“Ollie, what is it?” Mia asked, but her voice sounded distant, lost as my insides screamed.
The room spun, Mazzy played, and it felt as if the entire cottage was submerged in water.
“Ollie?” Mia asked again, touching my face.
Her tiny hand clutched my chin to move my eyes back to hers, and I wet my dry lips before swallowing the agony back down. “I,” I paused to clear my throat of emotions, “I have to go.” It came out as a question. Did I have to go?
Of course, I had to go. It was the only way to keep her safe.
“Now?” Mia tilted her head with a frown. “It’s Christmas.”
“Believe me when I say, I don’t want to. It’s the absolute last thing I want to do, love. But I don’t have a choice.” I forced a smile, and it took every bit of effort. Mia studied my expression, seeing straight through it. I averted my gaze and lifted her arm from around my shoulder to bring her palm to my lips, pressing a kiss inside. “I have to go change.”
I left her standing there in the living room to make my way toward the bedroom. The only thing keeping me sane and steady was the fact she’d be safe and free. It was the only thought chanting inside my head over and over while I quickly changed into a pair of black jeans, a white tee, and a black hoodie. Hopping on one leg, I pulled my black boots on in the doorway to look out into the living room. Mia was busy dragging the coffee table back in place and picking up mugs from the side tables, cleaning, which she rarely ever did. This time, I’d left the gun under the mattress for Mia in case she needed protection, hoping she’d never have to use it. I hurried to the antique wardrobe to retrieve a letter I’d written for her, the second gun Travis had gotten this week, and a box of bullets.
My eyes darted back and forth around the wardrobe toward the door, catching Mia folding a blanket and laying it over the couch, and my shaky hands slid bullets into the magazine. I’d do whatever it took to come home to her, and this time, I was going in fully loaded. After making sure the safety was on, I tucked the gun behind me and closed the drawers.
Mia was in the kitchen, her back to me, and I paused mid-step on my way to her, only to spin back around to breathe. Oxygen turned scarce, scattering in and out from between my lips as my stomach twisted into knots. With one swipe of my palm down my face, I collected the tears and dropped my head back in search of any strength left within me before turning back around.
My hands clutched Mia’s hips, whirling her around to face me. I held her face in my hands, and she said nothing with glassy golden eyes. Naturally, my body leaned into hers, pinning her to the counter, and I closed my eyes to inhale through my nose. The distinct aroma of jasmine after it rained, and I ingrained it into my soul.
I tucked the strand behind her ear before kissing her, my lips latching on to hers, and my mouth moved softer, my tongue grazed slower, and my lips sucked harder, holding on for longer than I should have before reluctantly pulling away. Our noses brushed before our foreheads connected. “I’ll always be in love with you, Mia,” I said, grazing my thumbs over her cheeks and down her pouty lip. “Remember your promise?”
“Don’t wait up for you,” she whispered, and I nodded against her. Mia released a breath and wrapped her arms around my waist above the weapon, not noticing. “Do you remember your promise to me?” she asked, blinking up to me.
“You’re not losing me,” I lied, because it was the only way, and pressed my lips against her forehead before leaving her arms to head toward the door, my heart warning me.
“Hey, Ollie,” she called out once my hand landed on the doorknob, and I froze by the sound of my name upon her lips. I didn’t turn back around, I mentally couldn’t do it, and her voice traveled between us. “I love you too.”
I’d called Dex on my way to Thurrock, and he went over the details before sending the address to my phone. The meeting would take place in two hours at a storehouse ten minutes away from the scaffolds I’d climbed as a kid. With time in my favor, I sent a quick text to Adrian to meet me at the same location we’d burned the drugs after the BOGs raid, which seemed like lifetimes ago.
Adrian’s two-toned Civic idled beside the large building, and I parked beside him before opening the glove box for a cigarette. My eyes landed on Mia’s Christmas gift sitting inside, and all the muscles in my body flexed, my knee bouncing. After a few pounds of my heart, I swiped the pack, slammed the glove box shut, and joined Adrian by the barrel.
With a quick shake and pat on the back, we lit up.
It was silent between us at first, and I dragged in the smoke until the burn hit my lungs as we both stared off into the abyss of nothingness. The moon loomed overhead, the night too peaceful, too calm for what was about to go down. My thoughts had tangled into a holy mess of Mia, and if I didn’t say something now, I’d probably lose it. “Remember when we came here after the raid?”
“Yeah, mate,” Adrian threw his head back and chuckled lightly, “I thought you’d reached nutter status after burning the BOGs drugs and filthy lucre.”
I flicked the cigarette butt, and ash floated to my boot. “Besides, I didn’t.”
In my peripheral, Adrian cocked his head. “What do you mean? I watched you do it.”
Shaking my head, a thin layer of smoke seeped from my mouth and mixed with the cold air. “You only saw what I wanted you to see,” I pointed out, pulling the cigarette back to my mouth and walking the few long strides behind the station wagon.
Adrian followed, and I shoved the key inside the lock of the trunk until it clicked and popped open. Lifting the floorboard, colorful heaps of banded money rested in the cracks, and Adrian’s young features lit up with a cackle. “Are you fucking kidding me,” he turned to face me, and I lifted my hand over the top of the trunk hood and leaned in, “that has to be at least ten grand sitting there.”
“It’s thirty,” I corrected.
Which was pocket money to the hoarder in me. Mia would be all right. I’d made certain of it. I’d spent this past week going over the finances, and there was enough to where Mia would be taken care of for the rest of her life. And it was true, I never expected to be the one-hit-wonder poet, but I’d finished my second manuscript in the nightstand along with the letter. Mia would have the choice of either handing it over to Laurie to share with the world or cherish it for herself. It may even be worth more once I was a goner. Either way, it had always been the two of us who blended onto every page and word, poetically making love to her for eternity.
“I need you to do something for me, mate.” The sincerity in my voice seized his attention. “It’s important to me.”
Adrian tilted his head and crossed his arms. “Yeah, Oliver. Anything. You know I’m good for my word, and you’re my boy. I’m loyal to you, always have been.”
“I’m going to text you an address once I leave, and I need you to take the money in the black bags and deposit them on the doorstep of the house. It’s already split up.” The drop off for the Burn’s family. I wished I could do more for the family.
“What about the rest of it?”
“The rest is yours.” My arm dropped from the trunk, and I flicked the cigarette over the cracked concrete. “I had every intention of getting you out from under the Links, and it may not be enough to take care of you forever, but it’s a bloody start. You’re a good man, Adrian. And I promise, there’s so much more out there. This world is too fucking beautiful to be spending your days drowning in drugs, cheap liquor, and meaningless sex. Don’t waste it, A.”