It occurred to me that every single time I really cried, really let myself go, I was in Luke’s arms.
I moved almost on instinct so I was on top of him, straddling him, framing his face with my hands. The whiskers of his stubble rubbed against my open palms.
“You have a corner,” I whispered through my tears. “You occupy the prime real estate, Luke. You have since I was five years old.”
And with that open honesty, I kissed him, the flavor of my tears mixing with the flavor of us.
Because the memories made me feel him inside me, and every instinct I had was to crawl away and let that dirt turn to rot, I went against them. My hand fastened against Luke’s, pushing it down, right to my perfect spot.
We both hissed out rough breaths as he rubbed me. Then, as if he knew what I wanted, what I needed, his fingers went inside.
He may have not been clean anymore, but he worked at washing the dirt away.
Chapter Seventeen
I may have been intent on keeping Luke and me under wraps, and I was usually pretty good at the whole undercover thing.
I just didn’t take into account how much I’d need Luke naked and inside me.
And the fact that almost all of my family had keys to my apartment.
And they didn’t knock.
“Luke,” I breathed, scratching at his back, my nails breaking the skin, creating new wounds to replace the barely healing ones from earlier in the week.
Luke’s hand bit into my hip, likely imprinting fresh bruises to join the fading ones.
It turned out that we enjoyed hurting each other.
Not that this was new information.
“Don’t you come yet,” he commanded roughly. “You come when I say.”
He was also bossy in bed. Really fucking bossy. I loved it.
I was about to disobey him when the front door opened.
“Surprise! I pried myself away from Cade’s spawn to come shopping—oh my God. Shit, I’m so sorry!”
Luke and I were on the sofa. My apartment opened onto my living room.
Both of our heads snapped toward where Gwen was standing, hand over her eyes, keys dangling from her fingers.
“I’m just going to go away to Chanel. I’ll be hours. Hours,” she repeated. She then turned and paused, hands still over her eyes. “I just want to say that this makes me very happy. Well, not me totally barging in on you doing the nasty, but you and Luke doing the nasty. It’s, like, fucking awesome,” she yelled.
I cringed.
Luke grinned.
Then the door shut.
“Did Gwen just walk in on us in the middle of having sex?” I whispered.
Luke’s grin widened. “Yes, she did.”
I expected him to pull out, discuss this turn of events. He did not, he moved his hips in deeper and I gasped. “In the middle,” he rasped. “Which means I’ve got a lot more fucking to do.”
And then discussing the turn of events didn’t seem important.
At all.
There was a knock at the door. “Is it safe to come in?” Gwen yelled.
It was three hours later.
She really had good thoughts about Luke’s stamina.
She wasn’t wrong.
One-point-five of those hours was filled with delicious sex.
Another one of them was filled with us arguing. Screaming, actually.
“I can’t believe Gwen walked in on us,” I said, pacing the room, my silk robe trailing behind me.
Luke was sitting on the sofa, jeans on, commando, top button undone. It was really fucking distracting.
“She’s had better timing,” he said, smirking.
I stopped pacing to glare at him. “Is that all you have to say?” I snapped. “She has both the biggest heart and biggest mouth in Amber, maybe the world. She’ll be on the phone to Amy right now. And Amy’s mouth is even bigger, somehow. She’ll tell Brock. And those men gossip like old Italian woman.” I put my palm to my head. “Cade will know by now,” I groaned.
Luke pushed off the sofa, and my eyes devoured his chiseled abs, the V of his stomach and the peppering of hair peeking from his jeans.
He grabbed my neck and my gaze went to his eyes. “They were gonna have to know. Somehow. Eventually. I know you wanted it secret, but I plan on forever, and forever with you is forever with your family. And there’s no secrets in your family. It was better to get it sorted sooner.”
I glared. “Better?” I repeated. “Really? Do you think since now you don’t have a badge and secret folder on the club—which I’m sure you didn’t think I knew about but I know you, so I know it exists, or existed—that they’ll welcome you?” I paused, stepping out of his embrace. “No, they won’t. You’ll still be the cop to them. Always.”
The softness left his eyes. “I don’t give a fuck if they think that,” he clipped. “As long as to you, I’ll always be your man. Not the cop. But that’s not the case, is it? I’ll always be the cop to you too, won’t I?”
I stuttered at the hurt in his voice, despite the fact that it was rising with anger. “I’ll always be the woman who stopped you from being that, won’t I? From being what you were meant to be. And Gwen, my sister, the one who just walked in. She’s the one you should’ve been with. Who you wanted to be with.”
Luke froze. Actually froze, like my words had rendered him immobile. He didn’t seem to breathe for a long second.
“You didn’t just fucking say that,” he hissed.
I crossed my arms, wishing I hadn’t said it, but I did, so I had to own it. “It’s the truth.”
“It is fucking not!” he roared. He kicked at the coffee table and it wobbled slightly, then toppled to the ground. “I know you’re scared and hurt, and this is fucking so magnificent that it’s terrifying, but that’s no fucking excuse for you to spew that absolute bullshit.” He glared at me.
I didn’t blanche at the glare. I used anger as a vehicle for my most vulnerable thoughts. “You wanted her when she first came. Even with what we’d been through before,” I accused.
“No I fucking didn’t!” he yelled. “I wanted you so fucking bad, and it hurt every inch of me that I couldn’t have you, that I never would. I could barely even look at you, Rosie.” He began pacing the room. “I could barely fucking look at myself. So I started to do shit to try and make you hate me. Because I’d never stop loving you. It would be painful but at least fucking bearable if you hated me. If I knew you weren’t bathing in the misery I would be submerged in.” He paused. “So yeah, I turned myself into that man. Let my anger and hatred for our situation fuel that shit. You need to know, that night at the opening was one of the fuckin’ hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Second to watching you collapse into my arms in the shower a year ago. So no, I’ve never really wanted anyone but you. I’ve pretended to. I got really fucking good at that, and I almost fooled myself. But never was it the truth. You should know that. You’re meant to know that, know me better than that.”
He yanked on his boots.
“And you’re fucking one to talk,” he said, straightening. “You did everything but parade your men in front of me.”