He leaned against the bar that delineated the kitchen from the living room. “She showed up at The Catch.”
The pictures flying through my mind now included a drunk Janet. This would likely be the beginning of the end for Crosby and me. Now that he’d seen what I came from, what he’d have to deal with if he were involved with me in any way, he’d slowly start to pull back. I didn’t blame him. I’d want to pull back, too. But I wanted one more night. One more time to lose myself in Crosby’s touch. To feel.
I strode towards him, grabbing him by his button-down shirt and pulling him towards me. The kiss was more attack than seduction, a desperation borne of the knowledge that I would lose him soon, lose this release that I’d come to depend on. I nipped Crosby’s bottom lip. His mouth opened, and I took full advantage, slipping my tongue inside.
We lost ourselves in the kiss, but when I went for the button on Crosby’s jeans, he pulled back. “Whoa.” His gaze surveyed my face, looking for something. “Not that I don’t love the enthusiasm, but I mention your mom, and you attack me? What’s going on, Kenna?”
Kenna. He’d used my actual name. If that wasn’t evidence that things were already changing, I didn’t know what was. I stepped back, out of his circle of warmth. “Thanks for the heads-up. You can go.”
“I can go?” The words were more of a growl than a question.
I nodded. “You’ve done your due diligence. You don’t need to be tangled up in this mess anymore.”
Crosby took two long strides towards me, eating up the space between us, destroying the invisible wall I’d erected. His hand slipped under the fall of my hair, giving it a tug so I was forced to meet his gaze. “And if I don’t want to go?”
I swallowed against the emotion gathering in the back of my throat. “You will.”
His expression softened. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I kind of like having you around.”
“You won’t when my crazy mother shows up drunk or high or decides that three p.m. on a Wednesday is the perfect time to do a striptease on top of a bar. And don’t forget to add in the trouble Grant and the Abbots might cause.”
Crosby brushed my hair away from my face and swept his lips across mine. “Worth it.”
A sob was dying to break free of my chest, but I forced it down. “This is just sex.”
A flash of something that looked a lot like pain skittered across Crosby’s features. “I’m not built for settling down, but this isn’t just sex either. It never has been.”
I studied the man in front of me. The man who was offering a half-promise of more. I should’ve told him to get lost, but some little voice in my head told me that he was offering everything he had to give. And I couldn’t imagine walking away from that gift. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
Crosby arched a brow, and I laughed. “This is going to end in disaster.” I shouldn’t have been laughing, because the truth was that Crosby had the potential to hurt me. He wouldn’t mean to do it, but when he walked away, it would kill. I had spent so much of my life trying to avoid the very pain I was walking straight towards if I kept on this path with Crosby. But I was so damn sick of running away, of avoiding so many things. For the first time, I realized just how much I might be missing out on by playing it safe.
Crosby’s lips twitched. “It might, but it’ll be worth it.”
My fingers went to the top button on his shirt. “You’re going to have to earn that promise.”
Crosby’s hands closed around my wrists. “Dammit, woman, stop trying to get me naked.”
I burst out laughing. Crosby released me as I doubled over. “I never thought I’d hear those words out of your mouth.”
“Yeah, well, I never thought I’d be saying them,” Crosby grumbled.
I straightened, trying to pull myself together. “What did you want to do if we don’t get naked?”
“Oh, I’ll be getting you naked later. But, first, we need to talk.” He inclined his head to the door. “Let’s go sit on the swing.”
My throat caught at the idea of sitting on the swing that Harriet had put in overlooking the beach. She and I had sat in that very spot countless times to watch the sunset or have one of our heart-to-hearts. I hadn’t visited since she passed.
Crosby wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to my temple. “She’d want you to use it.”
I nodded against his chest. “Let’s go.”
We walked in silence. The twilight sky held the promise of a clear, starry night. When we reached the swing, I paused for a moment. Crosby gave my hand a gentle tug, pulling me down next to him. My breath stuttered as I sat, but the comfort of the worn wood and cool, sea air was a balm I hadn’t known I needed.
Crosby wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Cold?”
“No. It’s perfect. Thank you.”
“Sometimes, we just need a gentle push.”
He was right. But I wondered what it was that Crosby needed a gentle push towards. “Harriet and I solved a lot of life’s problems from this spot.”
His fingers toyed with strands of my hair. “I don’t doubt it. When I suggested that she and I sit out here one afternoon, she wouldn’t let me. She said this was her special spot with her ‘sweet girl.’”
I chuckled, picturing Harriet rejecting Crosby. “I bet you pouted.”
“I don’t pout.”
“Don’t worry, it’s a very manly pout.”
Crosby shook his head. “Think this spot has it in its magic to solve one more of life’s problems?”
“Let’s hope it does. Janet or the Abbots?”
Crosby began twirling a strand of my hair again. “I’m wondering if the two aren’t related.”
I turned to face him. “Janet said Grant called her.”
Crosby’s expression hardened. “It seemed like convenient timing.”
Thoughts churned in my brain. “I haven’t seen her for years.” Since before I left for college. And if anyone knew the kind of injury my mother could inflict, it was Grant. I’d laid bare all the wounds she’d inflicted on me, so, of course, he’d use the knowledge to his advantage. “But what good does it really do him to bring her back?”
Crosby shrugged. “It messes with your head. It’s another warning that he can make your life miserable if he wants to.”
My spine straightened. “But he can’t. Sure, he can make trouble for me, but I refuse to let him steal my joy or my peace. He won’t stop me from fighting tooth and nail for The Gables.”
Crosby gave my hair a gentle tug and pressed a kiss to my head. “That’s my girl.”
It terrified me how much I wanted to be just that.
27
Kenna
My feet pounded against the pavement, the early morning sun fighting off the chill the sweat dotting my skin had created. I was almost back to the start of my ten-mile loop, but I felt like I could do another ten. The thrum of anxiety I felt was the perfect fuel for my muscles. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time before I needed to be at work.