“I will always be true with you, Naomi. That’s a fucking promise.”
She falls silent, just leaning into me as I hold her so close my heart starts to beat in sync with hers, and it’s only then that I realize it’s beating fast. Hers likely because of what we’re talking about. Mine? Because the woman in my arms right now feels…right.
I mentally shake myself. I just promised I’d be her friend. That I’d be true to her.
So, I lock those other thoughts, the dangerous ones, down. Shove them into a box and seal up the lid. What good has lust ever gotten me anyway? That’s how I lost Viola in the first place—letting my dick do all the thinking.
Time to mix things up. That’s what I’m trying to do with this duet.
No one likes dwelling in their pain or their past. When people look back on their lives, it’s either with regret or nostalgia. I have a lot of regrets I’m wading through and so does Naomi. It’s likely why I’m drawn to her the way I am. It’s also why we have such good musical chemistry together.
We’re not opposites she and I.
We’re cut from the same cloth.
It’s an alluring drug when you meet someone who you feel can see the real you, and not only do they understand it, but they accept it. Especially when most don’t.
But I don’t hide the way she does.
She holds so much of herself back, I wonder if she ever feels calm in her skin.
“I’m saying yes to the duet, Gus. I was planning on saying yes, even before Casper showed up. But seeing him…” She trails off and sighs again. “I don’t want that bravery to be a face or a façade. I want that to be who I am once again. It’s time to put the past behind me. To find the girl I used to be and have her become the woman I’ve always wanted to become.”
I pull back and cup her face, gazing deeply into her eyes.
God, she’s so pretty.
I should be so relieved she’s saying yes. So excited. But staring at her, up close like this…my thumb brushes along her skin, my eyes tracking the movement, locking on her lips. I hear her breath catch, but she doesn’t ask me to stop or let her go.
And I know I need to.
She’s saying yes to this song. That means she’s officially off-limits. The guillotine has dropped. The line severed.
I cannot get involved with her.
That’s rule fucking one, right? Don’t fuck where you work? Business not pleasure? I don’t exactly have the best track record with women. Plus, I’m not sure what I’d want with her anyway. She’s not a quick and dirty fuck in a back room after a show, that’s for damn sure. She’s not a groupie who doesn’t care.
My head and my heart are all over the place.
I let my hands drop and I step back. Even if it’s the last thing I want to do.
I won’t be another guy who screws her over.
I force a smile I do not feel. “Then that’s what we’re going to do.”
She returns my smile, gives me a small wink, and heads back toward her kitchen to start making Adalyn the popcorn she promised her. But in the back of my mind, I can’t help but wonder if I’m making yet another mistake I’ll live to regret.
Chapter Twelve
Gus
* * *
“So…” Naomi trails off as she addresses the piano in her music room. “What do you think of this.” Then she launches into a whole musical arrangement. I’m sitting in an oversized chair, listening as I stare out the glass wall into the living room where Adalyn is sleeping on the couch.
The three of us ate popcorn and pizza and watched a couple of Mickey Mouse things before Adalyn passed out. Naomi told me that her music room is soundproof, and I think that’s the coolest thing ever.
Then again, everything about this woman is.
I nod my head as I listen, taking in how she’s building it up, heading for a crescendo, but isn’t overdoing it either. We talked a little about it while we were eating and watching only for Ady to say, “Shhh. Stop talking, please.” The girl has manners in spades. Both Naomi and I agreed that the music is meant to be more of a background. A complement.
But it’s difficult to focus when I think about tonight.
The three of us laughed and sang along and cheered and answered Mickey’s questions—and it was so fun. Just hanging out. Just being us without any pressure or obligations. Adalyn really warmed toward Naomi, who was nothing but gracious and excited that we were in her home, taking over space, and making a mess.
She didn’t care.
She was just so happy that Adalyn seemed to like her.
I texted Jasper and Vi a selfie we took just so I could show them that Ady was having a good time and doing well. And fucking Jasper being the dick that he is, wrote back, Wow, it’s amazing how good camera phones are. They can even see into the future. He added to that by sending a big fat smirk of an emoji. Then Viola got in on the action by texting, Seriously, it’s crazy how much yours and Naomi’s future daughter looks so much like Adalyn.
Sigh.
“Gus?” Naomi’s voice breaks through my reverie and I come to, realizing she’s stopped playing. “What do you think?”
I honestly have no idea. I don’t think I heard much of it at all.
I spin around in the chair and face her. “Sure. Great.”
She rolls her eyes, setting her hands on the black bench on either side of her hips. “Were you even listening?”
“I liked it.”
“You didn’t listen,” she admonishes with a smile in her voice that tells me she’s not angry. “I started to realize you were zoned out and switched it up to Metallica.”
Shit. Busted. I laugh, rubbing at my jaw. “I’m sorry. I think I’m just wiped. How about you come over to Jasper’s tomorrow, and we work some of this out with them? It feels weird writing music without the guys.”
She gets up from the bench and walks toward me, all gorgeous curves and sweet smile and eyes the color of the sapphires. She climbs up onto the large rounded arm of my chair, tucking her feet beside my thigh and pinning me with a stare not to be ignored. “You didn’t have to stay, you know. You could have left when the movie ended.”
I know that. But I haven’t wanted to leave, and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m worried about who else might show up after I’m gone or because I like her company or because I’m just that sort of masochist.
Or maybe it’s the bathtub.
All I can think about is the fucking bathtub!
“What time is it anyway?” I scrub a hand over my face and grin into my hands as I hear Naomi giggle.
“Eight-fifteen. Your reputation as a party man precedes you.”
My hand drops to my thigh, my lips forming a tight line. “Do I really have that reputation?”
She nods. “Yeah. At least you did last summer when all that crap was going down with you and your brother and sister-in-law. Sorry. Maybe not the best subject to bring up.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s true. I was out partying a lot on that tour. Secretly trying to drive Jasper crazy.” Her eyebrows pinch together in confusion as she angles her head in my direction. I reach out, brushing some of her dark hair back from her face, my fingers gliding down the long strand until I find the end, curling it around my finger.