the hall and up the concrete stairs. Her hands were pink with cold as she fumbled the lock, but she managed to get the door open without drawing Laura from her bedroom. Putting her finger to her lips to signal Jonan to be quiet, she got two glasses of water from the kitchen, and then led him to her room. ‘There’s not much space in here, I’m sorry,’ she whispered, darting a glance at Laura’s bedroom door.
Jonan paused in the doorway.
‘Come on in,’ Beth said. ‘We’ll wake Laura if we talk out there, and I could do without her nosing about right now.’