My gaze locked with hers, both of our chests heavily heaving. By this point, Mia’s eyes were bloodshot, soft lips trembling, and my heavy heart slammed inside its brittle cage, no match against her and the power she had over me. My breath held, tears sprang in my eyes, and a finality crossed her expression.
She’d made up her mind.
Mia walked around the bed, grabbed a pillow, and headed for the living room. “Make sure to clean up the mess when your done with your tantrum,” she barely whispered through her tears. A desperate growl erupted from deep in my throat, and I grabbed a drawer and threw it across the room, drilling a hole through drywall above the bed before crumbling to the floor against the dresser.
Hours passed, and the only sound in our home was a show playing over the telly and Mia’s soft sniffles from the living room. I’d been in this same position the entire time, bent at the knees and my legs numb. Utterly drained from the toll of emotions happening within me, my limbs were weak as I got to my feet and made my way to her.
Mia’s back was to me as she laid over our leather couch, her brown hair spilling off the pillow and over the edge. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, and she turned over at the sound of my voice to face me. Her eyes were swollen and cheeks so red, her freckles were lost, but still so goddamn beautiful. “I’m scared, Mia.”
“I know, I am too,” she admitted, then moved back to give me room. I peeled off my hoodie and tee then slipped out of my jeans before sinking over the couch beside her. She immediately warmed me, and my fingers pushed through her hair as she shook her head. “I’m not leaving you, Ollie. There’s nothing you can say or do to make me leave. I’m staying with you. No matter what happens, I’m going to be right here with you every step of the way.”
The right thing to do was tell her I was a dead man—to prepare her for the inevitable, but I couldn’t find it in me. It was better off anyway, Mia not knowing. She’d only do something incredibly stupid like beg me not to take the call and run away from it all. But we couldn’t force Travis, Summer, Jake, and the rest of them to take off with us. If we ran, Dex would be out for blood. He’d take away everything that made my heart beat inside my chest, most importantly, Mia. And if dying meant she’d be safe, I’d die a thousand deaths.
“Promise me something, Mia,” I said as her shallow breaths hit my lips. Mia lifted her eyes to mine, and she nodded once. “If one night I don’t come home, don’t wait for me. Instead, close your eyes and go to sleep, that way, no matter where I am, I can still be with you,” her eyes bounced between mine, and I swallowed, “dream of me, alright? Promise me you’ll do that.”
Mia’s lips parted and eyes glazed over. “I promise.”
I abandoned the couch and picked her up, carrying her in my arms back to our bed. She didn’t say anything about the hole in the wall, the broken drawer lying beside our bed, or the clothes draping over our wooden headboard. Mia only kept her eyes on mine as I laid her over the mattress and slowly undressed her.
The only way I could get through this moment was to keep myself together when all my body and emotions wanted to do was break apart at the thought of this being our last time. Her ivory skin glowed against the white sheets of our bed, and I took my time, running the tips of my fingers over her lips, down her neck, and over her breast. Every inch of her had branded into my mind, but tonight, she’d sear into my soul so I’d remember us far after death.
My fingers grazed down her stomach, and it slightly rose and fell beneath my touch. I flicked my eyes up, and her bottom lip caught between her teeth, her eyes closed. “Open your eyes, love,” I whispered, and her thick lashes blinked open.
I continued my journey, her entire body shuddering when my fingers brushed her sex, and her thighs broke apart under my silent command. Mia’s eyes fluttered, and a breath caught in her throat as my eyes drifted down her torso. My heart hammered, and her tender core starved to be kissed.
I crawled between her legs and up her torso until my nose grazed hers. My mouth moved down to her neck to kiss the spot below her ear just once. “The first time we made love,” I whispered over her throat. “I asked something of you before it happened. What did I ask you to do?”
Mia’s back arched, and her nipples grazed my chest before she said, “You wanted me to remember the moment and the way you made me feel.”
“Yes,” I grinned, moving my mouth back to hers, “hold on to this too.”
And we made love that night like every other night, and though I was unable to hide the way my heart danced to our last song, she would never notice or see the difference. I’d never held back when it came down to the two of us, and Mia always had the power over me. My other half—my strength.
The girl was a design, a form of art. Painters, musicians, nor novelists could capture or mimic the way she lit galaxies beneath my flesh or make my heart beat to the tune of River Flows in You. Even the most talented would be jealous of the way she moved like paint across my skin into my bloodstream. For over two years, I’d poured her through every line, word, and syllable of poetry, but could never get it just right.
An absolute wonder.
I’d spent the last few years falling in love with her, and I could die easy knowing Mia Rose was strong enough on her own. She never needed anyone. It was true, I’d pushed her to bring her back, but she’d always been the one to save herself. Perhaps that was my purpose in this lifetime with Mia, to remind her the struggle and fight along the way could be just as beautiful as the freedom she’d find once I was gone because … we were once together, and it was beautiful.
IT WAS CHRISTMAS DAY, and we had a full house earlier for a gift exchange with Lynch, Travis’s family, Jake, and Liam. Smiles and laughter had filled the room as everyone enjoyed my famous hot chocolate, and the Christmas music Mia played on the piano. Nearing the end, Jake and Lynch had teamed up for a game of charades, both pissed off a shared bottle of spiced eggnog. How the two of them won had been beyond me.
After everyone left, a Mazzy Star song blessed the speakers, interrupting the Christmas vibes. Mia shrieked from the kitchen and ran toward me in a snowflake printed red sweater and leather pants, forcing me off the couch. “Dance with me,” she asked, and she never had to ask twice. I pushed the coffee table out of the way, and we danced in our living room in front of the fire, the colored lights from our Christmas tree glimmering in her eyes. “When can I give you my present?”
We’d talked about this. I’d told Mia not to spend heaps of dosh on me, then she had mentioned the first year was paper. I’d told her it was for anniversaries, not Christmas, but Mia never liked to follow the rules, and my heart had clenched at the thought of not making it to our first anniversary, so I’d agreed. Paper it was.
With her arms wrapped around my shoulder and an eager smile tugging on her lips, I went to open my mouth when my phone chimed.
The air grew thick. My stomach turned at the slight sound, and I tucked my hand into the front pocket of my pants to retrieve my phone and held it out to the side.
My mobile lit up. It’s go time. The three simple words across the screen paralyzed me.
My eyes wouldn’t move from the screen, and a beating struck in my ears. My fist clenched, and my pulse ticked from the pads of my fingers against the phone.