Cruce takes my hand, pulling it over to rest in between his. “It’s been a tough few days—being back in Pittsburgh and away from you.”
“Same,” I admit, reaching over to put my hand on top of our others. I rest my head on his shoulder before saying, “There’s been so much craziness. The sudden calm seems like a disconnect. It makes the loneliness worse.”
“Have you been lonely?” he asks. “Without me?”
When I nod, he must feel it against his shoulder, because he leans over and presses his lips to the top of my head in a quick kiss. “I’ve been thinking logistics.”
“Of course you have,” I reply with a chuckle, lifting my head. “That’s your job.”
“Logistics about us,” he clarifies with a smirk. “This long-distance thing is not going to work for me.”
“Me either,” I say solemnly. “It’s best we break up, right?”
His eyes flare, practically bugging out of his head. “What? No! That’s not what I was going to say.”
Laughing, I squeeze his hands. “I was joking, and I could tell by the tone of your voice it wasn’t what you were going to say. But I am waiting with a little bit of anxiety here… so tell me, what’s the big solution for us?”
“I’ll move back to D.C.,” he says, pulling one of his hands free to bring it to the nape of my neck. He squeezes, then dips his head in closer to me. “I’ve worked it out with Kynan. I can base myself out of D.C., but I’ll have to travel to Pittsburgh some. Of course, I’ll have to travel sometimes for other jobs that come my way through Jameson.”
I drop my head as I think about his offer. Cruce’s fingers come under my chin, forcing my gaze back up. “I thought that would make you happy. You do want to be together, right?”
I nod, smiling through the tears starting to form. “Yes. I want to be together. I love you.”
Cruce goes unnaturally still, and I wonder if this was the wrong time to break that news to him. We’ve known each other just shy of a month, but what we’ve been through has bonded us closer than most. I’ve spent more time with Cruce over these last few weeks than I have with most of my friends combined over my lifetime. We’ve meshed hard and fast and I trust my heart, despite how little practice it has had with this tender feeling.
“Too soon?” I guess with a sheepish expression.
“No,” he murmurs, eyes still wide with awe. “Perfect timing, actually. I just… I wasn’t sure you felt that way. I know I do. Love you, that is.”
“Do you really?” I ask, not because I’m having a tough time believing it, even though this is new and all.
But mainly because it sounded extremely nice, and I want to hear it again.
“I love you,” he says candidly, staring deep into my eyes. “I want to be with you forever, whatever that means. I don’t want to be in a life without you by my side.”
My gaze moves outward across the street, watching the bustle of rush-hour traffic and the pedestrians coming off the Metro a few blocks down.
When I look back at him, I admit, “I’ve always been so closed off from life and people. I’ve never been a romantic or dreamy type of woman. Science was my life and my love for so long, but all it took was a few moments with you to realize my life was fundamentally lacking in something important. When I saw you get shot and sink into the water, I’d never known pain like that. My heart was so broken, and I instinctually knew I was suffering the pain of lost love. It’s how I figured out I loved you. It’s how I realized I was a changed person. Cruce… I don’t even know if I could go back to the same life I was leading.”
“What are you saying?” he asks tentatively.
I feel like I’m on the brink of metamorphosis. I’m making a gut decision based on feelings churning deep, but I think it’s the right thing. “I’m saying I think I want to back away from my work for a bit. I mean… I don’t even have any current work to do, but I’ve already got offers pouring in from all kinds of private corporations and even some governments who want to hire me. But… I don’t think I want that.”
“What do you want?”
“The dream,” I murmur, and my heart skips a beat over the way his expression warms with happiness. “I want you. A family—in our own time, of course. I want to learn how to cook and plant flowers in a backyard. Want to go to sleep with you every night, or as many as possible given your work. I think… I want to move to Pittsburgh with you.”
Cruce shifts to angle toward me, his hands coming to my shoulders. He looks hopeful and wary all at the same time. “Are you sure? You’re big stuff right now, Barrett. You could go anywhere in this world… command any salary you wanted. Your future is bright and set.”
“Not without you, it isn’t,” I say honestly. “And frankly… right now, I don’t want anything but you. I’d like to take a break to just enjoy my life for a bit.”
Cruce chuckles. “I bet getting kidnapped and tortured put things into perspective.”
I shake my head. “Nothing to do with that. You put things into perspective for me.”
“I did?” Cruce looks very triumphant right now, his chest puffed out a bit.
“You told me back on the island that when I got involved in my work, you believed the world could burn down around me and I wouldn’t even notice. And yes, that was probably true. But who I am now only wants the world to burn down around me with you by my side, because it wouldn’t matter as long as we are together.”
“I love you,” he replies simply, bending his head to get in closer. “Love you more than anything in this world, Barrett. I’ll give you whatever you want, but if it’s Pittsburgh, then I say let’s do it.”
“And the dream?”
“I’ll give you that, too,” he murmurs before moving in to brush a sweet kiss on my mouth. He pulls away, locking his determined eyes on mine. “Promise.”
EPILOGUE
Cruce
I point the remote control at the TV, flipping through the channels, but I don’t see anything that interests me. As far as comfort goes, this hotel bed has it going on. If I’m not careful, I might doze off, which would ruin the entire evening. I sit up a little straighter, pushing against the pillows I’d stacked against the headboard, and choose a news station that’s heavy on opinion and light on fact, knowing it will irritate me enough to at least keep me awake.
Barrett finally exits the bathroom, a waft of steam following. Her wet hair is wrapped in a towel, and she’s wearing one of my t-shirts. From personal experience, having lived with her for the last several weeks, I know she won’t have any panties on under it.
I glance at the clock, noting I still have a few minutes, then watch as she trudges my way. She makes it to her side of the bed and falls face-first onto the mattress, groaning with extreme exaggeration. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this tired in my life.”
“Preach it, sister,” I reply, because I’m feeling the same level of exhausted.
We’ve just completed the last day of a four-day trip to Orlando, where we’ve taken in the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios, and Universal Studios while under the hot Florida sun. So fucking stupid to come here in the summertime, but I just couldn’t let go of the fact Barrett had never been before.