The door slammed, and all that surrounded me was the dark.
When fear should have reared its nasty head, all I found was anger. Hesitantly, I reached my arms out in front of me for the doorknob. “Let me out!” I screamed, beating against the door.
I screamed until my voice went hoarse, I pounded my fist until my arm grew weak, I kicked until my legs gave out, and then I sank to the floor. Regardless if my eyes were open or closed, it was still dark. It no longer mattered. So, I left them closed and waited for someone to realize I’d gone missing.
It shouldn’t be too much longer. Still, I kept my eyes closed, relishing in having the choice to see darkness under my own admission, not because I was locked in a closet. My blood simmered though I was freezing and my imagination ran wild. Many times, my brain played tricks on me, believing I’d heard my name being called. My foot tapped against the door to signal where I was.
Ethan should’ve come with me.
Ollie would be pissed that he didn’t. He’d flip this school upside down until I fell from this closet. Not too much longer, and he’d find me. I curled in the corner, my knees pressed against my chest with my head dropped between them. I only needed to stay calm for a little while longer.
Then the lock clicked.
Or had I imagined it?
I crawled forward, pushing my hand out in front of me until I felt the cold metal of the doorknob. Sure enough, the knob twisted open, and the door creaked open.
Light entered, and I dropped my head in relief when my eyes moved across the floor. A note laid over the dusty marble. I sat back on my knees and held it out in front of me. It read, “That’s what it feels like.”
“Mia!” Ollie’s voice echoed through the hall. Sitting frozen with the note clasped between my fingers, he appeared in front of me. “What the hell happened?” Ollie pushed my hair back as he scanned over my face. “You alright?”
Ollie pulled me off the ground, and I nodded. “Yeah,” I think I said, offering the letter to him. He took the note from my hand and read over it. His chest raised heavily and worry struck in his green eyes when they hit mine.
He was angry.
I was scared.
He was shaking in fury.
I was shaking in fear.
“What do we do?” I finally asked, my throat swollen.
“I’m over this shit. I’m so over it. Fuck. I’m taking down this son of a bitch,” Ollie licked his lip and tore his eyes away from me and down the hall, “Right after I go wring Scott’s fucking neck.” Ollie grabbed my hand, leading me down the hallway back to the common room, stride not letting up.
He was right and wrong at the same time.
Ethan shouldn’t have left me to go alone, but he did.
But I wasn’t Ethan’s responsibility. I was no one’s responsibility.
“Ollie, it’s not his fault.” I squeezed his hand, trying to slow him down. “Stop and listen to me!”
He spun and towered over me, nostrils flaring. “He had one job, Mia. One.” Noticing his tight grip on my hand, he quickly released before turning around and taking off with fists clenched at his sides. I ran after him, calling out his name.
Ollie only saw red—Ethan red.
I yanked on his arm from behind, but there was no stopping one-tracked-mind Ollie.
“Forget it, Ollie. Please. I’m begging you. Let it go!”
Ollie’s hand landed on the doorknob, and he was quickly inside and across the room by the time I pushed through behind him. “Everyone out!” he shouted, his face red and sweat dotting his hairline. People stayed glued to their seats, leaning forward eager for the real show that was about to start. Ethan had already jumped to his feet, his eyes darting around, taking in the scene around. “Get the fuck out!” Ollie ordered again, and that time people scrambled out.
I stepped in front of Ollie, covering his fists with my hands. “Please, don’t do this.”
“Get out, Mia.”
“Look at me! This isn’t going to end well!”
Ollie picked me up and carried me out the door before setting me on my feet. “Jake, don’t let her out of your sight!” Ollie yelled over my shoulder before closing the door.
“Don’t you dare do this!” I screamed through the small window, throwing my fists into the door.
Ollie’s hollowed eyes fixated on me, and the door lock clicked. “Close your eyes, Mia.” Then he turned his back to me and took long strides toward Ethan. Ethan circled the desk, trying to talk sense into Ollie, but Ollie swiftly moved around it. Ollie’s daunting voice shook the walls before he picked up the desk as if it were a feather pillow and threw it across the room. The veins in his neck bulged as adrenaline pumped through emotional and fierce flesh.
Ethan held up his hands, taking a step back, but Ollie moved swiftly and launched his fist into his skull. The ear-splitting sound pierced through the door.
I screamed out, tears spilled from the corner of my eyes, and I fell to the floor along with the rest of me. People smashed into me, trying to get a view of the action inside, but all I could do was press my palms against my ears to drown out the sounds and move along the wall to get out of the way.
Time passed, and eventually people scattered. A wave of cold air brushed passed me, and I shivered against it. The door opened, but I was too scared to look up and face the music. Ollie’s Chuck Taylor’s appeared beside me. Then Ethan’s boots came into view for a mere moment. I lifted my head to see the two shaking hands before Ethan turned and walked away before I had a chance to see his face.
“Mia,” Ollie pressed, his hand landing over my shoulder. “Look at me.”
“Leave her alone. She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you,” Jake muttered, and I had no idea he’d hung around for this long. I didn’t have to look up to know he was standing across from me at the opposite side of the hall.
Ollie slid down the wall beside me. The heat and familiarity emitting from him comforted me, but I was too mad to accept it. “I’m not going anywhere, Mia. I’ll sit here all night if I have to,” Ollie said to me.
Sure enough, Ollie sat beside me. I don’t know who else was around anymore. I was too stubborn to lift my head and check. A few students walked by, but no one talked.
“Well this is fun and all, but I’m going to head out,” Jake mumbled, and his footfalls faded down the hall.
Ollie and I sat in silence. I don’t know how much time had passed. I didn’t know where the hell Ethan had gone or if he was still here. I didn’t know anything anymore. The only thing I was sure of, I was fucking mad.
“I love you, Mia,” Ollie whispered, bumping his leg next to mine.
“That was selfish. You’re selfish.”
Ollie blew out air. “Selfish, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I breathed into the hoodie. “And dangerous.”
I felt his mind racing at the speed of light. Somehow, his thoughts touched me and sifted through me. The need to wring out his worry made my fingers twitch inside my sleeve. He just pounded into Ethan’s head for no good reason. A reason that was all my fault. This had been all my fault, and the two people I loved were stewing in the aftermath.
“Selfish,” he repeated with a shake of his head. He stretched out his legs in front of him and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You know, I remembered seeing this movie … I can’t remember the bloody name of it and to be honest, I might’ve imagined it, but I’ll never forget what the girl said … something along the lines of you can’t be both selfish and in love. Humans are created to love themselves first and foremost, the reason we can’t physically harm ourselves with our bare hands. You’ll never be able to break skin using your own teeth or scratch beyond the surface enough to draw blood. And the ones who do are considered dangerous—insane even.”