“I’m not going to stand by and let anyone hurt you,” I assure him. “It’s just not who I am. I’ll whip ass with my handbag if that’s what it takes to keep my cover.”
“I know, girl.” He smiles sadly. “I’m just not ready.”
I nod, hating the situation my friend is in. Kai told me the other night that it’s not so much a fear of those specific guys who beat him up, but a general one. Not everyone accepts him as he is, which makes me wish I could kick the asses of every individual who treats him as less than.
“I know I’m living vicariously through you, but right now, it’s all I have besides my channel.”
Kai took a break from his makeup videos while his face healed enough for him to cover the injuries with makeup. He said he didn’t want to draw even more attention to himself by going public about the attack.
He feels shame. That breaks my heart and infuriates me at the same time, because the only ones who should feel shame are the guys who attacked him.
“I care about Jonah a lot,” I admit to Kai. “More than I was expecting to.”
“He cares about you, too. I can tell.”
“He was with his wife since they were teenagers, though. She was everything to him. And he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone else.”
“How do you know?”
I sigh softly. “Logan told me at the start of this whole thing. It’s why he said Jonah is perfect for this assignment.”
“Right, but that was before. Now he’s taking you home to meet his family and buying you gifts.”
I reach up and touch the Tiffany & Co. necklace Jonah gave me before he left on his road trip yesterday, the Tuesday after our weekend in Malibu. It’s a rose gold four-leaf clover, and I was surprised and quite honestly, moved when I opened it.
A good luck charm. I held his gaze and thanked him, my heart fluttering from his thoughtfulness. I need all the luck I can get in this assignment to gather evidence on Shields. And what I really wanted to tell him is that my good luck charm is him.
“I think he’s just a really nice guy,” I say softly. “Anyone would be incredibly lucky to be with him.”
“Why won’t you even try?” Kai asks, his brow furrowed. “You deserve him, Rey. And he deserves you, from everything you’ve told me.”
“I’m no good at relationships,” I admit. “I’m too selfish.”
“How are you selfish?”
I look away and say, “I take care of myself. I’ve always been that way.”
“You don’t seem selfish to me.”
I turn back to face Kai and tell him about my parents. About my grandmother raising me. How I worked my way through college and busted my ass to get into the academy.
“I guess the truth is, I’m a pessimist,” I admit. “From the time I was a kid, I’ve seen the worst of people. I see it in my work now. Trusting another person can be a good thing, but it exposes you every time. Makes you vulnerable.”
Kai’s eyes are filled with tears as he covers my hand with his. “You’re saying it can be a good thing for other people, but not you?”
“Pretty much,” I admit.
“No one should have to go through what you did,” he says. “I’m so sorry, Rey.”
I shrug. “It was a long time ago. And my grandma stepped up. I just never want to let feelings for a man cloud my judgment like my mom did.”
“Jonah isn’t abusive to you, though, honey. That’s a big difference.”
My eyes flood with tears as I say, “He’s a really good guy, he truly is, but I’m afraid. I just don’t think he’ll ever be able to love anyone the way he loved her. I don’t want to be his runner up.”
Kai takes my hand, not saying anything. I take a deep breath, ready to leave the booth, when my phone dings in my hand with an incoming text. I look down at the screen to read it.
“Oh my god.” I scan the message again and then look up at Kai. “We got it. This is the break I’ve been hoping for. Shields invited us to his Bermuda compound.”
Chapter Twenty
Jonah
Rey looks stunning in a dark purple sleeveless dress, her hair back in another chignon. This time, though, I’m not thinking about how much I want to mess her hair up. I’m too on edge for that.
We’re on a quick trip to Shields’s Bermuda house between road trips for my games, and I can see why Rey and Logan called it a compound during our first meeting. It’s in a secluded area, the terrain around it as close to a jungle as I’ve ever been. We had to travel the last mile here by ATV.
I’d think it was lavish—pretty cool, even—if I didn’t know what I do. Instead, I see a place that would be difficult at best to escape from. There’s nothing in sight of the sprawling estate but the dense jungle. Where would you go?
Rey takes my hand and gives me a reassuring look, and I smile on the outside, but inside, I’m as tense as I’ve ever been. If our cover is blown here, we’re fucked.
“Darren, I know I already told you, but this place is incredible,” Rey gushes as she walks over to him.
Shields is, as always, pouring a drink. I’m looking out at the view from a big window on the other side of the room, so he probably thinks I can’t hear him as he says, “Thanks, doll. This is the difference between being with a rich man and a filthy rich one. Let me know if you ever want to make the leap.”
He laughs that smarmy fucking laugh of his and my fantasy of kicking his ass comes back to the front of my mind. I’ve known men of all kinds in my life, and he’s the type who laughs after every inappropriate statement and pretends he was only half serious.
Shields wants Rey bad, though. He creeps closer to her every time we see him. When we arrived last night, he kissed her cheek and then brushed his nose over her hair. I wanted to throw him through a window.
After reading something on his cell phone, Shields says, “Guys, I have some business to attend to. You’re free to swim, take the ATV out, or head out on the boat. Why don’t we meet back up here for dinner around 6:00?”
“Great, we’ll see you then,” Rey says brightly.
She walks over to me and puts a hand on my chest, saying, “Baby, let’s swim. I can’t wait for you to see the new swimsuit I brought.”
We head for our room together. This place is so massive that it’s a long walk to another wing. Rey admires the art and tropical plants on display, pretending she’s starry-eyed over this place.
Once we get to our room and the door is closed, Rey slides out of her dress, giving me an incredible view of her in nothing but a sleeveless, lacy cream bra and a black thong. She comes close to me and I wrap my arms around her, my nerves forgotten.
Her lips stop short of kissing me, though, and she murmurs. “I may get lost looking for the pool.”
I pull back and shake my head firmly. Rey is so damn gutsy, and while I find it sexy, I also want her to stay alive and keep this case intact. Snooping around while Shields could be working in his home office is a bad idea.
She nods, and I shake my head again. We have a silent back-and-forth argument before I lean close and whisper in her ear, “Tonight, babe. Trust me. Tonight.”