“You’re still as honest, funny, and clumsy, but…” He pauses, licking his bottom lip before going on. “You’re a whole hell of a lot prettier than I remember. Which is crazy, ‘cuz you were always really pretty.”
His words teeter on cheesy, but I bask in it, letting a smile spread across my face as he inches closer.
I close my eyes, eager for the contact and still hopeful. I could make this work if I wanted. I can do anything I set my mind to.
He presses his lips to mine, and it’s this lightning-quick yank that ignites in my heart—and then it pushes and pulls, like I’m fishing for that feeling. I’m almost there, but it doesn’t come. It’s like the hook I cast doesn’t catch, and that empty feeling is still there when I reel it back.
It’s always like this with everyone. I’ve kissed many men to try and cure me of this feeling, but none seem to stick. They don’t spark or ignite much of anything inside me.
There was a second where I thought Gabe could be my chance. He has all the ingredients of home, yet all the excitement of something new.
Once, I dated a guy for a whole three months in hopes the spark would suddenly ignite, but it never did.
All of my attempts at relationships feel like this. An empty kiss that will never compare to what I had. Caiden’s ruined everything. But I gave it my all.
Gabe’s lips stroke mine, and the tiniest bit of spice hits my lips as his mouth gives way, coaxing me to open for him, allowing his tongue to explore and taste me. It’s sweet, and nice, but my heart doesn’t race, and the butterflies in my gut flutter, but it’s not enough.
Ugh. Why is it never enough?
My heart deflates in defeat but gives me a beat of hrumph as if to say, “We’re trying.”
That we did, heart. That we did. And what a beautiful, handsome try it was.
I lift the corner of my mouth for Gabe as he pulls away slowly.
He’s smiling, and it’s enough to have me wanting to scream how frustrating this is for me. Gabe could be perfect, but something inside me won’t let him be.
“I’m sorry I’m leaving in a couple days. I was going to tell you…” he breathes out.
I lean forward, shaking my head, basking in his attention anyway. Maybe none of it is enough, but this moment can be mine. “It’s okay. I meant it when I said let’s keep in touch. I could always use more friends.”
His lips twitch at hearing my words, and there is a comical curve to them. He must think the use of friends is sort of ironic now that we’ve just kissed, but little does he know that I’m a useless romantic attempt for him now, even if I wish I wasn’t.
“Do you ever find yourself in New York with writing and stuff?”
I nod. “My publisher is there. I haven’t been yet though, but it’s possible I could find a reason to.” My gut knots at this blatant flirting. I don’t want to give Gabe hope, but the words flow too easily. I try to trick my brain into thinking maybe this is something I could try again, meaning him, but my heartbeat falls to a flat rhythm at the thought.
“That would be aweso—”
A loud sound of hollers and cheers breaks through Gabe’s words. I shake my head a moment, dissecting it, and find a sense of familiarity to the sounds instantly. That’s when another rounding “Yeaah!” rumbles through the trees.
A fight. Someone is fighting, and I have my money on who is involved.
Some things never change.
I lift my chin to Gabe and use this as my escape. “I—we have to get back. Something is happening at the party. I have to go check on my friends.”
Gabe blows out an exasperated breath, and I don’t blame him, but he must know what baggage I come with as he says, “Okay.” He doesn’t hesitate pressing one last kiss to my lips before letting me walk away.
I force a smile as I trot away, leaving Gabe at the lake’s edge. He isn’t upset, or at least I don’t think so. He’s almost smitten as he smiles back, shrugs, and chugs his beer as he watches me break into a sprint toward the party.
When I’m a safe distance away, I heave in a heavy dose of oxygen, wondering how I’m going to handle what lies behind me, and how I’m going to handle what I’m about to face in front of me.
Another round of hollers and goading cheers comes from the crowd as I get closer, and I pick up speed.
My prediction is that I’m about to find Brandon in a fistfight with John Walden, the guy CeeCee uses to make Brandon jealous. It’s the most logical scenario, but when my eyes collide with something I never saw coming, I gasp.
Caiden and Brandon are full-on throwing punches at each other.
I try for that leveling breath again, but I can’t seem to pull in enough air this time as I make my way to them, shoving through the watching crowd.
Fights between best friends, Caiden and Brandon, are not unheard of, but it usually means someone got a bit too personal. And the only solution these oafs seem to find when it comes to a man-to-man issue is to get physical.
“Stop it!” I shout indignantly once I make it to the front, fuming at the fact that Brandon’s nose is bleeding and Caiden’s beautiful bottom lip is cut and swollen.
Both men… err, boys, stop their circling, but keep their fists raised high as they both turn to face me.
I must admit: I’ve never been able to stop a fight so suddenly in my life.
Brandon blurts out into the humming party silence with, “He started it.”
CeeCee appears, looking as frustrated as I feel, her hair flying as she shakes her head with each irate word. “It doesn’t matter who started it, you’re both idiots.”
Brandon and Caiden both grunt, turning back toward each other.
Partygoers start to go back to minding their own business, going back to conversations and drinking now that all the action is over.
I even fling a look over my shoulder in time to see that Gabe has rejoined the party with the same guy I saw earlier. His eyes dart to mine once, but offers nothing for me to dwell on other than a handsome smile.