Sara paused for a moment , thinking to herself. Nikki could tell that Sara was about to continue with her joking, and Nikki was right.
“So, which one’s better in bed?” Sara smiled as she asked the question.
Nikki instinctively reached out and pushed her friend’s shoulder away. “Oh, stop it! Not funny. You know, I’m not like that.”
Sara smirked. “Geez – single people these days. If I was single again, I’d be playing the field, ya know?”
“Sara …”
“What, a girl can dream, can’t she?”
Nikki looked sternly at her friend. Nikki knew Sara so well that Nikki knew Sara was only joking. Nikki had hung out with Sara and her husband so many times, and seen the amazing chemistry between them, that she knew this was one hundred percent just Sara trying to be funny. Nikki’s look straightened up Sara.
“I know, I know. I’m kidding,” Sara said. “So, tell me about Ryan first.”
Nikki immediately opened up at the opportunity to describe him. “I mean. He’s just dreamy. He’s physically stunning, and when he holds me, I feel secure and safe. He’s really funny too – even funnier than you.”
Nikki paused to see how her taunting had landed with Sara, as a way to get back at her prior cruel jokes. Sara just smirked and nodded along for Nikki to continue describing Ryan.
“Emotionally, he’s really opened up. When I first met him, he was having a tough time tapping into his emotions. But that’s really changed recently. And last night he said ‘I love you’ for the first time.”
“Did you say it back?”
“No. See, that’s the thing. I don’t want to say it to a guy until I feel like I’ve found the one. Is that too much of a dream?”
Sara’s reply was so quick that it immediately struck Nikki, like something she’d never actually realized about herself. “Well, you are definitely a dreamer.”
Nikki wanted to ask Sara more about this. But after a moment of having the introspection sink in, Nikki continued to tell Sara about her predicament.
“Also, I mean – I’ve only been going out with Ryan sporadically for about a month. Isn’t it too soon to say I love you after just a month?”
Sara straightened up and got serious. “Nikki, think back to all of those first dates you went on. Weren’t you searching for someone who you’d know right away would be the person you loved for the rest of your life?”
“Yeah…”
“You’ve been more open to sharing your love with a man than you know. Who cares if it’s after a month, a week, or on a first date? You’re smart and experienced enough to not be fooled into love again. So, when you say just now that you’ve fallen in love with two men, I believe you. I honestly think you have.”
Nikki had always felt like her dad would be the main person she’d turn to for advice in life. But now, she felt like she’d won the lottery by finding another person in life whom she also trusted to give her the advice she sought.
“So, now, tell me about Luke,” asked Sara.
Nikki smiled and burst out explaining Luke just as she’d immediately done with describing Ryan: “I mean, it felt like fate. When I’m around him, I feel … well, like myself. Like who I am …”
“A dreamer,” interrupted Sara bluntly, again repeating what she’d said just a moment ago. Sara’s tone wasn’t like her prior jokes. It was more to reinforce her observation of Nikki as a friend.
“… right …” Nikki stammered. “But I do. I really do feel like myself when I’m around him. He’s not as physically built – or even as funny – as Ryan. But I feel like I can open up to him. I feel at peace. I feel like life has a greater purpose to it than just finding someone to love. I feel like I want to give love back and be a better person. Does this make sense?”
Sara moved forward and put her hand on Nikki’s shoulder. “It does. It absolutely does. And I support your choice completely – even without having met him.”
Surprisingly, Sara didn’t say anything else. Instead, she picked her apron back up and went to leave the kitchen at the end of their shift.
Nikki stood flabbergasted. What was happening? Where was Sara’s advice?
“Wait!” Nikki said, running up to her friend. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going home, Nikki. It’s been a long day watching you avoid me until the end of it.” Sara chuckled.
“But aren’t you going to give me any advice on which one you’d pick?”
Sara turned to look at her friend. “What, did you want me to tell you to follow your heart or something like that?”
“Yeah! As a matter of fact, I did!”
When Sara realized that Nikki was being serious in her naivety about her decision, she again placed her hand on Nikki’s shoulder.
“Nikki, I didn’t give you any advice because you don’t need any.”
A confused look now adorned Nikki’s face. “What do you mean?”
“Nikki, you’ve already made your mind up.”
“I have?”
Sara nodded.
“But, what do you mean? How do you know that?”
Sara’s next words manifested a realization in Nikki that even she didn’t realize while describing the two men out loud. And Sara’s words told Nikki everything she needed to hear. It was more than advice. It was a self-realization and confidence in her own abilities. And Sara was right.
“Nikki, for one man, you only described who he was. For the other, you only described how you felt around him. One of those is something to build your life around.”
Chapter 21
Nikki heard the knock on her door, ecstatic at Luke’s arrival for their date tonight. Inside, she felt an overwhelming desire to let him in, jump on him, and tell him about her realization from yesterday. It was him. She wanted him and just him. She wanted to let him know how she felt around him because it was how he made her feel.
But she knew she shouldn’t. She knew she had to let things happen naturally. And she had to let him know this by moving at whatever pace he needed to go at, no matter how much slower it was than how she now wanted to actually progress. More importantly, though, she knew she shouldn’t just overwhelm him with the floodgate of how she felt because there were still some things she’d hope to see in Luke. One of those was that he tended to be … so … serious wasn’t the right word, but rather passionate. She knew that they’d been reunited by forces which took them both by surprise and that those forces had been overwhelmingly deep and amazingly fulfilling. But now, she wanted to see other more natural sides to him. She wanted to see what Luke was like when they were just being around each other to have fun. This led Nikki to avoid jumping on him the moment she opened her door and was also the reason why she’d planned a very unique date for them tonight.
“Hey!” Luke’s excited tone from the moment Nikki opened her door gave her hope that she’d see the lighter side of him.
He stepped inside and pecked her cheek, giving Nikki the reassured feeling that things were leaving off the same place as when they’d seen each other just a couple days ago.