Chapter Fourteen
Naomi
* * *
I don’t think I am ready for this. For some reason, I figured we’d just all chill out a bit. Shoot the shit. Get to know each other.
But that’s stupid, right?
I mean, Gus told me last night he wanted me to play for his brother and bandmates.
I said yes to doing this duet.
Now I’m sitting in a music room that’s almost as cool as mine, sipping on a Diet Coke and staring at Jasper, Keith, and Henry who are all staring back at me with a mixture of awe, intrigue, appreciation, desire, and concern.
I feel like some strange specimen on display, and I can’t decide where I’m supposed to look. Who is safe. Their scrutiny is unnerving. Especially as they continue to trade meaningful glances coupled with severe frowns with each other in between long stares at me. The silence is stifling—and it’s starting to grate on my already fragile nerves.
Viola and Adalyn were playing this charming game with shapes and colors, and I think I’d rather go back up there and chill with them. I glance longingly toward the door and then mentally shake myself.
Don’t show fear, Naomi. That’s bullshit and useless and you’re better than that.
Right. Totally. I’m like fifty-eight percent there with that.
The problem I’m having is, I want them to like me. I realize that makes me sound like a nine-year-old, but so be it. I do. I’m an all or nothing girl, and since deciding to be all-in with this duet, my mind has been a disaster. A fluctuating mess between trying to write words that I cannot force to come because I’m reluctant to dredge up the feeling and emotion behind them and sitting behind my piano or with my guitar, plucking out notes until they’re perfect for hours.
I know I require their approval, because let’s face, I do.
Gus is not a one-man army.
He’s part of a hugely successful band, and part of that band is his brother. But what they’re doing with me right now is a mystery, and I have no words to break this strange swirl of tension because I don’t know these guys.
Gus is no help. He’s just sitting in his chair, staring at me while rubbing absently at his chiseled jaw. I frown at him, widening my eyes, but he gives me nothing back in return. Seriously?
Suddenly Lyric’s words churn in my stomach like bad sushi. Because his face is like a piece of priceless art in a museum. Gorgeous, thought-provoking, and totally untouchable despite how badly you might want to own it.
He teases and flirts and… yeah, I could like Gus Diamond.
I could like him a lot if I let myself.
We have that pull. A magnetic draw that buzzes between us, shooting back and forth like fighting nemesis, tickling my skin and zapping up my spine. It’s heady and dangerous and so goddamn sweet I just want to lick it off my lips.
The way he looks at me sometimes could set the whole room ablaze and yet, right now, he’s different.
Closed off.
Warm and friendly, sure, but it’s not the same as it was last night, and instinctively, I know it’s because of where we are and who we’re with. I know this attraction is ill-fated. Illogical. CRAZY! But it makes me miss things I once had. Things I want to have again one day.
Things I know I’ll never have with Gus.
Viola left us to ourselves almost immediately, Adalyn gave me a sweet smile but that was all the loving I got. I seriously wish Lyric or even Ethan were here. I could use an ally and Gus, for whatever reason, right now doesn’t feel like it.
Finally, one of them clears their throat. “We heard the track of when you and Gus sang Time Surrender.” That’s Henry and all I can do is nod. “It was good, but I think I need better.”
Um. Okay. What the hell does that mean? I frown, my eyebrows pinching in. My hands find my hips, and I just stare at him, wondering…does he not realize it was only the first time Gus and I sang together? And if memory serves, that first time was unbelievable.
I have a feeling I’m not going to take criticism from them well.
“You understand the importance of a song like this for Gus.” That’s Keith and again, all I can do is nod. “But it’s not just his name on the line. As Henry said, we heard the song. But yeah…” He trails off, folding his large arms over his chest and giving me a pinched scowl. He shakes his head in dismay. “You can understand why we’re not as sold on you as Gus and Viola are.”
Right. Not really, actually. And when did this become the Spanish Inquisition?
“Are you seeing anyone?” Keith again, and I find myself glaring at him as I try to read into something that’s eluding me. The fuck is going on here? “If not, is that on the table with this? Because if you say no, that’s a no-go for me. I think you’re hot and really sexy, and I think I’d like to make some babies with you soon.”
Jasper hasn’t so much as said two words. He’s just been sitting in his office-like chair, leaning back in it with his hands clasped behind his head, quietly observing me.
“Um.” I shake myself out of this, turning back to Keith and away from Jasper since he’s no help.
Keith cannot be serious with that ridiculousness. I peek over at Gus who sits stoically like a guy watching a forced rom-com with a bag of popcorn in his lap as his girl constantly dips into it as she chews with her mouth open. That doesn’t even make sense, but it feels like it does in my warped mind.
“Did you infuse this Diet Coke with LSD and suddenly I’m tripping out?” No response. “Right. Well, let’s go with I’m fucking Mother Teresa and holy and virtuous where your man parts are concerned. This girl” —I point in the general direction of my pussy— “is a no-go for you men.”
Keith is nonplussed.
“She would have never said fuck before she died. So, I’m thinking you’re not as virtuous as she was. Which also means you’re saying there’s a chance.”
“Slow it down, baby cakes. I saw Dumb and Dumber too.”
Keith grins like the devil, his blue eyes sparkling. “That right there.” He points at me.
“Can we get back to this? We’re here about the music. Not our big dicks,” Henry snaps at Keith with an edge before turning on me “What are your intentions with this song?”
And that’s when I turn to Henry, tilt my head in his direction, stare him down before each of the other guys and then crack up. “I honestly can’t say. I mean, I hardly know it at this point. But if it’ll take me,” I wipe at my dry eyes with sarcastic emotion, “I might want to marry it one day. Possibly spawn its offspring. Not yours, Keith. Sorry about that.” I give him a sorry not sorry shrug.
“You can’t mean that,” Keith says. “You have to want me too.”
A smirk quirks up Jasper’s lips and I know I’m on to something here. The most stoic is always the one to crumble first.
“Were you hoping I’d one night it? Hit it and quit it? Is that what you want with me, Keith? The Mother would be so disappointed.” He grins. “How about you? Are you cool with my super-secret love affair with this song given my penchant for monogamy?” I ask Henry, who is still holding on tight. “Meaningless sex isn’t really my style. I wouldn’t exactly call it love yet, it’s still too new, too unfinished, but I think given some time I might get there.”