“I guess. Stealing him back probably isn’t an option, huh?”
“I considered it.” I grab two beers from the fridge.
“Did you consider not giving him back?”
I hand him a beer. “Yeah. But what could I do? I always knew he wasn’t my dog.”
I’m trying to pretend I’m not dejected about this, but I know that Cookie knows I’m totally faking it.
In the living room, I lose my suit jacket and tie, remove my cuff links, and roll up the sleeves of my shirt. “Ah. That’s better.”
Cookie does the same.
“You had a good game tonight,” I say. “Three assists. That’s fantastic.”
“Thanks.” He lifts his beer in a toast.
“I have to say, it’s a different angle watching from above. You can really focus on the little things. Like when Murph came underneath you in the defensive zone when you were running around trying to get the puck out.”
He nods.
I talk about some of the other little things I noticed that we don’t have time to focus on when we’re on the ice.
“Glad you’re feeling better about this.”
“I’m not.” I grimace. “Just trying to make the best of it.”
“I guess that’s good.”
“What else can I do?” I sigh. “Actually…I’ve been thinking about what to do.”
“About…?” He pauses. “Lilly? Otis? Our asshole coach?”
“Fuck.” I duck my head. “I can’t do anything about Otis. And I think there’s no hope of fixing things with Lilly. But maybe I can do something about Coach.” I have some other shit to deal with, but I don’t mention that to him.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what Lilly said to me. About being afraid. She was right, of course. But what sticks in my head, playing over and over, is when she said being brave isn’t the same as not being afraid. It’s just deciding something else is more important.
My fear isn’t the most important thing. I have to stop being selfish and protecting myself.
Cookie nods slowly. “Not so sure about Lilly, but okay. What’s the plan?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“You know…” He takes a swig of his beer then pins me with a stare. “You don’t have to do it yourself.”
I squint at him. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying there’s a whole team who’s pissed and frustrated.”
I purse my lips. “Okay. Yeah.” Thoughts form in my head and energy fizzes through my veins. “Let’s do this.”
Chapter 21
Lilly
“What are you doing here?” I stare at my dad after letting him into my apartment, and then I move in to throw my arms around him. “I’ve missed you so much.”
He hugs me back. “Missed you too, chickpea. How are you?”
“I’m…” I choke up. “I’m okay.”
He draws away and studies my face. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s a long story. Come in. Let me take your jacket.”
He takes it off and I hang it in the closet, and he sits on the sofa.
“Would you like something to drink?”
“No, thanks. Come, sit.” He pats the sofa cushion.
I sink down onto the couch. “Why are you here?”
“I’m home.” He smiles, his eyes crinkling up, his skin tanned, his graying hair a bit shaggy. “I wanted to be home for Christmas.”
“Oh. Does Mom know?”
“No. I’m flying to Syracuse tomorrow.”
“Oh my gosh, she’s going to die.” I bite my lip. “You better hope she hasn’t changed the locks on you.”
He shakes his head, smiling. “I don’t think she has.”
“I don’t know. I’d be pissed at you.”
“I know you would.” He pauses. “Actually, you are, aren’t you?”
I bite my lip. “Yeah.”
“Lillian. I’ve been open with Mom about what’s going on. She understands.”
Maybe she does. I’ll let them figure that out, I guess. Maybe I don’t know everything that’s gone on between them. If it was me, I’d have not only changed the locks but sold the house and moved in with a hot boy toy. Ha.
“Do you want to stay here tonight? We don’t have much room, but there’s a couch.”
He shakes his head. “Thanks, but no, I flew in late last night and got a hotel room.”
“Okay. So are you home for good?”
“Yes and no. I’m home for now. I still want to travel more. But Mom and I are going to talk about that.”
“Okay.” Eeep.
“What about you? How’s your dog-walking business going?”
“It’s going great. Well, mostly.” I sigh, thinking of Otis. “I have quite a few customers and I’ve been making some money. I’ve been thinking about expanding, maybe offering doggie daycare.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “You’d need a place to do that.”
“Yeah, I would. Which would cost money. I even have someone who’s interested in going into business with me, she’s a dog groomer. But it’s something I can work toward.”
“That’s my girl.” He smiles and tilts his head. “Something else wrong? You don’t seem all that happy.”
“Well.” I look down at my hands and twist my fingers together. “I was seeing someone. And it didn’t work out. And I’m kind of…” My throat squeezes up. “Kind of b-bummed about it.”
“Oh no.” He reaches over and takes my hands. “I’m sorry, Lilly.”
“It’s okay. I’ll get over him. I was trying so hard to not get involved, to just look out for myself and get my life back on track, and…well, I tripped and fell into feelings.”
He makes a sympathetic noise. “Who is this guy? Should I go punch him?”
“Ha ha, no, don’t do that. He’s a hockey player. He knows how to fight.”