“You feel it, don’t you?”
She looked up from the photos. “Feel what?”
No doubt in my mind, this right here was her calling. “I see it in your eyes. The way you talk about photography. You’re lighting up, Mia. You’re really into it?”
“Yeah,” she blew out through her lips, and her smile reemerged. “You knew. How?”
I lifted my shoulder.
Mia blushed. I gripped her thigh. Then a shadow hovered over us.
A whistle blew out of Jake’s lips as he crouched down behind Mia. “Fuck me,” he breathed. Mia dropped her head back, and I snatched the photo from her hand.
“Get out of here, mate. You’ve seen my arse before. This isn’t new.” It was true. Before Mia, I’d walked around numerous times in the bathroom and during midnight parties in my dorm wearing absolutely nothing. Since Mia came along, I’d shown respect for her by remembering to put pants on.
“Still gets me every time.” Jake waggled his brows.
“You and me both,” Mia agreed. Her eyes fell back on mine. “Ollie, are you blushing?”
“No.” I dropped my head to the side and covered my face.
Mia was under the impression the prankster hadn’t made a move since she returned from the hospital, but they had. Scott and Lynch were the only two people who knew she’d moved into my room at night. Occasionally, I stopped in her dorm to check things out, and a few days ago, I’d found a vague letter slipped under her door. ‘It isn’t over’, it read in chicken scratch. The only reason I hadn’t told her about it was because her holiday shouldn’t be spent in fear.
“I have a feeling they’re waiting around for the perfect opportunity,” I said low to Scott beside me against the wall of the mess hall. “No one can touch her when I’m around. And I’m always fucking around.”
We only talked when necessary, feeding him updates for him to pass along to Lynch. If there was a way I could go to Lynch myself without Scott, I would, but someone had to keep an eye out for Mia.
My attention was locked on her across the room as she talked to Zeke in fluent sign language. Mia knew the kid could hear her, but she still refused to use her voice, saying it was the only way she was going to learn. Her hair framed her delicate face as her hands moved smoothly in front of her.
“I’ll let Lynch know,” Scott murmured and crumbled the paper in his hand before stuffing it in his pocket. “Have you told her about Lynch yet?”
I ran my hand through my hair and gripped the ends. How was I supposed to drop a bomb like that at a time like this? “I’ll tell her when I know her head is in the right space.”
“Lynch should be the one, yeah?”
Yeah, he should have. Then I found out, and deciding to hoard the secret from my fiancé was wrong on so many levels. “He had over a bloody year to tell her. What makes you think he’s going to speak up now?” I folded my arms over my chest, speaking directly to Scott but my eyes watching Mia. Always. “Now that I know, I’ll be the one to tell her. It has to come from me.” Honestly, I was fucking scared. Knowing Mia, if she only knew I’d known this entire time, it would give her every reason not to trust me.
I’m doing this for you, love.
Pushing off the wall, I said, “Get that over to Lynch, and I’ll keep you updated.”
Jake had joined the table, teary-eyed and upset. He sat beside Mia, the two of them facing each other as Mia consoled him. “I can’t get him alone. I miss him, and I know he misses me too,” Jake said low as I pulled out a chair and took a seat.
Conversation halted, and all eyes landed on me.
“Don’t stop on my account,” I insisted.
“Ollie is the best person to ask for advice.” Mia smiled. “He’ll know.”
Encouraging the challenge, I motioned with both hands to give it to me.
Jake turned toward me. “He’s always around people. It’s like he’s making himself untouchable to me. But I see the way he looks at me.”
“Liam?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, “I never felt this way about anyone. We really had something. Then the whole school found out. Now he’s avoiding me, his feelings … shit, I know he feels the same way.”
“I get that you miss him, mate. Truly, I understand one-hundred-fucking-percent what it’s like to miss someone, but the bloke is clearly confused and still trying to wrap his mind around it all.”
“I’m afraid the more time that passes, the less of a chance we’ll ever get back together.”
My fingers laced through Mia’s and I pulled our hands into my lap, my thumb drawing invisible circles over hers as I listened intently. “You love him?”
Jake sucked in his lips and flicked his eyes to where Liam sat. Casually, I dropped my chin over my shoulder and took a look at the same bloke who not only kissed my girl but fucked her, too. A time when Mia had been confused herself and tried everything to push away the feelings she had toward me. I shifted my eyes back to my girl beside me. We’d come a long way. She’d come a long way. All she’d needed was someone to show her how to tear down the four walls, one by one. She’d grown accustomed to those fucking walls. Probably had hung pictures and painted them with her own bloodshed from the scared eight-year-old girl hiding inside.
Liam’s eyes found Jake’s. For only half a second, but it was there. I saw it. I felt it. A helplessness. A plead. An “I miss you,” screaming back at him over the sound of a breaking heart. “I fancy a bloke who smashes into fanny to fuck the feelings away,” Jake finally stated with misty eyes. “No offense, Mia.”
Mia held her free hand out in front of her. “None taken.”
“Look at me,” I leaned forward, “Four months and we’re all out of here. Four months and Liam will go back home and have every reason and tool available to push you away altogether, conforming to society and fitting into a perfect box they created. Take my advice and go after him now. Don’t wait until the last minute.” I fell back into the chair. “No better time than right now. The only time that’s guaranteed. You want him alone? I’ll get you alone with him … but the rest is up to you, my friend.”
If I hadn’t caught the small moment exchanged, I would have told him to give the bloke space to figure it out, making my life a hell-of-a-lot easier. However, my heart was too fucking big to dismiss the obvious. Liam and Jake needed saving.
My heart squeezed in my chest.
It was New Year’s Eve. This very day last year haunted me every night, eyes wide open depriving me of sleep. I had every intention of drowning that night with new memories. But before I could spend midnight watching fireworks, I had to talk to Liam.
The ache in my chest didn’t hold a candle to the weight in my heart as Mia and Scott walked side by side down the stairs. Her golden-brown eyes glanced back up at me under the baseball cap as I leaned over the railing. The wink and smirk on her face lifted the weight, but the ache would remain. It always did whenever we were apart. Once the two disappeared, I set forth on my mission to find Liam while Jake waited in the group therapy room for him.
My feet touched over every inch of Dolor, only to find Liam waltzing casually out of a closet zipping up his jeans. Gwen appeared behind him, wiping the aftermath from her lips with her shirt stretched and hanging from her shoulder. Jake didn’t deserve this. “Liam, we need to talk.”