“Did you find something in there? From what I read at the office, Toni’s a good lawyer with a solid case record, but so far nothing has jumped out as headline fodder.”
“I need my glasses.” Josh returned from his room a moment later, bespectacled. “Okay. Yeah. Look at this.” He ran his finger below where he wanted her to follow. “Toni Granger didn’t just mention Black Hat, she wrote a whole paper about them.”
As Clara reached to take the doc from his hands, the sweatshirt she wore fell off her shoulder. “Where did you get that sweatshirt?” He knew she hadn’t gone to Berkeley.
“Oh, um.” Clara tugged at her fallen collar. “It’s Everett’s. All of mine are in the wash.”
Josh ground his teeth together. Everett. Again. He kept letting himself conveniently forget her lifelong crush. “It looks like she wrote this when she was applying for the assistant district attorney’s office.” She flipped a couple of pages. “Hey, what’s Big Porn?”
“It’s like Big Tobacco. Black Hat is the largest distributor of pornography in the world. They own three of the five major streaming sites, more than a handful of big studios, probably a bunch of other stuff I don’t even know about. Their reach is long.”
Clara’s eyes widened as she took in more of the position paper. “It looks like they completely decimated the structure of the porn industry in a handful of years. Toni argues that their end-to-end distribution model creates a dangerous power imbalance, with their workers paying the cost. You know these people?”
“Sure. I mean, everyone knows Black Hat. They’re hard to avoid. I don’t deal with corporate directly, they usually go through Bennie, but their holding company controls the studio that holds my exclusive contract. They’ve invited me in for meetings a few times over the last couple of months, but I’d rather gnaw off my own arm than listen to businessmen talk about synergy.”
“This is serious.” Clara skimmed her finger underneath a new paragraph. “She’s implying wrongful termination, unsafe working conditions, sexual harassment. This place sounds like a disaster. She could have demanded they improve their policies during her first term. Why isn’t Granger’s office prosecuting on any of these violations?”
“My guess? Not enough witnesses to testify.” Josh needed a beer. “My contract might be a raw deal, but when it comes to porn, the performers are the lucky ones. I’ve got an agent, arguably some market value to trade on. But the directors, the crew, the people emptying the trash cans? They can’t afford to risk their jobs to take down a corporation with this much power and influence.”
“Well, someone should do something. I can’t believe the press isn’t talking about this.”
“Really? You’re shocked that Hollywood isn’t in an uproar because someone might be getting mistreated in the porn industry? Nobody outside our bubble gives a shit.”
“Well, somebody does. Toni obviously—”
Josh scoffed. “Toni wrote that five years ago so she could follow in the footsteps of countless politicians before her who have made a career out of demonizing sex workers. What has she done since then?”
Her silence sat heavy between them. Clara put down the papers and straightened her stacks.
He adjusted his tone. “I hate to break it to you, but the government and the porn industry don’t exactly see eye to eye.”
“Toni’s not like that. I grew up in a family of local politicians and other influential people and I’ve never seen one of them speak with the same unwavering dedication to civil reform as she does. She cares.”
Josh’s face curled with exasperation. “You don’t think she’s like that because you don’t have a clue what it’s like to live in the real world. You’ve spent your entire life in fancy schools. I bet you never learned how to do laundry because you could always pay someone to do it for you. Out here not everyone gets taken care of. You think all of us have rich family members handing out jobs like peppermints?”
Clara winced and hauled a pillow to her chest, refusing to look at him.
“I’m sorry.” Josh softened his voice. Their discussion tonight had stirred up so many painful memories. But that was no excuse. His stomach sank. “Clara, I shouldn’t have said that—”
“No, you’re right.” She met his gaze with her big doe eyes. “I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I’ve always known that. This is my first foray into the real world and I’m stumbling. I don’t know what it’s like to do what you do.” She frowned. “Or apparently how to wash different types of fabric. I’ll be the first one to admit I’m a bit of a mess.”
Josh ignored the way his stomach flipped over at her raw admission of vulnerability. “We’re both on uneven ground here. Will you please forgive me?”
Her eyes dropped to his lips and he found himself breathing more heavily.
“If I say yes, can we watch Speed?”
He needed to find a way to get his attraction to her under control. She wasn’t fuel for his fantasies and she definitely wasn’t a whipping post for all his personal failures.
“We can watch Speed,” he conceded.
* * *
• • •
IN TIMES OF turmoil, some people turned to a pint of ice cream, and others ran a hot bath. When Clara needed comfort, she put on an action movie.
Despite Josh’s apology, awkwardness hung heavy in the air. Clara knew the palpable weight of words left unspoken. She’d spent a lifetime tiptoeing around a household teeming with words people wanted to say but never dared.
“Shouldn’t someone with a fancy degree in critiquing old paintings prefer grainy documentaries and foreign films with subtitles?” Josh eyed her from his end of the couch as the opening credits of Speed rolled across Everett’s flatscreen.
“You think I’m way more highbrow than I actually am,” Clara said, cutting the slice of lasagna she’d retrieved into neat bite-sized squares. The recent strain about their socioeconomic status and upbringing reinforced the fact that Josh would never look at her as anything other than his pampered roommate. She didn’t need to guard her emotions against him because the world provided ready-made barriers to any future between them.
Still, whether it was because he wasn’t working and didn’t have anything else better to do, or because he found her odd, Josh paid her a surprising amount of attention. If he were any other man, she might have squirmed under the scrutiny.
He was the most charming person she’d ever met. She had no idea how to navigate the minefield of their day-to-day interactions. With Everett, at least she’d had home field advantage when it came to trying to win his favor: hard-earned years’ worth of studying his likes and dislikes to ensure that their interactions always went down easy.