“Geez, Kenna. This is early, even for you.”
I startled at the sound of Caelyn’s voice cutting through the early morning air. Bringing my cool-down jog to a walk, I made my way towards her. “I could say the same for you.”
She held out a set of keys, jangling them. “I told Mr. Walters I’d open today. Why don’t you come in? I’ll make you breakfast.”
I glanced at my watch. “I have time for something quick.”
Caelyn’s lips pursed. “I can make you a scramble really quick, but you need to eat more balanced meals. No more living on that sugar-free coffee crud and energy bars.”
I chuckled. Caelyn had mama bear ingrained in her system. “Those energy bars make life easy. But you know I never turn down your delicious concoctions. Unless it involves those carob chips you’re so fond of. I don’t care what you say, they do not taste like chocolate.”
“Quit trying to sweet-talk me and get inside.” Caelyn unlocked the door to The General Store and flipped on some lights. “Head on back. I have to get a few things from the walk-in.”
I made my way through aisles I knew like the back of my hand. Caelyn, Bell, and I had ridden our bikes here for popsicles or candy bars countless times while growing up. And it was still my preferred grocery store of choice, even after we’d gotten the bigger chain one.
I rested my hands on one of the stools and began to stretch. The last thing I needed was to pull or tear something.
“You’ve lost weight.”
The worry in Caelyn’s tone had me cringing. “I’ve just been busier than usual.” And stressed to the max, worrying about Grant, The Gables, and now Janet.
“You need to take better care of yourself.”
“You sound like Crosby.” After we’d had our talk on the swing last night, he’d taken me back to the house and put one of my frozen meals in the oven, telling me he was withholding all orgasms until I ate a proper dinner. I wasn’t sure a frozen spring pasta counted as proper, but I’d eaten it anyway.
Caelyn arched a brow as she began chopping vegetables. “Crosby, huh?”
I snapped my mouth shut. I should’ve known better than to mention his name to the hopeless romantic of our group. “He’s just…” I wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.
“He’s looking out for you. Cares about you.”
I couldn’t disguise the flinch at her words. Because they rang true, and if I were really honest with myself, I wanted more. From the man who had been clear that he couldn’t give it.
Caelyn’s chopping stilled. “You’re falling for him.”
My head jerked up. “Am not.”
Caelyn’s grin spread. “You so are. Come on, would that really be so bad? You haven’t let your walls down for any man since Grant.” Her voice gentled. “Don’t you think it’s time?”
“It can’t be him.”
“Why not?”
I slid onto the stool, then picked up a napkin and began to tear it apart. “He’s made it clear that he’s not built to go the distance. With anyone.” His ex had hurt him. Deeper than maybe he even wanted to admit. I knew what it was to have the past mark you, to have it change what was possible for your future. But I also knew that no matter how much pain I endured, I still wanted to reach for forever with someone. To create a family.
I’d just been careful about who I considered to assume that role one day. All of my romantic partners since Grant had been like Henry: stable, predictable…boring. Crosby had shown me what it was like to be with someone who made me feel alive. But I couldn’t have him. Not in the way I truly wanted.
Caelyn opened a carton of eggs and began cracking a few into a bowl. “He just needs the right woman to show him what a true partnership could be.”
It was such a Caelyn thing to say, but her belief that you could change someone had gotten her into trouble on more than one occasion. The broken seemed to be drawn to her empathy and caring nature, but so often, she gave and gave, getting little in return.
I gathered the napkin bits into a pile. “I can’t force him to take a step he doesn’t want to take.”
“But you want to take it.”
I bit down on my bottom lip. I couldn’t seem to say the words out loud. If I gave voice to them, it somehow made the desire real. “He’s more than I thought he was.”
Caelyn whisked the egg mixture together with the veggies, some cream, and cheese. “How so?”
“Did you know he volunteers for the Alliance?”
Caelyn paused her work, looking up. “No, Callie never mentioned it. But then again, she doesn’t know we’re friends.”
The Alliance had helped Caelyn when she was trying to get custody of her siblings and still provided them with support now and again. And Caelyn and Callie had become good friends. “He’s one of the advocates. God, Cae. You should see him with those kids. There’s this little girl that he’s working with. Zoe. He’d do anything for her.”
There was a sheen to Caelyn’s eyes as she poured the scramble into a skillet. “He’s a good man.”
“I’m beginning to realize that he’s the best kind of man.” I’d let so many of my past wounds blind me to who Crosby truly was. Now, though, my eyes were fully open. He wasn’t perfect by any means. But the core of who he was, consisted entirely of kindness and protection.
“Then you should fight for him, Kenna.” Caelyn’s voice whipped out, stronger than I’d heard it in a long time. “Show him what a life with you could be like.”
“I don’t know…”
“I didn’t think my best friend was a wuss.”
I snorted. “I’m not, I just…” I was terrified to let myself completely go there, to go after what I wanted with the knowledge that I might get hurt in the end. “Let me take it one day at a time.”
Caelyn pointed her spatula at me. “Just as long as you’re not running away.”
“I’m not. I promise.”
The screen door slapped against the wood frame as someone entered. Heavy footsteps sounded against the worn floors. Caelyn’s eyes lit up as a deep voice sounded. “Breakfast sandwich to go.”
I turned, taking in the hulking form behind me. He was handsome, there was no doubt of that. Even the scar that bisected his brow and cut down his cheek seemed to add to his beauty somehow. “Hey, Griffin.”
He gave me a chin jerk and a grunt. That was talkative for the man. Griffin took off down one of the aisles to do what I assumed was some shopping. I leaned over the counter. “Real chatty, that one.”
Caelyn glared at me. “Don’t be mean. The rest of this island is small-minded enough when it comes to Griffin.”
I held up both hands. “I’m not. He’s just a little odd. And he’s got that I-could-crush-you-with-my-bare-hands look about him.”
“I think he’s handsome.”
I chuckled. “You’ve made that abundantly clear. You and the rest of the female population of this island, who isn’t terrified of him.”
Caelyn set my scramble down in front of me and placed her hands on her hips. “Given everything he’s been through, I think it’s natural that Griffin has some walls up. But he’s always been perfectly polite to me.”