“This is the clay. The rough, unmade clay.”
She nodded as I moved through the pages, shot after unusable shot. “I see where you’re going.”
“We need the clay to make the sculpture.” I flipped to the final one.
The pièce de résistance.
Me, stretched out on this very couch, my head leaning back, my hair tumbling over the pillow. My back arched. Breasts perking up. Skin shimmering. A look of bliss in my eyes.
Just like how I felt this morning on the table with Adam.
A faint shudder ran through me as I remembered posing like this for him. With that memory front and center, I saw my self-portrait in a new light. I understood intrinsically the expression on my own face. I knew what it was like to want and to want so powerfully it was written in your eyes.
I wanted like that woman in the photo.
And I’d had.
Tonight, I would have even more. I’d have it all.
Melanie’s laughter faded, replaced by a sort of wonder as she gazed at the shot. “That’s what I want Josie to feel when she looks at the pictures. This is how she makes me feel,” she said reverently, running a hand over the image.
“She’s going to be enthralled. And so are you. And if I have to take five hundred shots to get the perfect one, I will.”
She shot me the most grateful grin. “Thank you.” Her eyes returned to my photo. “When you took this photo of yourself, what was going through your mind? What were you thinking of?”
I had no idea. But I had every idea too.
“I was imagining what it felt like to want someone desperately. To want to experience every bit of bliss with that person,” I said, speaking the full truth now, and it felt fantastic. Another taste of freedom.
“I know exactly what you mean,” she said.
She was ready.
She didn’t transform into a runway model, but she settled into her body, enjoying the attention, imagining the camera was Josie, I suspected, as she let all her desires play in her eyes.
She was gorgeous, and I was the lucky photographer who captured it.
Even more so, for the first time, I understood how she felt.
When Melanie was finished and dressed in her slacks and a pretty white blouse, I walked her to the door and out into the hall. “I’ll send you edits soon. You’re going to love it, and she’s going to be over the moon.”
“Thank you. I can’t imagine anyone else taking those shots of me. You made that all possible.”
“You did,” I corrected her.
After Melanie stepped into the waiting elevator that whisked her downstairs, I walked toward my condo. Before I reached the door, a smoky, sexy voice called out.
“You are a tech wizard.”
I laughed at the sound of Miss Sheridan and swiveled around. “I better get a wizard hat, then.”
She beamed, patting her platinum-blonde hair and shaking her hips. The showgirl in her ran strong. “My last video was so popular I had thousands of new views this morning alone.”
“No one does yoga better than you.”
She walked in my direction, with the confidence of her stage days enrobing her. “But that’s not why I popped out to see you,” she said, her eyes dancing with mischief.
Uh-oh.
“I saw Adam pick up a package this morning.”
My jaw threatened to drop. Please, dear God, let the vibrator not have arrived in Joy Delivered packaging.
“I don’t know what was in the package,” she added, and I contained the naughty grin that threatened to appear. I knew what was in the package, and it had already been in me.
“But the look on his face . . .” she said, trailing off.
Oh my. I bet he was indeed pleased with his ordering skills.
“He seemed quite happy,” she continued, wiggling her brows as she reached me.
Keeping our battery-assisted secrets to myself, I answered with a polite “He’s a happy guy.”
She patted my shoulder. “You kids today. Do I just need to call a spade a spade? He seemed happy in the way that a man does after . . .”
Had she heard us? The walls were insulated. Was I that loud?
She seemed to sense my worries.
“Sweetheart, I don’t know what happens behind your closed door. I don’t know what was in that package. I didn’t hear anything, but I don’t have to. I can tell there’s something between the two of you, and I think it’s fantastic. I love seeing young people get together. It’s why I love this city. So many people coming together.”
Butterflies fluttered in my chest, and for a split second, I imagined an us. Adam and me. Possibilities beyond my list dared to flash before my eyes. Breakfasts and dinners and nights out.
Where were these errant thoughts coming from?
They were as invasive as the thoughts of sex had been yesterday morning.
And they were a real risk too.
That was precisely what I needed to avoid—catching feelings. Getting ahead of the list.
“Nothing is happening,” I assured her, and then I vowed to assure myself of that all day long.
Because the butterflies I felt at her mere suggestion were never going to be set free.
15
Nina
That afternoon, I met my girlfriends at our favorite coffee shop and ordered my usual.
Kate had finished work early for the day, and Lily was taking a break from a story she’d been chasing on a new rookie quarterback. She was an award-winning and nationally recognized reporter for a sports network. As for Kate, her job remained cloaked in mystery. Well, to others. I understood it perfectly, but we treated it as if she worked at the CIA.
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
“So all is well at corporate headquarters with your super-secret new missions?” I asked my friend with the chestnut hair and hazel eyes.
Kate shrugged playfully. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
Lily laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re such a clandestine operative.”
“That’s me,” Kate added, then brought her finger to her lips. “All of Vegas’s deepest nighttime secrets are safe with me.”
“Unless we can ply them out of you with drinks this weekend,” I added playfully.
“Speaking of this weekend, I heard Brandon is coming to town and we’re all going out,” Lily remarked, flicking a strand of blonde hair off her shoulder. “Finn had lunch with Jake and Adam, and the plans came up.”
“And we also have Adam’s new deals to celebrate,” Kate added.
Lily snapped her gaze to Kate. “How did you know?”
I wanted to ask the same question, so I was glad Lily had pounced first.
“I heard it from Jake,” Kate said, looking away, my normally confident friend betraying the slightest bit of guilt. Did she have a secret thing going with Jake?
“You two have become awfully chatty.” Lily jumped on that nugget, a satisfied grin on her face as she brought her latte to her lips.
Kate stared at her pointedly. “You need to stop reading something into every little thing.”
Lily laughed. “But that’s what a good reporter does. Picks up on clues, and you’ve been dropping them for a long time. You and Jake just have this vibe between you.”