‘I can pretend… she’s easy on the eye and easy to be around.’
‘Yeah, you can. But, answer me this, if it’s so easy, why the hell have you been avoiding her since the moment we started travelling?’
If only you knew I’ve been avoiding her for far longer than that.
‘I’ve had work to do.’ It wasn’t a complete lie.
‘Mmmm.’ he replied. ‘I won’t lie to Perky.’ Trip shook his head as he spoke about Kendall.
‘I’m not asking you to,’ I assured him.
He walked back towards the door.
‘I think you need to know… She’s feeling lonely and vulnerable out there by herself. If you don’t act quickly to support her in your lie, she might well pull out before we even make Crete.’
‘She wouldn’t do that.’ Would she? Fear unravelled itself in my gut, that I might just lose her before our year together had even begun.
I knew I hadn’t been fair to her over the last week, by avoiding her and leaving her by herself.
‘I’m not so sure, and can you afford to take that chance?’
‘No,’ I reluctantly admitted.
‘Then I’ll leave you with this. You might be able to lie and pretend enough to fool Nonna and that pink haired woman outside.’ He tilted his head towards where we both knew Pearl was situated sleeping. ‘You might be able to persuade them into believing that this is a real marriage… but how much longer are you going to be able to lie to yourself that she doesn’t affect you?’
I shook my head at him in disgust and turned back to the Bourbon. As my hand grabbed around the neck of the bottle, I heard him speak again.
‘You’re avoiding her already; I can see it. How are you going to be able to touch her, to kiss her, when all eyes are looking at the happy couple? And how long will it be, Nic, before you’re ready to admit that you might actually like Barbara? Oh, and just for the record, for this life changing moment I can hear, Ticket To Ride by, of course, The Beatles.’
Saying nothing in reply I shook my head at his questions and his song choice, and having nothing to say I closed my eyes, shutting him out until the door clicked shut behind him.
Without pouring a measure into a glass, I swigged a mouthful from the bottle and drank it down, hoping to repress the emotions inside me.
You can do this, I thought resolutely.
Having listened to what Trip had to say and then washing it down with the swig of Bourbon, I was even more determined. I slammed the bottle back down onto the unit.
Hell, I was even going to enjoy being married to the woman who had trusted me with her life for the year we had, and then at the end of our time together I would let her go.
It was simple, it was a deal after all and nothing more.
Chapter Thirteen
Barbara
About an hour after Trip had come back out into the main compartment, Nico finally appeared.
From my peripheral view, I looked on mesmerised as the captivatingly beautiful man shrugged himself out of his suit jacket then loosened and removed his tie. It was as if he was trying to convince himself, or maybe me, that he really could relax. My eyes widened in disbelief after he dismissed the cabin staff when they automatically began to circulate around him trying to predict his every need, and he set about making a coffee. I looked up at him in surprise when he also placed a coffee down in front of me, and he offered me a perceptive smile. Then he lowered his tall frame down in the seat beside me and took my hand in his.
Already stunned at his actions so far, I watched even more surprised as he pulled out some heavy framed, rectangular glasses from his shirt pocket and put them on. Right up until that minute I hadn’t even realised he wore glasses. My hand was now being securely held on his lap and trying to ignore the warmth from his firm thigh seeping into my bare arm, I tried to relax enough to study him as he began to read the latest news headlines on his iPad.
A few minutes later, Trip offered me a nod and a quick smile at Nico’s arrival. With his family still sleeping soundly, he stood up from our seating area and left to go back to the cockpit.
Nico lifted his head from his iPad to watch Trip depart and after he was safely out of ear shot, he lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. I turned my head back towards him in surprise and as my eyes sought out his he offered up an apology.
‘I’m sorry I’ve had to work so much in the last few days, Barbara.’ His voice was deep and sounded like I imagined a soothing blanket would as it wound itself around me. I moved my shoulders suddenly to shake myself free of its pseudo comfort.
I took a quick look around the cabin and checked no one who was awake was near enough to listen to the conversation I wanted to have.
‘You bailed on me. You came up with this stupid idea, got me to agree and then left me to it.’
‘I did genuinely have work to do and I kept my promise and attended your therapy sessions.’ His tone of voice was all business as he let me know he wasn’t amused with my accusation.
I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes at him.
‘I need to be honest with you, Nico… seeing as you’re having so much difficulty in being honest with yourself.’ His long eyelashes flickered beneath his glasses and he swallowed deeply waiting for me to restart. ‘Spending all that time by myself in your house, without you in it, I quickly came to an understanding that I really don’t know much about you at all, and to be frank what I do know isn’t enough.’
‘I’m sorry, you’re right…I shouldn’t have left you alone.’ His tone changed again with acceptance.
‘No, you shouldn’t have. You came up with this idea in the first place… and yes, I know I was crazy enough to agree, but…’
He tightened his grip on my hand, like he was afraid I was going to pull it away.
‘Look, Barbara… It’s not much of an excuse, but I’m not used to having to think about anyone other than myself. It’s going to take some time to get my head around that.’
‘Well, news flash, we don’t have much time left… and to make it worse you’ve been holed up in there,’ I gesticulated towards the other compartment behind us with my empty hand, ‘since we left Vegas…I’ve had to play the part of your girlfriend in front of your friends and Pearl while you’ve… I don’t know, what have you been doing, working or just avoiding me?’
It was his turn to sigh and, give him his due, he began to look uncomfortable like I’d caught him out somehow.
‘I don’t know, I’m really not sure that this can work.’ I shrugged my shoulders at him.
A genuine look of concern flooded his features and then his left eye narrowed on me, as concentrating hard he tried to read further into my mind, behind the words I’d given him. I warmed slightly knowing that I now had his complete attention. ‘And now I’m sitting here with you, holding your hand… Now how do you feel?’
‘Confused,’ I answered truthfully, feeling a little calmer after releasing my frustrations from the last few days.
‘About?’ he questioned.
‘You blow hot and cold, and truly I don’t think you’re a man I can keep up with.’