We had memories.
Chapter Twelve
Quinn
“She needs to hear it. She’s been fed lies for too long.”
“I’m trying to make the best out of this situation,” I said, my teeth tight from impatience, fury, and confusion. A hysterical laugh bubbled out of me next, “You lot are really un-fucking-believable.” I leaned my hip against the counter and brought the white mug to my lips and sipped my coffee. “You ruined my wedding,” I started making a list of everything. “I hadn’t seen you in ten years and poof! Out of nowhere, here you are, shooting my damn… Brian and expect me to be calm. Next, you tell me he is using me; then you say you aren’t a killer.”
“No, wait, I never said I wasn’t a killer. I said I didn’t kill Tracy,” Jaxon spoke over me.
Baffled, I opened my mouth and closed it, unsure of what to say. I felt like I had entered the Twilight Zone. “That’s better? You still killed people! And you guys expect me to skip down the hallway, all happy and blissed out of my mind that you saved me from distress. Did it ever occur to you that I have no idea what the hell is going on and what you want from me? Did it occur to you that I have handled this well up until this moment? As of right now, I think of you as the men that ruined my damn life. I don’t even know you, people!” I felt the panic I had been hiding for the last few days start to make itself known.
No, no, no, I can’t fall apart now. Not in front of all these men.
“If anyone selfish, it’s you! Rushing me, forcing me into believing you when I don’t know what to believe. I’m barely here. I’m barely present. And Jaxon! After ten years, you expect me to waltz back into your arms. Too much has happened. Things aren’t the same. Wake up! We can’t reverse time. Stop pushing me.” My throat was raw from the time I got done with my tantrum, and a lone tear fell from the corner of my eye. “Someone take me to Brian now. I’m not fucking asking. I’m telling.” I spun around and shoved my finger in Jaxon’s chest. “Take me to the guy that was there for me for the last ten years.” It was a low blow, and I wished I could take the words back as soon as they left my mouth. Jaxon looked like he got slapped in the face, but I was sick of being understanding or thinking with my head on straight. I deserved to see Brian.
If Jaxon was innocent, it wasn’t his fault that he wasn’t there for me, but I was running high on all emotions, and I was tired.
No one said a word. The guys blinked at me, and some of them looked away, ashamed, even Owen couldn’t meet my eyes.
“You heard her,” the old lady’s voice came from the living room. I stood on my tiptoes to see over the couch and saw her lighting something that looked like a cigarette but wasn’t from the smell. “She’s right, and you know it.”
“Thank you,” I said genuinely and wiped my cheek. I felt Jaxon’s eyes on me. I hurt him deeply with what I said, but I needed to say it. I needed him to see it wouldn’t be as easy as he thought, as none of them thought. I wouldn’t apologize, not yet.
“Come on,” Jaxon said. I followed him around the table as we walked in the opposite direction of the room I had been staying in. He walked in front of me, strides quick and arms swinging at his sides, clearly pissed off.
I kept my arms crossed as we walked and stared to the left, seeing an infinity pool outside, the water looking like it was falling over the cliffs. In the distance, a taller cliff stood, and the water beat against it, sending white foam in the air, almost drenching the seagulls flying. Now that the sun rose, the weather showed its face, and the sky had turned from a dull orange to a dark grey, promising rain. It made sense with how rageful the ocean seemed.
After the infinity pool was out of sight, the wide windows disappeared, and a solid wall took its place. We passed a few more doors, probably more bedrooms, and then the hallway ended again after what seemed like ten minutes of just walking. The area opened to another living space, and more light flowed in this living room than the other. There was no TV, I noticed, just a few black chairs placed around the room and bookshelves lined the walls, every row from top to bottom was filled with a different novel.
Wow. Now this was a room I could stay in.
“I don’t have time to waste. Keep up,” Jaxon snapped his fingers at me from a few yards away. Yep. He was pissed. Fine. Now, he knew what it felt like. We came to the end of the hall; the colors of the wall never changed. They were a stark white, and the floors were an abyss black. With every step, I thought I’d fall through.
He pressed his finger on the scanner, and the door slid open to reveal an elevator.
Of course, he had an elevator. In a place this size, who wouldn’t? How many floors did this house have?
He held the matte black doors open for me so they wouldn’t close, and I stepped inside first. The space was large, big enough to move furniture. Mirrors surrounded us, and after a quick glance at our reflections, I kept my eyes focused on the panel that had the levels on each button.
Four floors.
Five if you included the basement.
He pressed the button to the basement, and it lit up a bright gold as we started to descend. I took notice of his body being so close to mine in such a small space. There was something about elevators, I decided, that made the body yearn for the person next to you. It was intimate being so close, just the two of us, and I knew what he felt like against me. He was too good to forget.
His cologne wrapped around me. It smelt wild like the salty breeze the ocean carried with aged pine, something that had been born into the air long before everything else. God, I loved it when a man smelled good. I slid my gaze from the silver panel and roamed my eyes up his body. He had a strong profile, a thick neck, and a straight Roman nose. He had trimmed his beard; the front didn’t hang like it did the other day. It was short, the same length as his sides.
Even after so much time, he had me wrapped around his finger, and the bitch of it was? He knew it. Jaxon watched the elevator descend, watching as the numbers got lower. I knew he had his attention on the lights switching with the floor level not to look at me, but his self-disciple was better than mine.
When the elevator came to a smooth stop, it took a second for the heavy metal to settle before the doors opened. I expected darkness, water dripping onto the floor, lights flickering like a haunted house. I expected hooks hanging from the ceilings and maniacal laughter echoing off the walls, unable to locate the creepy sound because of the acoustics of the basement.
It was nothing like that.
I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed to not see a dungeon. I expected as much from Jaxon.
The basement looked like the other floors, only a bit colder since it was underground and had no windows, well, none I could see yet. The lights were turned down to pilot mode, and the slight glow reminded me of lamps hanging on the walls to ignite a path like they did in the olden days.
The walls were still white, and the floors were still black. If anything, Jaxon was consistent with his colors.
The basement wasn’t for fun and games. That much was clear. I could smell the antiseptic in the air along with cleaning solution fumes mixed with sterile plastic, and I wanted to gag. It reeked of a hospital. I hated the smell of hospitals.